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Original poster

Friend asking for dog food 'compensation'

705 replies

dogbiscuitsareforlife · 04/11/2024 10:43

What do you make of this.

One of my school mum friends, (I'll call her Mary) has a dog and we often bump into each other out for dog walks and walk along together. Not super close, but chatty and friendly

Last week Mary told me she had been let down by a dog sitter for a holiday. She couldn't find anyone so I offered to help. Our dogs get on well and I'm used to having more than one, although at the moment only have one. She asked how much I'd charge but I said no bother just provide his usual food and treats, which she did. Her dogs food is a superior top end brand to the food I give mine.

All was great whilst we had him, but when feeding, the dogs seemed to favour each others food and swapped between bowls. I didn't think too much of it but did mention it to one of the other mums at the school gates in a jokey way, saying my dog obviously preferred the more expensive brand to the supermarket stuff I provided. Whereas her dog really liked the cheaper stuff.

Mary has obviously been told and today asked me if I fed my dog her dogs food. I was a bit taken aback but explained the above and of course I did give her dog its own food but sometimes dogs want what the other dog has.

She was very cold and told me to compensate her for any tins I gave my dog as she wasn't there to provide for my animal! I'm totally bemused, I saved her £100's in dog sitting fees and although I'm not now going to charge her she must see she is totally unfair.

Or am I wrong and should I buy a pack of 4 tins to give her. My DH says ignore but I don't want bad feeling.

OP posts:
Obimumkinobi · 04/11/2024 11:58

I agree with other posters that the school gates bitches have gone to town on this. I very much doubt they repeated verbatim your casual jokey comment and the opening line was probably akin to catching your husband with another woman, "it's not my place and I don't want to cause any trouble but I thought you had the right to know that Dog Biscuits has been stealing your dog food and then laughing about what a mug you are!"

Whilst I'd instinctively want to tell Mary to piss off, I'd be inclined to attempt to be the bigger person, and try and have a coffee and sort it out. She sounds a tough customer but unless your time at "the gates" is nearly over, it's worth at least trying to clear the air for the sake of your kids. Good luck!

Kisskiss · 04/11/2024 11:58

dogbiscuitsareforlife · 04/11/2024 10:43

What do you make of this.

One of my school mum friends, (I'll call her Mary) has a dog and we often bump into each other out for dog walks and walk along together. Not super close, but chatty and friendly

Last week Mary told me she had been let down by a dog sitter for a holiday. She couldn't find anyone so I offered to help. Our dogs get on well and I'm used to having more than one, although at the moment only have one. She asked how much I'd charge but I said no bother just provide his usual food and treats, which she did. Her dogs food is a superior top end brand to the food I give mine.

All was great whilst we had him, but when feeding, the dogs seemed to favour each others food and swapped between bowls. I didn't think too much of it but did mention it to one of the other mums at the school gates in a jokey way, saying my dog obviously preferred the more expensive brand to the supermarket stuff I provided. Whereas her dog really liked the cheaper stuff.

Mary has obviously been told and today asked me if I fed my dog her dogs food. I was a bit taken aback but explained the above and of course I did give her dog its own food but sometimes dogs want what the other dog has.

She was very cold and told me to compensate her for any tins I gave my dog as she wasn't there to provide for my animal! I'm totally bemused, I saved her £100's in dog sitting fees and although I'm not now going to charge her she must see she is totally unfair.

Or am I wrong and should I buy a pack of 4 tins to give her. My DH says ignore but I don't want bad feeling.

give her 4 tins and then ask her for dog sitting fees 🤣

Noisylass · 04/11/2024 11:59

What the hell have I just read what an ungrateful arse . I have just had to put my baby little terrier to sleep on sat so I am still very raw . She should be grateful that you did her a favour pa give your dogs a cuddle from me

WeAllHaveWings · 04/11/2024 11:59

Don't try to explain what happened any further, don't apologise, be confident you don't need to, just tell her the truth.

I am disappointed, shocked and actually quite upset, I offered to do you a huge favour which saved you a fortune and that is the thanks I get. You can take it off what you have saved in boarding fees. I won't make the mistake of offering to help out again.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 04/11/2024 12:01

She's barking mad, OP.

SalviaDivinorum · 04/11/2024 12:01

Oh good grief - I've dog sat for dogs on different foods too and they always think the other dog has the better dinner!

I feed mine on a super premium brand but she will pig out in delight on Bakers!

Provided neither is on a special diet I see no harm in it. I certainly wouldn't be offering again. No good deed goes unpunished as they say

Fireworknight · 04/11/2024 12:02

I paid £40 a night for someone to house sit my dogs. How much does four cans compare to that?

MitchellMummy · 04/11/2024 12:02

I'd give her the tins. In front of the school gate audience. With a joke about daily dog sitter rates ...

Dotto · 04/11/2024 12:03

You're not the one creating a bad feeling. Don't give her anything. I'd ignore her now unless she apologises.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/11/2024 12:03

I might ask her exactly what she’s been told first of all, in case something has been lost in the telling.

But she also sounds like an ungrateful cow! Did she buy you any gifts for doing this?

NunyaBeeswax · 04/11/2024 12:05

"here's your four tins, don't ask for a favour again, get fucked you cunt."

What an arsehole.

SmileyHappyPeopleInTheSun · 04/11/2024 12:05

Obimumkinobi · 04/11/2024 11:58

I agree with other posters that the school gates bitches have gone to town on this. I very much doubt they repeated verbatim your casual jokey comment and the opening line was probably akin to catching your husband with another woman, "it's not my place and I don't want to cause any trouble but I thought you had the right to know that Dog Biscuits has been stealing your dog food and then laughing about what a mug you are!"

Whilst I'd instinctively want to tell Mary to piss off, I'd be inclined to attempt to be the bigger person, and try and have a coffee and sort it out. She sounds a tough customer but unless your time at "the gates" is nearly over, it's worth at least trying to clear the air for the sake of your kids. Good luck!

This - you've no idea what they actually said to her - and it does come across as they've blown it all up.

Also agree with second half if near end of school pick ups let it go - if you've years of glares etc try and clear air - but make it clear you won't be saving her boarding costs again.

Blondiney · 04/11/2024 12:06

This can’t be real, surely? Are people really this petty?

BlueMoanday · 04/11/2024 12:08

@dogbiscuitsareforlife have you answered her?
I'm with the others in the DO NOT PAY team.

I would ask her what the kennels (that let her down) were charging and if she would do the same to them?
Cheeky mare!

Butchyrestingface · 04/11/2024 12:09

OMG.

And I'd also be a bit wary of the shit stirrer who went telling tales/tails.

Brombat · 04/11/2024 12:12

No good deed goes unpunished.

I'd be so grateful if someone looked after my dogs, she's bonkers to piss you off with being so utterly mean.

Kingsleadhat · 04/11/2024 12:13

twomanyfrogsinabox · 04/11/2024 10:59

I would hope she was joking but if not:

Give her half the difference (in cash) between the two brands preferably in small change. And explain her dog ate it's own food about half the time but also ate your dogs food about half the time, and tell her you have figured it out as accurately as you can but if she would like to do a recalculation with different assumptions about relative amounts eaten to feel free.

This. You sound lovely and she sounds bloody awful x

wheretoyougonow · 04/11/2024 12:13

Ask her to replace the tins that her dog stole from yours.....

stealthsquirrelnutkin · 04/11/2024 12:13

I'd tell her to deduct the cost of the dog food from the money she is now going to be paying you for boarding her dog.

Richiewoo · 04/11/2024 12:14

Tell her to get lost. You don't owe her anything.

Fizbosshoes · 04/11/2024 12:15

Unless the dog suffered ill effects, from eating the different food, she should be glad of the revelation that she can save a fortune in dog food and thus save enough to pay the going rate next time!

Itstakingtoolong · 04/11/2024 12:16

Give her an invoice for your services , deduct £100 as a goodwill gesture and see what happens

TheHangingGardensOfBasildon · 04/11/2024 12:16

CustardCreams2 · 04/11/2024 11:33

Who was the stirrer that told her. She probably riled your friend up, saying how bad it is your dog stole her dogs food. Regardless, you’ve saved her a huge amount on sitting fees, so she has no right to say anything either way. Don’t do her a favour again

Even if they did frame it that way, animals act on instinct and they hardly 'steal' in the same way that a human might; as in taking something that you know somebody else paid for/owns but that you deliberately decide to deprive them of without recompense for your own selfish benefit.

At any rate, neither dog actually stole the other's food really - they shared/swapped their combined provisions and, presumably, neither went hungry.

Freydo · 04/11/2024 12:17

FFS how rude and entitled your so called friend is. Next time let her sort and pay for care.

Maybe get her some dog food but invoice her for your dog’s food that her dog ate and use of your home. Also extras like walks and playing that kennels charge for.

dizzydizzydizzy · 04/11/2024 12:18

Mary should be thanking you not complaining.

It was very kind of you to look after Mary's dog. I wouldn't bother again.

If Mary mentions compensation again, you need to speak to her firmly. Something like "Mary, I saved you £100s in kennel fees, so I'm not paying you compensation."