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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To continue correcting people who mispronounce colleagues name

56 replies

Gialam · 06/11/2024 07:54

About 3 weeks ago a new person joined my team, she’s young this is her first real job and I can tell she’s worried about making a good impression.
She’s French-Italian, her name is Eva but pronounced Eh-vah instead of Ee-vah.
For the first few days she corrected people and most now say her name right but now 3 people continue to pronounce it wrong, one is my boss (so her bosses boss) and two are older members of our team.
I’ve been told I’m being pedantic in continuing to correct them especially as she has stopped.
AIBU to continue correcting how they say her name until the show her some respect and say it right? Or should I let it go since she has?

OP posts:
Katiesaidthat · 06/11/2024 10:31

I have a colleague in our US office whom I called Jasmin once, she corrected and told me it was Jasmeen. I do my best to call her name correctly. It is basic manners.

Jessie1259 · 06/11/2024 10:43

It's just rude of them to keep pronouncing her name incorrectly when they've been corrected several times. I think it sounds like we'd pronounce the word 'ever' so it's not that hard is it?

JKFan · 06/11/2024 12:01

Gialam · 06/11/2024 07:54

About 3 weeks ago a new person joined my team, she’s young this is her first real job and I can tell she’s worried about making a good impression.
She’s French-Italian, her name is Eva but pronounced Eh-vah instead of Ee-vah.
For the first few days she corrected people and most now say her name right but now 3 people continue to pronounce it wrong, one is my boss (so her bosses boss) and two are older members of our team.
I’ve been told I’m being pedantic in continuing to correct them especially as she has stopped.
AIBU to continue correcting how they say her name until the show her some respect and say it right? Or should I let it go since she has?

As someone who has a name which is common in Scotland, but rare in England (and who has lived in England my whole life) I feel I am in a good position to comment. I find the discussion at the outset of meeting new people about how to pronounce my name difficult. It puts the initial focus of conversations with clients and others in the wrong place. Recently I was at the front of a large meeting being congratulated on my appointment to a national role, but there was a (good natured) discussion on pronunciation (and the person chairing then came up with what he thought was correct and was a mangling I'd not come across up to now). The problem is that even though people get it right when I first tell them, they then go off and talk to other people who pronouce it incorrectly and veer off the path. I am used to answering to a couple of variations, neither of which is right.
Having said that, it is such a delight when my name is pronounced correctly that it irrationality puts that person in good favour with me.
I would certainly welcome support of those who do pronounce my name correctly to gently steer others in the right direction, either by a quiet correction or by example. Unfortnuately I think what is more likely to happen in my case is that the incorrect pronouncers will evangelise their understanding. With the name Eva however I think that is straightforward to give the right way. I do agree with PP that you should check with her if she is happy that you do so, as I can only give my personal take on what I would like.

banivani · 06/11/2024 12:24

I wouldn't go out of my way to correct other people, but I'd make sure to say it the way she wants it said all the time, and definitely try to fit the name into a sentence directly after a person had mispronounced it.

However, personally I've always considered it completely ok to pronounce names a little differently in different languages. My name is very very foreign in the country I live in and I accept most things, as long as people are giving it a shot. I'm annoyed when they're obviously not even trying. Like, I cared when I was a snotty teen for a bit, but I'm an adult now and realise I, too, don't say it completely "correctly" since I don't speak the original language my name is from.

Names that are the same in the different languages, like Eva, Alice, Peter, Maria, Jacob/Jakob, William, Dolores, Robert etc. I just pronounce they way they're said in the language I'm speaking. I'd respect if someone had strong feelings about it, but I don't think it's mispronouncing the name to say Eeva instead of Ehva. You're pronouncing it correctly in English. My children have names that work in three languages and we pronounce them all differently depending on the language. It's still the same name. I was brought up bilingual and this is how we always did it, and it was the same for my bilingual friends. You're Charles in English but you're Charles in French.

I mean even if you say Ehva you won't be saying it in pure Italian or French. (Which pronunciation is it she favours btw, they aren't the same in both languages? Edited: sorry, I see above you said French!) You'll be saying all the other vowels and consonants with an English twist. So it gets a bit pedantic. Like when people say Ibitha and Choritho. Nothing else in the word is in Spanish. Just the z!

flipdiddle81 · 06/11/2024 13:09

I bet she cringes every time the OP picks people up on her name

ThereBeDragoons · 06/11/2024 22:42

Gialam · 06/11/2024 09:23

Not the point but interesting people think it said like Ava?
to my ear Ava (ay like in lay), Eva (Ee like in Bee) and Eva (Eh like in bed) are all said differently?

To be honest I was just thinking the 'eh' you described was the long vowel like a capital 'A' really, like you might say 'eh' in a sort of slang way in various circumstances, often at the end of a rhetorical question (eg, 'it's not worth getting upset over, is it, eh?')

Totally see how it's also the short one and Eva can indeed go all three ways!

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