To remove DS from nursery always sick?

[Findingmyselfagainn]

Since DS started nursery in September he’s a completely different child. He’s always sick every week he is picking something up. We now have bronchitis. When I drop him off the kids there are full of cold and noses running.

MIL has now offered to have him as I keep having time off from work and I can’t do it anymore.

DS keeps bringing it home and then we are all sick I just can’t do it anymore. Making our lives so miserable.

It's just him building his immune system. They all catch everything going that first year of nursery. If not now, you have it when he starts school.

The first year is always like this. I sympathise, OP, it’s utterly miserable.

But you either do it now, or at pre-school or school. At whatever stage he starts going into classrooms/childcare settings, this is going to happen. So you might just need to push through. It does get better as their immune system gets stronger.

I wouldn’t rely on my mil (or my own mum) doing daily care for years either. It’s a lot to ask and may damaged your relationship with them. Much better to ask for her help when your child is off, than on a daily basis.

All you will be doing is delaying it. Everybody has to do this to build their immune system whether you do it now or put him in a bubble and do it later it will still happen

Agreed, all you are doing is delaying it.

I agree, he's picking everything up and building his immune system.
It's good that you have MIL to help so that should help when he's off if he's only got a cough and a cold or whatever.

First few months are the worse. After that things settle down once their immune system kicks in.

I found that nursery was better than child minder, as my friends child minders were always going off sick themselves, or taking holiday* etc so meant even more time off work for the parents.

I know your MIL isn't a registered CM (I'm assuming) but the point still stands - she will be ill sometimes, and want to go on holiday, or take a week break for some reason. Plus many people using family as child care find issues arise that can cause problems and affect relationships. (Chocolate/sugar consumption seems to be a big one on MN...)

*Of course CM's are entitled to holiday or time off sick, it's just another headache for the parent trying to work. Nurseries remain open 50? weeks of the year regardless - it doesn't matter if one of the staff are off for any reason.

This is normal as his immune system starts dealing with all the endemic bugs out there in the world.

If you keep him out of any kind of large-group childcare he will get all the bugs when he starts school instead, missing out on weeks of education.

Of course you could then home-educate and avoid him ever having to face life in a world of germs.

I agree that it just delays it. It is also worth considering your MILs health. I found that as my mum got older, if she became ill it would take her longer to recover so then I had to take time off for childcare while she was ill.

Agree with the above. As a nursery nurse, you're just delaying the inevitable!

Better now than when they start school and you have all the absence letter meetings hassle on top.

Thanks its awful I don’t even remember my other 2 being this sick! Me and hubby were both up all last night with him vomitting heart beating fast. Both of work today haven’t slept. The amount we pay for nursery and we aren’t using it is frustrating.

You'll just be delaying it.

Do you mean nursery as in private daycare nursery? In that case, just do whatever suits you, but do be aware he'll catch everything in school.

If you mean nursery as in preschool and he's starting school next Sept, leave him in. It's so hard for them to start school if they're not used to being in a group setting like that.

A few years ago we had 2 in nursery and between Sept and Dec there wasn't a single week we both worked 5 days as they were sick so often. This year one of them had 2 days off as she vomited and the other has had nothing. You do get through it unless you're very unlucky.

So normal. My daughter’s first year of nursery was hell, constantly cough and colds and occasional vomiting bugs. I would often get sick myself.

But don’t get me started on my sons first year of life, my daughter would constantly bring home germs from school and he would constantly be sick from newborn up to age 1. Many of times spent in hospital. Hes nearly two now and it seems to be calming down. Hold tight, it will get better.

Can MIL help with pickups and days off so you’re not taking time off of work?

It's nonsense to say you are just delaying it. I don't remember any of my three having bronchitis at primary school or pre school and they were looked after at home before pre school at two and half. Yes they got ill with the usual suspects Swine flu, D & v, molluscum, bad colds, as babies/toddlers. They socialised constantly as babies/toddlers but if your MIL is there it is much more easily managed and you aren't paying for nursery

Also check his iron levels./vitamin d This can be a factor in repeated infections

Well, if you have to pay loads for the nursery and he doesn't go then surely it doesn't make sense. Yes, it's normal for a child to be very ill and off sick every month for the first year, but it looks like it doesn't make much economic sense for you and your family. When my DS was little (18 months) I put him with a childminder instead - fewer kids and germs = fewer infections. Also, childminders are usually more flexible, if not cheaper and I found the care they provide so much better for small toddlers (home environment). If you have that posibility, I would withdraw him from the nursery and use MIL's help/childminder instead for the first year or so. Good luck!

Mine were never particularly ill with nursery. A few chesty cold and snotty noses, but never more than 2 or 3 days off a year.

Perhaps your nursery isn’t the right one for you or perhaps he’s more predisposed to illness. Although with two older siblings you’d think he’d already have a reasonable exposure to germs.

It's always rough the first few months they start but if continues for 6 months or more have him checked for asthma.

Dd picked up everything at nursery. There was a constant cold, cough and runny nose and it was asthma.

Playgroups and social life also give you bugs but at least it's not literally a petri dish. And you can go to a playground with a runny nose, and you aren't paying for the privilege. Just imho mind you

Agree, the first winter is continual! It's worth sticking it out though

Not sure I agree with those saying you're just delaying it. How old is the child? There's a big difference between a child having back-to-back illnesses for a year at age 2 or 3, and having more widely-spaced illnesses between the ages of 2 and 6 for example. The former can really takes its toll on a child. If you have the option of MIL taking car of him, I'd have him with her most days and in nursery 1 or 2 days a week if that's possible.

Ds2 was diagnosed with "asthma" by a NHS paediatrician at 11 months. I was a SAHM at the time, no nursery. By 15 months there was no evidence of it. Nor to this day. Pre school at 2.5 years three hours a day until school.

I'm not sure what you would conclude from that but I think constant fresh air and exercise did help him "grow out of it" whereas a "closed" nursery environment might have exacerbated it..who knows.

Why are people saying it's worth sticking it out? On what evidence? It's no less anecdotal than my own, anecdotal experience of no nursery leading to my child's improved health.

Oh and I agree with previous person who mentioned Vitamin D. You can get a spray for the mouth that's easier than a tablet.

Generally they do pick up everything.

But if you think it is excessive then I would visit your GP. It could be (especially as it's not your first child) that there is an underlying cause.

Asthma isn't diagnosed before age 2 any more because growing out of it is very common.