Son attending older friend's birthday party?

[OneDandyRoseLion]

Hi. Son is 14 and has just started 9th grade this September. I'm not from the UK if that matters. He became good friends with a girl (15) from his class over the summer (met on their class' WhatsApp group which was created right after high school admissions were over in July). Around the time high school had just started he meets and becomes friends with this guy, 18 - 12th grade, who is also his classmate's cousin. They all go to the same high school. This guy turns 19 on 22 November (yeah, he's old for a 12th grader, apparently his mom didn't want to send him to kindergarten until the year he turned 5, so he started 1st grade the year he turned 8), and has invited my son and obviously his cousin to his birthday party, which will be held on the 23rd out of town at his family's "weekend home" (in a place called Snagov, you can Google it, it's around a lake and stuff, about ~40 km away from where we live in the city). Son really wants to go but I don't feel super comfortable with the idea. What would you do?

It would be no from me

I grew up in a similar European country and hanging out with older kids is somewhat normal. I do, however, think 14 is a bit young for this. If your son was 15-16, I'd have no issues.

I'd be saying no, sorry x

No from me, sorry but too much of an age gap. IMO it wouldn’t be sensible to send him full well knowing what “most” 19year olds want to be doing. Having the weekend house to party it up with (maybe) alcohol drinks smoking drugs, I wouldn’t want my child put in a situation or around anything like that. I understand the cousin friendship but why would a 19year old want a 14 year olds at their party? The age gap doesn’t sit right with me. Also want to say even if they didn’t get involved in anything untoward, if they are there and something happened they are still apart of it just by being there. Wouldn’t risk it.

No I wouldn’t be comfortable with that- it’s far too big an age gap at their age and I’d find it a bit odd a 19 year old would want to hang out with a 14 year old. I have a 19 year old son and would find it extremely bizarre if he socialised with such a young teen.

Is he invited because he's the birthday lads friend, or is it more that he's the girl cousin's friend? Or possibly her boyfriend?

What sort of party is it? Loads of 18 Yr olds, or a family party?

The party was nearly 6 months ago!

Oh ffs...

Absolutely not. Really irresponsible to even think it's ok for him to go!