To block my brother on FB?

[Oodiks]

The last time we spoke was in 2017 at a Thanksgiving meal at my mum's house. He got drunk and mad at me and my (now ex) husband after the guests had left and ended up screaming at my mum in the wee small hours triggering my daughter's trichotillomania.

There was some back and forth over email and he said he needed a break from me. To be honest, I was relieved by this as I'd spent too many years brushing his outrageous behavior under the carpet because my mum insisted on 'family' events.

Since then I’ve moved to the States and only visited the UK a couple of times. We have not met. Every now and then he picks up the phone when I call my mum, I ask how he is, he says, “I’ll get mum”…

Now, suddenly he’s tagging me on FB to restart old arguments about the Israel/Palestine issue and whether his insistent questioning of my Jewish ex husband over related issues was or was not antisemitic.

Should I just block him?

YABU - don’t block him
YANBU - block him

One of the 'points' in his email is that he sent me a letter a few years ago when I was visiting the UK and I asked my mum if that was at her instigation.

I've been gob smacked at what he's managed to use against me in the past.

Block

My concern is that if I block him on FB, he'll harass me more by email, and if I block him on email, he may not communicate with me if there is something I need to know about my mum's health etc.

My mum's family (2 living sisters, 1 living brother, numerous cousins &c) are all here in the US, so he's possibly my only nearby contact if anything happens to her.

Can't you try and agree to avoid discussions on those topics for both your mental healths? Why is it imperative to both of you that you have the same outlook? I get these are big issues but is there anyway you can establish conversational boundaries?

FWIW, he sounds like he is abusive and has an alcohol problem. And you wouldn't get anywhere without him T least showing some concessions to that.

*at least

So, the saga continues. I messaged my Mum to ask if he was okay as it's out of character for him to be tagging me on FB after 7 years. Her response was that the Israel/Palestine issue was important to the US elections. I agreed but commented that I didn't know what that had to do with him suddenly contacting me to start up an old argument.

Nothing further from him but my mum and I talk on Sundays (my morning, her evening) and, this week, the whole conversation was 'off' so eventually I raised the issue of my brother suddenly contacting me and got a barrage of accusations about all my wrong doings and failings.

I hung up on her and that would be that, but I currently owe her money, and it would be a disaster if I had to pay it back right now, so I've had to capitulate to both of them.

I am, as my grandmother would say, spitting pink chips about it.