To think I should go back to work full time

[abonymousAnon]

I’ve been part time for nearly 8 years now (factoring in maternity 10 months for both kids). I feel I need to go back full time as I’m struggling a lot with my mental health and have noticed the days I work I feel happier compared to days I’m home I feel depressed. I also think it will be good for my weight as I hardly eat at work but on days off I binge. Of course extra money will be good. But why do I feel really upset at the prospect of going back full time. I know I’ve been very lucky to have been part time all these years. I e worked 3 days and full time will mean 5 days.

what would you do and can anyone understand why I’m feeling this way?

Because you are losing freedom to do what you want on your days off. Can't you try something else on those days like a group or class?

Any transition or change can bring on a sense of grieving?

Is there something underneath going on? A sadness that your children are getting older? That your time off is not as rewarding as you might have hoped?

Can you request to WFH those 2 days? Then you're still in home comforts but keeping your mind occupied. Plus it's that bit more flexible.

What about increasing to 4 days?

I’m not sure.

I agree that in general working helps your mental health, but when you’ve got children to look after there’s a tipping point when it all gets too stressful/exhausting and makes your mental health worse. I would have thought 3 days a week is a good balance.

Could you do something on your non working days that would boost your mental health, exercise being an obvious option?

I have just gone back to full time work. I was dreading it but it goes so quickly, the money is nice and I wasn’t productive on my day off and would usually just spend money doing something.

I moved up to full time by the time mine were near the end of primary school I stages. I still miss my Fridays off but I try to do most of my hours before then so they are lighter. Can you gradually increase your hours?

Thank you all. I work in a school so WFH is not possible. I think I could make it work on the 2 days I don’t work as I leave straight after work. I don’t make use of my days off tbh. It’s just cleaning and occasionally meeting people for coffee. Most of the school mums work FT so they are never around so it can get a bit lonely. The extra money will mean we can do more stuff as a family too.

If you work in a school do you get school holidays off? If so even working 5 days a week it's usually only 6/7 weeks before you get a week off - obviously the kids are off too but it's still a break from work. In your situation I'd say go for it, will keep you busier, happier and more money!

I do 4 days. Highly recommend!

Is it about identity, do you think?

I..e. you have built your identity around being part time mum, in charge at home, this would disrupt that?

It sounds like it's worth a try.

yes I would have the holidays off which is nice! I just feel I don’t have any time to myself which is silly as I have 2 days off! I’m really confused what to do and obviously I will have less time for myself. I just feel I have to really watch the pennies. I don’t have a joint back account with DH so I can only really spend what I have on the kids through my work