Friend asked me to make a wedding bolero

[Farahto]

Hi everyone,

A friend of mine asked me to knit her a bolero jacket for her wedding.
I agree and as soon as I get a fabric sample of her dress, I start hunting for wool.

From July to half of October, we are in conversation about the colour, the pattern etc. She is someone who is very bad at making decisions and doubts everything.

First, she wants a blue bolero. So I make her a sample in blue wool. A week after I finish it (before she's seen it), she texts me that she doesn't want blue anymore, but she wants white.

I knit her three samples in white and she is unable to choose. Together with some friends, and with my advice (because I think it might help her if I'm more assertive given the lack of her decision-making), we settle on a pattern.

I go wool hunting. Which is not easy because the supply chain for that specific colour is difficult. I finally find a supplier which can deliver just in time for me to finish the bolero. I inform her of all of this + I say to her that it's fine if she still changes her mind before I order. Since we don't live in the same country, she would only be able to test the bolero a short time before the wedding, so I completely understand if she would feel safer with something she can test. She's fine with me making the bolero.

I then have problems with the supplier, but find another one. I inform her of the change in price and ask for final confirmation from her with this new pricing information. She starts doubting again and asks me if she can dye the bolero after her wedding to use for general use. After some texting back and forth, she finally says it's okay. I order the wool and start knitting the bolero.

A week in, she texts me with the question of whether it's likely I will be able to send the wool back to the supplier.

(I explode with anger) and I text her that I can send the unused wool back, but that I have already used 3 balls of wool, which amounts to x GPB. She texts me back that she saw another beautiful jacket and that she is still in doubt. (I explode again).

Is it unreasonable of me to ask and/or expect her to pay me back that amount for the used wool? I don't think she is aware of all the time and effort I've already put in to her project, and she also very very difficult with money, so I'm really dreading this. That's why I wanted to check if it's unreasonable of me to ask it back.

She has behaved appallingly. Insist on the money you are owed and refuse to do any more knitting for her. She is taking you for a mug, sorry, or has zero appreciation of the time and care taken to knit to a high standard.

Tell her you have been messed around so much that you give up. She owes you £ for the wool and £ for your time.

Send back the wool and cut your losses. Hopefully she'll see you right for what you've lost in the purchase. Any more requests to make something say thanks but no thanks. She sounds her own worst enemy.
The value of a (probably quite complicated) hand knit is of course way more than cost of materials, if that was your gift to her fair enough but she clearly doesn't see how much work and effort she's messing about with.

When you run a craft service, you tend to offer 2-3 adjustments to the design, not when the materials have been purchased or at least once you start making the product. You have to charge for samples if you are making them client specific. So you need to tell her that nothing else can be changed and charge for all the materials used plus your time. Add on extra to give you a profit or at least cover unexpected costs. Ensure that you have the correct postage and tax amount that may be applied. Send her a picture of the finished goods and say no more adjustments can be made. Do not send it without receiving payment.

This

Type it up on a nice invoice

After some texting back and forth, she finally says it's okay. I order the wool and start knitting the bolero. it's at this point she owes you and I hope she isn't expecting you to come to the wedding

After some texting back and forth, she finally says it's okay. I order the wool and start knitting the bolero. it's at this point she owes you and I hope she isn't expecting you to come to the wedding

A wool bolero for a wedding was always going to be a risk. It does usually just look frumpy. I’d have got her to send the money before ordering any wool just in case she did change her mind and see something more elegant.

What was her reaction when you exploded? Was she apologetic?

Not surprised you're fuming tbh. She sounds like a complete nightmare. What an absolute waste of your time and money.

haha, I exploded in a controlled environment. The text I sent her was just very short and stern about the cost of the three balls that I couldn't recover. But she's not a very apologetic person and also hasn't answered back re the amount. I think she also isn't aware of the work and time and effort it takes to make something like that, which contributes to her no being able to apologetic

I'm so sorry, she clearly doesn't deserves beautiful hand made item.

Yes, I also clearly mentioned that risk to her. I also didn't want to charge in advance, because I wasn't sure how many balls I would need for the bolero, so was going to charge before I sent it to her

It's my first handmade item I'm actually making and selling to someone, so I have no experience with this. I was only going to ask for the yarn cost because it's my first item and because she's a friend

I think at this point I'd have to say to her that she still seems very undecided about what she wants and due to the time it takes to make it's best she looks for an off the shelf jacket. Return the unused yarn and either ask for the money for the time and yarn used so far after the wedding when things have calmed down or let it go. I can't see this going well (through no fault of your own) and you don't deserve that. 💐

Why did you let it get this far?