Friend asking for dog food 'compensation'

[dogbiscuitsareforlife]

What do you make of this.

One of my school mum friends, (I'll call her Mary) has a dog and we often bump into each other out for dog walks and walk along together. Not super close, but chatty and friendly

Last week Mary told me she had been let down by a dog sitter for a holiday. She couldn't find anyone so I offered to help. Our dogs get on well and I'm used to having more than one, although at the moment only have one. She asked how much I'd charge but I said no bother just provide his usual food and treats, which she did. Her dogs food is a superior top end brand to the food I give mine.

All was great whilst we had him, but when feeding, the dogs seemed to favour each others food and swapped between bowls. I didn't think too much of it but did mention it to one of the other mums at the school gates in a jokey way, saying my dog obviously preferred the more expensive brand to the supermarket stuff I provided. Whereas her dog really liked the cheaper stuff.

Mary has obviously been told and today asked me if I fed my dog her dogs food. I was a bit taken aback but explained the above and of course I did give her dog its own food but sometimes dogs want what the other dog has.

She was very cold and told me to compensate her for any tins I gave my dog as she wasn't there to provide for my animal! I'm totally bemused, I saved her £100's in dog sitting fees and although I'm not now going to charge her she must see she is totally unfair.

Or am I wrong and should I buy a pack of 4 tins to give her. My DH says ignore but I don't want bad feeling.

I would speak to her directly and ask her if she's having a laugh. The dogs ate from eachothers bowls. If she didn't give you instructions it sounds like she was so eager to get on holiday she dropped the dog off and ran. Call her out for being rude, cheeky and ungrateful. In fact call her out in front of other school mums. I don't even know you and I'm absolutely raging for you that you did a good deed and it's being twisted this way!

Yes! Do this.

It sounds like the stirrer one might have made it sound like you deliberately swapped the food maybe? Which would have been a bit odd (although I still would not have said anything as you were obvi doing a massive favour).

I would not be paying but would also ask her exactly what was said, letting her know the dogs just swapped a bit of their own accord …

She got free dog sitting, so it’s very cheeky of her to ask for money for the dog food regardless of whether your dog ate the posh food. I wouldn’t offer again!

To be honest, you were irresponsible to give her dog your dog's food and I'd be a bit annoyed with you too, you don't know her dog's history, and what food agrees or doesn't agree with it.

As a rule of thumb changing any dogs regular dog food usually consists of a couple of days of dodgy tum.. so why would you do that with a dog that isn't your own? especially when they were sent with the food they wanted you to feed. We've got three dogs and are the go-to dog sitters in our family, we always feed other dogs separately from our own.

I wouldn't have said anything to you as I'd appreciate you were doing me a favour in a pinch but if you clueless enough to let that happen then tell people at school what you'd done like it was no big deal then I wouldn't feel comfortable asking you to look after any animal of mine.

I'd want all the bad feeling in the world and would be telling her what a fucking twat she is!

"Hi Mary, you seem to have misspelt "Thank you for making sure Rover was walked, fed and loved in my absence and with such short noticed. It was much appreciated. Here is my token of thanks..." Don't worry, these spelling mistakes can happen to the best of us."

Tell her what you said here -
'Hi fancydogfoodlady, I am a bit bemused that you want compensation because Rex may have eaten some of your Fido's food when I was doing you the favour of minding Fido for free for a week. I think he may have eaten c.1.5 tins. If you would still like to pursue this, please send me your bank details and I will transfer £2.27 p. We will be away for a week in January, and having had Fido for a week I'd be delighted if you could reciprocate for last week by taking Rex. I will of course supply his food - and surplus in case Fido gets a taste for it!'

I’d give her a bill for x days boarding @ whatever the local rate is, minus her 4 Tim’s of food. Miserable cow.

This. And I’d tell her to never speak to me again. If I saw her in the street I’d ignore her. What an absolute cow and a short sighted idiot.

She's out of her f'ng mind.

“Erm Mary, I looked after your dog for a week for free at short notice and you are asking me for compensation because the dogs stuck their snouts in eachother’s bowls? Do you not think that’s the behaviour of a total cunt?”

gets the message across

quit people pleasing

why handle something nicely when someone’s demanding money when you did them a favour.

Regardless of whether the dog is on a special diet, the OP did th woman a massive favour.

You say you don’t want bad feelings? What you really mean is you don’t want her to feel bad but it’s ok if she makes you feel bad.

Why?

Indeed this.

OP you can either learn this now, or let it take you a decade or two: people who treat you like this do not need to be pleased/to have bad feeling avoided.

I strongly suggest you learn it now. I wish someone had made me learn this when I was younger.

Mary picked her dog up Friday evening, we were going out so didn't have time to chat but she was very grateful. I didn't use all the food she gave me so returned 2 tins to her.

For those that asked, there was no present to me but I wasn't expecting to get anything. Although I agree a bottle of wine or flowers would be what I would have done.

She didn't even get you a present? Bill the cheeky fucker!

Actually I'd think about combining the suggestion I liked above from @Spirallingdownwards and the one from @MeowCatPleaseMeowBack so something like this:
Hi Mary,
I'm not sure what you heard or were told about your Fido and my Rover when I was dog sitting for you, but since this has become a commercial agreement, my daily rate for dog sitting is £50. As I looked after Fido for X number of days, that will come to £xxx. I've also checked out the type of dog food that Fido eats and you can keep £10 back for the cost of four tins of dog food. My bank account details are as follows and I'll expect the money to be transferred by the end of the day. Please be aware that all of the above was avoidable and you should also be aware that this has effectively ended any possible arrangements for the future...all over a few tins of pet food. Sincerely @dogbiscuitsareforlife "

She's a right twat not to have gotten you a thank you present.

I won't be at school gates until end of week although I may see Mary out on dog walk before then if we bump into each other.
I will get the dog food and am thinking I'll hand it to her in front of other mums and be vocal about 'owing' it. Someone's bound to ask so I can then tell them the reason.

This is outrageous! I can't believe she has asked for compensation, that would totally sour the friendship for me and I'd never help again. Really hope you've told her how ungrateful she has been OP.

Haha brilliant answer

"Here's two tins of food - I've subtracted what your dog ate of ours from the four you asked for.

No need to worry about the money I saved you, I'll chalk it up to a lesson learned."

You maintain the high ground, remind her that she's a CF, and makes it clear you won't be helping again.

Cheeky fucker... I'd give her the dog food, and then ghost her.