To not know how to be an adult

[Bongosbanjo]

Am an eejit with no idea how to deal with anything. I think a cat is the same as a child. I wash my towels forty times an hour. Am scared someone might actually ask me the time or some other innocous question. Please agree or I'll go in the huff

When I first saw this I read it as stupid bastard ex husband. My way is better I reckon 😂

Vinegar is cheating, you need to eat less and move more! 😄

dunno how ND id can be you confuse em with a cat...(i dont do cats/they dont need ya

Go and stand outside and get darked on. But avoid the spider willies. And while you're out there make sure you catch the people about to ring your front door bell, before they ring the front door bell. (You always need to Obey The Door Bell. Even if you just want to sit in your pants ignoring it because you aren't expecting anyone and dont want to speak to anyone.)

Ddog is a famous rapper, friends with Snoopy Ddog.

What did your family of origin teach you about rearing cats?

Has the cat whipped out The Script on you?

Go and see a lawyer for a free half an hour session, you must be careful when leaving this cat.

You must try the freedom programme, life free of the oppression of felines is amazing.

Women’s Aid don’t understand much about narcissistic feline abuse and coercive control, try to find a specialist therapist.

You should be able to watch trash telly all night if you want and go to bed whenever you like!

But do you have tattoos OP?

They make you look Dpoor, and Dchavvy

Tinkly laugh at the Dpoors

What consequences has the cat had?

Take away his phone and give him some chores.

I think you'll find it's called the Fleadom Programme when it applies to cats...

😾

Can the cat take in ironing? Or sell his old collars on Vinted (considering he'll need to contact HMRC to make them aware of this income)? You're not doing him any favours, he needs to learn to contribute to the household before he's 6'4" with hollow legs, catching mice at county level and eating his own weight in healthy carbs every day.

They not allowed to visit cos germs. I've logged it with 101, the fire brigade n brownies.

Are you permanently baffled?

He passed it when still in the womb. Exceptionally clever wee bugger

I think you need to start grey rocking the cat, it's clearly a narcissist.

Of course, our annual income is £2000, 0000 so although poor only the best. No hoi pollio with their slovenly ways, showering once a day and wearing clothes for longer than give minutes at a time

Clutching dpearls at mere thought of tattoos, they make my anxiety worse. Saw a man with tattoos last week, walking in my town, so called 999

You were obviously too taken aback at the time to think of anything to say, and stood there gaping like a recently landed fish.

I'll say this gently, but forty times an hour is just minging. Give your head a wobble and try not to be such a slattern in future.

But how often are you bathing the cat? Any more than once every six months will cause his skin to peel off. It doesn't matter if you can smell him from 300 ft away....any more than 2 baths a year means you are entirely responsible for the death of the planet.

I love my placid cat more than life itself. But should I get an XL Bully as some people say they're lovely?

Is your nose really sensitive and you can smell nasty chemical fabric softener within a two mile radius and it gives you a crippling migraine?