Friend asking for dog food 'compensation'

[dogbiscuitsareforlife]

What do you make of this.

One of my school mum friends, (I'll call her Mary) has a dog and we often bump into each other out for dog walks and walk along together. Not super close, but chatty and friendly

Last week Mary told me she had been let down by a dog sitter for a holiday. She couldn't find anyone so I offered to help. Our dogs get on well and I'm used to having more than one, although at the moment only have one. She asked how much I'd charge but I said no bother just provide his usual food and treats, which she did. Her dogs food is a superior top end brand to the food I give mine.

All was great whilst we had him, but when feeding, the dogs seemed to favour each others food and swapped between bowls. I didn't think too much of it but did mention it to one of the other mums at the school gates in a jokey way, saying my dog obviously preferred the more expensive brand to the supermarket stuff I provided. Whereas her dog really liked the cheaper stuff.

Mary has obviously been told and today asked me if I fed my dog her dogs food. I was a bit taken aback but explained the above and of course I did give her dog its own food but sometimes dogs want what the other dog has.

She was very cold and told me to compensate her for any tins I gave my dog as she wasn't there to provide for my animal! I'm totally bemused, I saved her £100's in dog sitting fees and although I'm not now going to charge her she must see she is totally unfair.

Or am I wrong and should I buy a pack of 4 tins to give her. My DH says ignore but I don't want bad feeling.

I'd just say "I think there's been a misunderstanding. I fed your dog the food you provided, and my dog it's usual food. They decided to share with each other but I didn't see any need to separate them while they ate as they were both happy with the situation."

She'd be getting her fucking tins of poxy dog food back for sure - after they'd been through my own dog's digestive system!

Obviously I'm kidding, but I would give her the tins. It would be a good opportunity to point out what an arsehole she is as you hand them over. 'Here's your tins, you absolute clown. You'll be paying for kennels as well as food in future'.

As for 'not wanting bad feeling', unfortunately you've already got it. So you might as well deal with it and enjoy having the last word.

Dogs (in general) always think "the grass is greener" and routinely eat each other's food on that basis.
I'd just work out the difference in cost between this obviously 'oh so special's food and yours give her that since her dog ate your dog's food.I'd also tell the ungrateful wretch in no uncertain terms that you won't be helping her out anytime in the future.

You absolutely can give her the tins of hers that you fed your dog: 0, because you did not feed the food to your dog. You already explained it to her. Is she stupid? You put the dogs' food down and they ate what they wanted.
I cannot believe the audacity and cheek.
I do think you should clarify that you were avoiding her because she's pissed you off rather than her thinking it's from any sense of guilt.
Common courtesy would dictate a gift and an offer of financial recompense in line with what she would've paid the sitter who let her down imo. I have no idea why she thinks otherwise.
Others have suggested messages or what to say or who to. Some great advice there already.

By the fact that you deliberately avoided her OP, I'm guessing that you're dreading any confrontation?

If that's the case, write her a note telling her that you willingly helped her out at the last minute by having her dog, thereby saving her £100's, because you thought she was a friend. However, the fact that she has requested that you replace the food that your dog ate, when the dogs chose to swap, shows her that you are nothing of the sort, and in future you want nothing further to do with her. Put it through her door, and let her chew the bones out of that, as dog food is obviously so important to her!

Personally I'd be quite tempted to hand her a ziploc bag containing a couple of tablespoons of ££ dog food and tell her you've tried to give her exactly what your dog had out of her dog's bowl

Yes, this!

Her attitude isn't going to Winnalot of (Pedigree or otherwise) Chums if she keeps it up. She's lucky to have any Pals at all.

Not surprised your DH also isn't a very happy Chappie.

Don’t hand her tins! It needs to be a partial tin in a ziplock bag or envelope of loose change to highlight her pettiness!

You took care of her dog for free. Pet care is really expensive (speaking from experience). Tell her you’ll give her the tins if she pays for the pet care (at least £25 per day).

She really is a CF.

I understand that you may not want any confrontation, so I would send her a text that says something along the lines of

Hi Mary, I fed our dogs at the same time & they ate each others food a few times, it's not a big deal, they all do this from time to time.

I'm not going to be re-imbersing you any dog food - you seem to have forgotten that I looked after Fido for you at no cost, saving you lots of money on sitter fees & I won't make myself out of pocket for doing you a favour.

I don't want there to be any bad feeling between us, so lets say no more about it & move on.

I'd do this. Except I'd give her the money as a cheque and not cash, to be extra petty. I wouldn't start trying to invoice her for the dog-sitting, but if she ever asked for another dog-care favour it wouldn't be convenient.

I’d tell her you feel very taken advantage of

hahaha brilliant 😂

This. This is perfect

Definitely hand over the tins in front of everyone. And then quietly thank her for the gift she left for you by your front door. And then watch her face.

Hand over the tins and explain loudly to her, so everyone knows what has happened, and she can’t tell people you stole her dog’s food!

This woman is barking mad… let her loose and don’t pursue the friendship

£40 a day with overnight stay round my way!

What a bell end. Don't worry about there being bad feeling between you - she clearly isn't! I would wait until she brings it up again and then say, "What? Are you being serious about that? I house, walk and feed your do for X days and you think I owe you money?!"

Walk away and let that be the last thing you say to her.

The above response is spot on.

If you saw her but didn't speak to her, and are considering giving her the dog food tins, I am guessing you want to avoid a confrontation. Unfortunately, she may interpret that as guilt/admission that you took her dog's food.

Do NOT give her the tins! Unbelievable!

If it were me and you might want her to mind your dog sometimes I'd be saying to Mary 'here's what I estimate the cost of what my dog ate of your food minus what your dog ate of my food'.
Then add 'they are dogs after all. I guess if you had wanted your dog to eat alone you might have mentioned that. I just let them both eat at the same time and turned out they both found each other's food a novelty. Hope this doesn't affect things because I'm sure we both agree it is very handy to have free dog sitting with a friend you can trust'.

This! You'll be out of pocket and she'll have had free dog sitting and free food! I wonder what exactly the other woman said to her for her to have had the nerve to ask for it.

Hi @dogbiscuitsareforlife I can’t believe she is being such a CF when you went out of your way to help her! I would not be buying her any tins. And would point out why I was not and the fact that you will not be helping her out again.

Despite my earlier response about handing her a couple of spoonfuls of dog food...

I am curious to know exactly what the other school Mum said to her... I think she's got the impression that your dog ate just her dogs food, the whole time her dog was with you...and her dog ate yours.

It makes no sense of course that you're some high end dog food chancer as you gave back the remaining tins... but it might explain things a little if she doesn't realise it was just a mouthful here and there rather than a deliberate choice to give your dog her dogs food.