How to support bereaved friend - practical advice

[crochetmonkey74]

Hello my friend has had a very traumatic bereavement. I want to support her. I have read lots on here about not asking what to do, just doing it but I need some help in exactly HOW to do this. I know about dropping food off and will do that, likewise continuing to text each day etc. I can't do something like turn up and do the laundry without asking or send her off for a bath. She is in a neurodiverse house so things would stress her out more, likewise her children are ND so I can't just say I'll sit with them as they aren't comfortable with anyone beyond their parents.
What are things I can do practically that are respectful of boundaries but useful. So far I have food deliveries, regular messaging, I'll do regular cards and notes to keep contact. They don't have a garden so garden jobs are not an area I could help. Any insights? I'd really like to do this properly . Thank you in advance

I cooked some dinners and put them in foil trays so she could bang in the oven, or freeze them - lasagna, cottage pie, fish pie, chilli etc.

Caught up with her on the school run home and just put them under the pushchair and said I would call her soon

When I did call, I always asked if it was a good time, and whether she wanted me to just chat shite to take her mind off things, or listen to her

Day after the funeral I took her out and we got absolutely hammered on shots as that's what she wanted to do

I would have hated any of this when I was going through this. Sending me a text to say here if you need me meant the world to me. But if someone would have been trying to drop food or turn up unannounced, or dropping shopping off I'd have felt odd about that. I was delighted by my friends who just text to say sending love and if there's anything practical I can do like drop food etc please let me know. The ball was in my court then to say no thank you. But the offer still meant a lot.

I didnt like calls, much preferred texts. This is where you have to know what she prefers. Be guided by her.

Is there anything admin wise she could delegate that she just doesn't have brain space for now?

Car / house insurance renewal
Christmas shopping
Arrange MOT / service

If she won't delegate then these won't work but I've always got a list of research / internet type tasks that I'd love to get someone else on

You don’t say who has died, but if they are going to need to be sorting out a parents house/estate, particularly on her own then help there might be more appreciated than a food delivery. My DF died as the start of the year and a couple is school friends helped with sorting the garden there and another came and cleaned the carpets with a machine they hired from the supermarket which were both tasks that needed doing but felt somewhat overwhelming.

My adult dc died suddenly last month...I specified immediately no flowers, cards or religious platitudes " gone to better place" etc.
I don't want phone calls....messages/ WhatsApp is great.
My best things were a box of COOK meals, an Amazon voucher for books and a voucher for my local massage place.
I chat daily online to a great friend who is practical, funny and motivating.
Everyone is different and that's why
It's so hard to know what to do or say to people!