DD 4.5 says she doesn't like her dad or grandma

[tennisR]

I don't really get it. She usually loves her grandma and her dad.

Is this just an age thing ? What's the appropriate way to respond ?

My mum was visiting for a couple of weeks and the last week, DD kept asking her not to come with us when we were going out. She was excited when she left. Same with my dad actually, come to think of it. She'd be upset if he came in the car to drop her off at school.

This weekend she did the same thing about her dad, she asked me if her dad was home and I said ' no he's working ' and she jumped up and down and said ' yay '.

When I ask her why she doesn't like someone, she says stuff like ' because they're boring ' or ' because their voice is too loud ':

She says I'm not boring or loud.

I explained that she can tell me if she doesn't like someone but it's hurtful to say it to people directly. We went out to someone's house and she said she didn't like their juice and I also explained how she can tell me privately but it's rude to say it to someone who has prepared root for her etc.

Any idea what this is about and if I'm handling it well ? Thank you

It's likely because the attention was taken from her and onto your mum and dad.

When my youngest was little he went through a phase of not being that keen on grandma because when we saw her I had to spend time talking with her etc.. and he didn't get my full attention. He was pleased when we'd go home and could chat away in the car and have my full attention again.

I solved it by making an effort to spend a whole morning focussed on him doing exciting things related to grandma (eg. Wed make a cake for grandma, or a bracelet etc.. we'd go out to.punch together and choose cakes for grandma to take with us etc..) and then I'd explain that we'd had a lovely morning just us and now I'd need to spend time.with grandma and won't be able to.fpcus.on him, but when we get home we will.chat together about all the things we did at Grandma's etc..

So basically, I'd try and give.morw attention before and after grandma and get him.excited to go, and chat positively after. Seemed to do the trick!

Are they loud? Some kids really don't like things that are too loud. That could potentially be a practical solution.

Otherwise I agree, she does need to be taught that sometimes the things that you say can be hurtful. I think that's the right way to handle it.

Perhaps your little one likes it being just you and her as then your attention is focused on her? I think it's probably that if she's used to your undivided attention. It's something that little children often struggle with, for example if you have a friend round and you're chatting, they will often interrupt because your attention isn't on them, or when you're on the phone! Maybe 2 weeks was a bit long for a visit from your mum and a week would have been better? It's a change to your DDs normal routine and that can be unsettling for some children.

These are great insights thank you. I do think it's that.

She's always interrupting when I'm speaking to other adults. Suddenly both of my kids are all over me and start shouting for attention. It's exhausting, but I'm sure it's totally normal.

When it's just me and my kids at home, they usually leave me be and play their on their own or watch some TV. When we have people over, they are always wanting my attention.

It didn't used to be like this until recently. Until recently she used to cry when my mum left. She's quite used to having my mum here or being with my mum. For over a month sometimes. But it's the first time she's said she doesn't like her etc