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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husbands never read a book

81 replies

MaybeItsBecauseImALodoner · 05/11/2024 20:41

Husbands 45 years old, hasn't read a book since leaving school. We were just talking about our upcoming child free week away. I plan to read lots on the sun lounger and I want to buy him something to read.
His Movie favourites are Sci Fi (The Matrix) and Horror, he's always watching videos on ghosts and aliens.
Any suggestions?

OP posts:
mitogoshigg · 05/11/2024 21:35

Perhaps non fiction, what's his interests?

Dp had a book which were stories where numbers being messed up had consequences, was interesting

MaybeItsBecauseImALodoner · 05/11/2024 21:36

Spondoolies · 05/11/2024 21:31

3 Body Problem is one of the best sci fi ever written imo, very complex, was sad to finish the trilogy. Michael Crichten (sci fi) and Dean Koontz ( horror with humour) also very good

Thanks I'll take a look

OP posts:
Heelworkhero · 05/11/2024 21:36

My DH never reads. He once asked for a book on his obsession/interest. I purchased it. He never even opened the first page - just purchased the audiobook himself.
I don’t buy him ‘stuff’ anymore - it’s pointless. Even the things he asks for, don’t get used.
He’s 50

MaybeItsBecauseImALodoner · 05/11/2024 21:37

@Seashellssanctuary
Yes he said he'd like to.

OP posts:
Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 05/11/2024 21:37

I like reading but find Stephen King too long winded.
Would he enjoy an autobiography op?

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 05/11/2024 21:38

Heelworkhero · 05/11/2024 21:36

My DH never reads. He once asked for a book on his obsession/interest. I purchased it. He never even opened the first page - just purchased the audiobook himself.
I don’t buy him ‘stuff’ anymore - it’s pointless. Even the things he asks for, don’t get used.
He’s 50

Same here - stuff just sits around gathering dust!

MiddleClassProblem · 05/11/2024 21:39

As a non reader a pile of books would mean I didn’t really get a present from my partner.

If he WANTS to read a book while away buy him one but as pp said audible and podcasts may serve him better.

If he likes sci fi he might like the Red Dwarf book which I believe is read by Chris Barrie on Audible.

minsmum · 05/11/2024 21:40

I would try him on Slough House by.Mick Herron, the slow horses books or the Rivers of London series by Ben Aaronovitch. Both are great fun

Brainstorm23 · 05/11/2024 21:40

I think you just need to accept that some people don't read for pleasure. My ex didn't read a book or even a newspaper the whole time we were together. I found it bizarre but it's just how they were so I gave up trying to change them.

Thamantha · 05/11/2024 21:41

My husband is also not a reader, but loves sci-fi. His gateway books have mostly been John Wyndham (Kraken Wakes, Day of the Triffids) and Harry Harrison's stainless steel rat. I agree with the previous poster who suggested golden age sci-fi stories are very accesible for men.

Robotnik · 05/11/2024 21:42

Ender's Game is a short and super readable sci-fi classic. Even if you've seen the film and therefore had the twist spoiled, the book is much better and still worth reading.

BadForBusiness · 05/11/2024 21:43

Spondoolies · 05/11/2024 21:31

3 Body Problem is one of the best sci fi ever written imo, very complex, was sad to finish the trilogy. Michael Crichten (sci fi) and Dean Koontz ( horror with humour) also very good

3 Body Problem is a fascinating book but I really wouldn't recommend it to a non-reader.

elastamum · 05/11/2024 21:50

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, he also wrote the Martian. Both great sci-fi and funny too.

Seashellssanctuary · 05/11/2024 21:56

MaybeItsBecauseImALodoner · 05/11/2024 21:37

@Seashellssanctuary
Yes he said he'd like to.

Great. I think autobiographys are good for the non reader. It instantly brings a connection and more likely to retain the interest

ForPearlViper · 05/11/2024 21:56

If he isn't interested why should he? Why try to make him? Some people just have other interests. My Dad never read books. He did read the newspaper but dropped that for 24 hours news. He was passionately interested in engineering and computers.

But one thing he might skim read was the biography of someone who really interested him.

PigeonTamer · 05/11/2024 21:57

BadForBusiness · 05/11/2024 20:42

The Martian is a gripping read for men who don't read a lot of novels.

My first thought too!

Perplexed20 · 05/11/2024 22:01

https://www.waterstones.com/author/ben-macintyre/132884 what about this?

The ghost stories book is Winter Spirit, i think.

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 05/11/2024 22:05

Mind-blown at people who haven’t read for decades!

What would he do by the pool if he wasn’t reading? Just lie there, thinking? Or not thinking?!

Anyway, maybe a Rebus novel or two? I’d imagine something plot driven without anything tricksy going on with form or language might be best.

EvelynBeatrice · 05/11/2024 22:06

John Wyndham’s The Midwich Cuckoos ( can watch tv series after reading if hasn’t already) or Day of the Triffids or Trouble with Lichen or the Chrysalids or Chocky all by the same author. My favourite sci-fi ever - very believable Earthbound and not hard going like say the Dune books which I also enjoy but undoubtedly hard going in parts.

Everydayimhuffling · 05/11/2024 22:10

Keep to short books, OP. And not a big pile. Maybe 3 short books total. You want him to succeed. I Am Legend is great and short

stayathomer · 05/11/2024 22:12

maybe not a pile- my db has the fabbest collection of books at home that we gifted him for years before realising he doesn’t actually read books! I’d say Lee Child is usually a good bet, or an old John Grisham or Patricia Cornwall.

stayathomer · 05/11/2024 22:13

Or the first book of Game of Thrones?

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 05/11/2024 22:13

MaybeItsBecauseImALodoner · 05/11/2024 21:21

We're going on a sit round the pool type holiday but child free. He just commented earlier that I tend to always have my nose stuck in a book on holiday and I suggested he give reading a go. I want to get him a pile of books for Christmas to take on holiday.

Why do you want to buy a non-reader a pile of books?

Would you buy a non-cyclist a load of bikes? Someone who doesn't enjoy watching films a load of cinema tickets?

This is about what you want, and you forcing your ideas on to him.

MaybeItsBecauseImALodoner · 05/11/2024 22:16

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 05/11/2024 22:05

Mind-blown at people who haven’t read for decades!

What would he do by the pool if he wasn’t reading? Just lie there, thinking? Or not thinking?!

Anyway, maybe a Rebus novel or two? I’d imagine something plot driven without anything tricksy going on with form or language might be best.

It baffles me too, I love the chance to chill out with a book. He mainly swims, gets out the pool, moans about the heat, gets back in the pool, falls asleep.

OP posts:
TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 05/11/2024 22:16

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 05/11/2024 22:05

Mind-blown at people who haven’t read for decades!

What would he do by the pool if he wasn’t reading? Just lie there, thinking? Or not thinking?!

Anyway, maybe a Rebus novel or two? I’d imagine something plot driven without anything tricksy going on with form or language might be best.

It really isn't that mind-blowing. I enjoy reading, but I get that it isn't everyone's priority. And I don't usually read much on holiday - why would I spend my precious holiday time doing something that I can do at home?

Maybe he listesn to podcasts, or music?
Maybe he doesn't sit around and instead swims in the pool?
Maybe he's someone who prefers to be walking around exploring, and checking out local culture?