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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked not to wear a Rolex to work…

407 replies

Hydrangeajp · 04/11/2024 17:22

I've been with my current company for several years in a senior legal role, managing a team. The company's struggling lately - redundancies, pay freezes, and bonus cuts. My own manager recently left, and their replacement (board level), joined last week. After a positive initial face-to-face meet, she scheduled a meeting later that week about the Rolex watch she noticed me wearing into the office.

She told me it was inappropriate and insensitive, given both my seniority and the company’s current situation, and ultimately requested that I stop wearing it to work. She essentially said that "most senior staff already know to avoid wearing expensive, flashy items to work”.

I’ve had this watch for years and wear it daily. I’ve never given it any thought and would think most people wouldn’t even notice it's a Rolex. Am I the completely deluded and inappropriate one here? I was so taken aback and put on the spot that I simply agreed not to wear it, but since then I can't stop thinking I should’ve stood my ground (not because I’m desperate to wear the watch, rather, the whole ask felt excessive and inappropriate?) WWYD? I’d really appreciate an honest outsider’s perspective.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
MorrisZapp · 04/11/2024 18:21

Oh for the love of god MNHQ! I'll never be fed a straight line like that again.

viques · 04/11/2024 18:22

I would ask to see the contents of her make up bag. Simple or MAC moisturiser ? 4711 or Chanel perfume ? Charlotte Tilbury lippy or Boots own lip gloss?

OhTediosity · 04/11/2024 18:23

Incidentally, the multiple posters who think this woman might be jealous may be interested to know that they mean she is envious. Jealousy is the fear that someone will take something that you own; envy is the desire to own someone else's possession.

lasagnelle · 04/11/2024 18:23

OhTediosity · 04/11/2024 18:23

Incidentally, the multiple posters who think this woman might be jealous may be interested to know that they mean she is envious. Jealousy is the fear that someone will take something that you own; envy is the desire to own someone else's possession.

Thank you every day is a school day

user1494050295 · 04/11/2024 18:24

Are you the only employee wearing a Rolex ? Do any small colleagues wear one or a similarly expensive watch? And have they been asked a similar request?

LBFseBrom · 04/11/2024 18:25

I think she has a cheek - and is far too eagle eyed for my taste. It wouldn't occur to me, or most people, to scrutinise someone's watch.

Is she jealous?

NigelHarmansNewWife · 04/11/2024 18:25

Bonkers. I guarantee male partners will have equally, if not more expensive, watches they wear to work (very common present to self for first big deal completed for lawyers), bespoke suits, shoes, etc. Not to mention anyone could be wearing expensive jewellery such as diamond engagement and eternity rings, it just doesn't doesn't have the brand on the face of it. A Rolex isn't flashy: unless you're into them you wouldn't even notice.

I think I'd ask for clarification of the dress code. This smacks of someone trying to put you in your place in a weird way. Watch your back.

category12 · 04/11/2024 18:25

user1494050295 · 04/11/2024 18:24

Are you the only employee wearing a Rolex ? Do any small colleagues wear one or a similarly expensive watch? And have they been asked a similar request?

What about big colleagues?

Derbee · 04/11/2024 18:26

Fuck, what next? Shoes over a certain value? Hell would freeze over before I stopped wearing my watch in those circumstances

ABirdsEyeView · 04/11/2024 18:26

It's not the OPs fault that the business is making redundancies. It's a fact of life that certain jobs are very well paid - not wearing her watch to work, doesn't change that fundamental fact! Does your new boss think that the staff are stupid and what they don't see won't hurt them?

If the company is so worried about the optics of their behaviour, the best place to start is with wage increases, minimal redundancies and good payments to those who are losing their jobs. The Rolex is neither here nor there.

Hope your new boss doesn't rock up to work in an expensive car. And as pp have said, what's next, engagement rings? I'd certainly be noting tomorrow what watches and cars the other senior staff are turning up in.

I think this is something I would bite back on - it's inappropriate for her to have asked you this and I'd be taking it up with HR. If there's no formal dress policy in your contract, outlining the specifics, I'd say she was seriously overstepping and I'd be dealing with this formally.

Topseyt123 · 04/11/2024 18:26

I think you should just continue to wear it. I would.

If she brings it up again I'd tell her that it was none of her business, it's an elderly Rolex, you've worn it without issues for many years and see no reason to stop now.

Oblomov24 · 04/11/2024 18:27

I too can't believe this. What about expensive jewellery? Make women take off their engagement rings. I have 3 platinum rings - engagement,wedding,eternity. Would that bother her. I can't believe you backed down.

category12 · 04/11/2024 18:27

LBFseBrom · 04/11/2024 18:25

I think she has a cheek - and is far too eagle eyed for my taste. It wouldn't occur to me, or most people, to scrutinise someone's watch.

Is she jealous?

It might not be that she spotted it - it's possible people have been griping about it.

I think the context of redundancies, frozen pay and cut bonuses is quite important. Especially if OP is delivering those messages to her team.

Lemonadeand · 04/11/2024 18:28

Turn up barefoot and dressed in rags.

TTPDTS · 04/11/2024 18:28

Honestly I'd have told her no - I wear mine to work all the time, I'm not personally representing the companies finances.

If people have noticed it, they'll already be aware you have a Rolex. I'm not sure if she thinks your colleagues are stupid enough to think that Sandra in accounts getting made redundant was because you have a Rolex?! 😂

ladykale · 04/11/2024 18:28

What a ridiculous post.

Maybe someone has family money, a partner with money, other income sources or sold a successful business prior to starting the specific role.

Not allowed to carry a bag to work which cost more than a grand or two?

The attitude at work is like the current Labour govenrment - everyone must bring themselves down to the lowest common denominator to appease others.

Crazy

ladykale · 04/11/2024 18:29

Sorry not a ridiculous post - a ridiculous ask from the manager I meant!

user1494050295 · 04/11/2024 18:29

category12 · 04/11/2024 18:25

What about big colleagues?

Apologies. Mean to say male colleagues

WhimsicalGubbins76 · 04/11/2024 18:29

I kind of get their point (or the point that they rather cackhandedly attempted to make) but I still think it’s ludicrous. For a start, I wouldn’t call a Rolex “flashy”, I’d call it classy, or classic. Secondly, wearing a Rolex does NOT determine wealth, lots of people save for years or they were gifted as a milestone birthday present (or could even have been inherited) Thirdly, you shouldn’t have to watch what you wear because of redundancies. What do they think would be appropriate? Sell your Rolex and fill in their financial black hole with the proceeds?
Have they all started driving bangers to work? Removed their engagement rings if it’s any bigger than 1/4 carat?? Where does it end?
If you hadn’t been put on the spot you probably would have stood your ground

Thouroguishillnurturedbarnacle · 04/11/2024 18:30

Bizarre.

Oblomov24 · 04/11/2024 18:31

I disagree with @Magnastorm. In redundancy their car and suit, if they've worn them for years makes no difference. Only the lunches should've stopped temporarily.

Coolasfeck · 04/11/2024 18:32

UpUpUpU · 04/11/2024 17:32

This wins the internet today!

Can someone please write the original quote which got deleted. I know it will be deleted again but I need to see what everyone’s laughing about!

MellersSmellers · 04/11/2024 18:32

Well, it sounds like she handled it badly, but I completely understand the sentiment. In the context of redundancies and pay freezes I would agree it's insensitive to wear clearly very expensive items. You can start wearing it again when the dust has settled.

WonderingWanda · 04/11/2024 18:32

Maybe stop wearing the watch but see if you can borrow or rent a supercar for the day and park it next to hers!

DieDreiHexen · 04/11/2024 18:33

Thanks OP for reminding me why I'm self employed.
Couldn't be doing with that nonsense.

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