To ask for some moral support?

[Scootscootwriggle]

I’m feeling really awful, panicky and anxious. I’m taking it minute by minute but it feels overwhelming.
I’ve felt like it to varying degrees for years and years but I’ve found out this week that I am being made redundant and against my backdrop of chaos over the last few years work has been my constant and something I’ve been very invested in.
I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone. Not my friends, my family, my partner or any possible future workplace.
I don’t like people IRL to help me so I feel like I am on my own.
I have tried to do focusing on positives and calming breathing but it’s not working for me. Everything has taken on a sinister feel - as it did when I had PND - and I feel like something dreadful is going to happen even though I don’t know what. The dark nights don’t help either.
I suppose I feel a bit like - what is the point of me?

This all sounds very difficult, redundancy can be a big shock, especially given what you say about

You ask what is the point of me? You are the only you, your value is immeasurable.

This stood out in your post I don’t like people IRL to help me so I feel like I am on my own - I don't suggest you can fix this today or quickly, but it isn't right as you are not on your own if you have friends, family and a partner.

Have you ever called Samaritans? They are there to listen to you, maybe speaking to someone would be helpful today.

You're doing the right thing taking it minute by minute and I completely understand how you feel as a fellow anxious person and general over thinker. There's nothing like uncertainly to make things seem even worse, so it's totally understandable that your feelings are heightened in the face of a redundancy. You do have things to offer - you wouldn't have friends, family and a loving partner in the first place if you didn't. Why do you feel you have to go it alone and can't talk to one of them? Again, I understand why you do that as I'm exactly the same, but talking things through with just one person can really help.
Very immediate things you can do that seem simple but can be very effective: run a hot bath and put the glass of wine down, if you're having a drink. The mental health forum on here is very helpful on here for tips, AIBU not so much.

Oh love. I get that feeling. I've had that feeling.
Can you get signed off for a week? Ask GP for anti-depressants?
Have a couple of Duvet Days then start a plan for job-hunting?
What do you currently do? What would you like to do?
Transferable skills?

Oh and your job does not define you.
It may have been a constant but you are employable - you will find something else. Please don't suffer alone. It's good to vent on here if you need to lovely.

It’s the thought of starting over as well. I’ve finally felt settled - I always feel like no one likes me and as though I’m useless - and I only felt like that maybe 50% of the time in this job.
I prefer people not to help me… I think this probably makes me quite frustrating as a partner and friend… but also what can anyone do? No one can do anything. My default is to assume I’m a hassle and it’s not fair to put extra stuff on other people who probably don’t like me anyway. My default is also to assume I’m useless and people are only nice to me out of pity, because really - why wouldn’t anyone choose to have me as a friend?
The sinister feeling is overwhelming. I describe it as a ‘living in an episode of casualty’ feeling. I know something dreadful is going to happen but Im not sure what yet.

Give yourself some time to be sad about the redundancy. If you’ve had chaotic times over the last while, take some time to rest. There will be other jobs. You have a point beyond your employment. And I hear you on not liking asking for help. It’s why I’ve found therapy really helpful.

The ‘sinister feeling’ is because you’re dysregulated. It’s frightening, but it’s no sign of anything. You’re right to try to calm your breathing.

I always feel like no one likes me and as though I’m useless
I prefer people not to help me
My default is to assume I’m a hassle and it’s not fair to put extra stuff on other people who probably don’t like me anyway
My default is also to assume I’m useless and people are only nice to me out of pity

All these feelings/thoughts you have about yourself are not right
I think it'd be good to seek support, from a counsellor or a friend, but these feelings/thoughts are not right.

I have been made redundant in the past

Update your CV
Ensure that you are provided with names, email address & phone numbers of your company that you can use as references. Also ask your manager & HR.

You will have transferable skills that you can use in another job.

You are allowed time off work, while you are still employed to go for interviews during work time

The day after you are made redundant, if you are in UK, you can claim job seekers allowance, it is not means tested for a certain time period.

https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance

Good luck

You're feeling foreboding as you're unsure of what the future holds. That is frightening. It feels threatening. It feels ominous. Your body is responding to that threat/uncertainty.
It may not feel like it right now OP but it will pass - you need a game plan/plan of action so you can feel more in control/control the narrative rather than let it control you. Make sure you have your references sorted/ask for testimonials if you need to. Seasonal jobs may still be available to keep you afloat temporarily/give you back some self-esteem.
Your partner, friends and family just need to be let in. Unless they're toxic, fairweather or estranged, they can be of use - even if it's a look over your CV, a steer or contact they might have in your industry, or acts of service (the latter is my love language, your partner could give you a whilst you sift through Indeed).