To cut nighttime breastfeeds cold turkey for 14 month old

[blueberry23]

My 14m old is waking constantly for boob. We cosleep.

I cannot continue like this so I've decided to go cold Turkey between 7pm and 7am as of tonight. I quite simply cannot do it any more. I haven't had a full nights sleep in 4 years.

Any tips for me? I'll be right there next to him, I'll offer cuddles and love but no boob.

I'm hoping after 2 nights he will get the message.

Anyone done this and had success?

It’s probably going to go better if your partner settles and cuddles overnight rather than you if they are used to several feeds.

@Completelyjo I was thinking that, but we cosleep and I want to be able to cosleep with him after night weaning.

If my DH does it then soon as he sleeps next to me again won't he just expect milk? I was thinking I need to get him used to being next to me in the night but with no boob access

Hopeful bump to see if anyone else has managed this!

How is his language? I dropped night feeds around 15 months but she was in her own room until early hours of the morning at least and it was usually only one feed (at 14 months she also had a phase of wanting it loads so I did wait for that to pass though it was an exhausting few weeks) and her language was good, so when she would wake and ask for milk, I’d tell her she had had her milk at bedtime, but we could still have cuddles. She whimpered a bit to start with but was fine. I did still feed her when it got to 5am though as otherwise she wouldn’t have slept.

If he has always woken lots for boob then I’d go for it, if it’s more of a phase I would try and persevere until it drops as it would be easier to go from 1/2 feeds to none, but I get it if you just can’t wait!!

Does he have anything else for comfort? Teddy, lovey etc? As that may help too. Wear a top that isn’t easy to access your breasts, that can help too.

Might make it easier though, worth seeing if he settles with DH and then trying it with you if that goes well.

When we fully weaned at 21 months (had been bedtime only for six months) I told her my milk was going away. She went into toddler bed same time, and hadn’t asked for the first couple of nights but when she did I just explained I didn’t have milk anymore.

Thank you both

His language isn't great but he understands more than he can speak. If I say 'no milk' he gets very angry. So he does know what it means.

I just can't function any more. I want to cry today. I'm failing at parenting both my children because of the exhaustion. He did go through a period of sleeping through but has been months of wanting to sleep with a boob in his mouth all night now.

He doesn't have a blanket or a cuddly or anything - it's me, I am the teddy 🤣

I weaned at 14 months, we dropped a feed every few nights to save me getting engorged. I started by dropping the first one of the night which would usually happen before I went to sleep then the last one and dropped the others after that. It worked surprisingly well and I just told her no mummy’s milk and she accepted it pretty quickly- I was surprised it was done in ten days. My first was a lot more difficult!
I am really relieved to have weaned but I have to admit she isn’t sleeping through still so it might not be the silver bullet you are hoping for.

No, it's the first couple of nights that are tough and frustrating if you're there, so let DH handle then you can go back to co sleeping in a few days.

No advice OP but I’m in the same boat.

My 14 month old has always been a contact napper (clues in the username) but we have managed to get her into her cot at night. She isn’t a great sleeper though and I’m at a stage now where I want to night wean as I’m back to work and need my sleep.

I have the exact same complication though in that it’s not even about the night feeds it’s about me being a human dummy. And we have tried all the suggestions of rocking her back to sleep, cuddling her, offering water, offering a bottle, DH going into her instead of me but absolutely nothing will calm her down but boob. And not even a feed just a human dummy.

I absolutely hate it and it really needs to stop but I haven’t got the will power at the moment for more than half hour of hysterical screaming before giving in. She isn’t at a stage at all where we can reason with her and she’s had a lot of changes with starting nursery and the illnesses and the teething and whatnot so I just feel guilty.

I’ll be following the thread for new ideas but at the moment my strategy is hoping she just grows out of it before I go mad.

I got my DH to take days off work, and then he did nights for 3 nights with my 12month old. Honestly I recommend it.

Number 1, I bet you desperately need some sleep.
Number 2 It was no trouble at all. Little one settled for dad each night quicker than the last
Number 3 are you sure you'll be able to hold the line if your little one is screaming for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, or repeatedly through the night?

Not co-sleeping for 3 nights (I also co-sleep) is just not a big deal if it means little one gets to snuggle with dad instead. Quite nice for them to have the time together.

Honestly I would try push it to the weekend, if your partner can't get time off, and hand the 'work' to them as it will be 100 times easier doing it that way.

We are in the process of doing this now, my daughter is a little older, we started attempting to night wean her around 2, which did not go well.
She was absolutely inconsolable with not having milk so we ended up backtracking as we had tried to move her into her own room (double floor bed so we could cosleep with her there or come back and resettle her in the night) and it was just too exhausting for all of us as her sleep got much worse for a while due to the changes.
So we went back to our room cosleeping & feeding but then my supply stopped being enough for her so she was waking and trying to nurse but still getting upset and being unsettled so none of us were sleeping well.
So we tried again and I know it isn't what you want to hear but it has only worked by my husband being the one to put her to sleep and get up to resettle her in the night. So we moved her back into her own room & we would never leave her to cry but I would 'disappear' and my husband would take her to bed and lie with her until she fell asleep, initially this was quite a bit of crying but he would comfort her and we only had me come in to help on a handful of really challenging nights.
If I went anywhere near her at anytime during the process, even in the morning she would want milk and scream bloody murder if I tried to just cuddle her or soothe her another way.
It's taken about 3 months but now she has no issues going to bed with him and saying good night to me so I no longer have to hide at bedtime! (It's been better for a while but its night and day compared to 3 months ago!)
And for the first time this week when I've gone in to wake her in the morning she hasn't tried to pull up my top to feed and just asked for cereal so I think we are turning the corner where she understands that milk is done and now hopefully me & my husband can share the night time.
I'm keen to go back to a certain amount of cosleeping once she's disconnected me from milk specifically and allows me to comfort her with cuddles instead.
But I think for us unintentionally it will require us to stop breastfeeding totally which is a bit of shame as I don't mind the comfort and bonding aspect in the day just night time was becoming untenable. She doesn't really ask for it at all anymore outside of sleep/wake times though so I think she'll be okay, just emotional for me!
Though probably for the best as I'm pregnant with our second.

I reached that point with al 3 of mine. At around 13 months. EBF and I could ever express so I just reached my limit if sleep deprivation. I did it myself and just patted/cuddled and offered water. They shouted loud protestations (not hysterical tears crying) but I didn't leave them. Just cuddled it out. It was one very very tiring night. Maximum two then off the boob at night xx you can do it.

So, we had a bit of a delayed start and ended up going for it last night.

It was horrendous, he was with DH but barely slept a wink all night. Has been utterly miserable today, and refusing to nap now as well, all he wants to do is feed constantly.

Same again tonight, though we are going to have to take tonight in two shifts so that we both get at least a little sleep.

I really hope this doesn't take long 😫

stick with it. You need to get your sanity back!

Two of my children wouldn’t give it up, with my first he’s was 18 months when I fell pregnant again. Breastfeeding was agony due to hormones! Put a toddler bed next to our bed, lots of stories with dad before bed so he couldn’t try it with me and he took to ‘no mum at bedtime’ pretty quick (as guilty as I felt!). My second, he bit me accidentally during a night feed, I was too sore to feed him but he actually took cold turkey really well. Third would not give it up for anything, did the ‘bed next to mums’ route again and it eventually worked - not the co sleeping though, he’s managed to get back into my bed somehow two years later…

My middle daughter was the same, she was still waking at 2 several times for milk. There were times she would wander from her room into mine and cuddle in and latch! I put a onesie on back to front for a couple of nights and she gave in!

I did it on each of my three kids times without XH's support, between the ages of 12 months and 17 months.
Each time I brought 2 sippy cups to bed with me (one milk, one water), covered up my chest and said "no, sorry, mummy's too tired" and offered the sippy cups and cuddles.
It wasn't very difficult to night wean, but only one of them started sleeping significantly better afterwards. I had other reasons to night wean, though, and was very glad I did it. My youngest carried on feeding during the day for about 10 months after night weaning, which suited me. The other twolist interested in feeding soon after night weaning, but I feel that was because I was pregnant and there was less milk.

I did this when DS was about 18 months old, the only way it worked was if I moved into our older sons room for 2 months and DH took over nights. It was tough for the first couple of weeks then he got used to it. Stopped breastfeeding altogether when he turned 2.