AIBU to feel like I should celebrate

[relay500]

Recently engaged, wasn't planning on having an engagement party because we have 2 young kids under 6 and not much childcare

Feel so sad recently we won't get to celebrate. Not even because of this but because I've never had a party for myself, never had an 18th, 21st or a baby shower with either of my kids :(

I would have loved any of these. Feel like I go above and beyond for the people I love and no one has ever bothered to arrange anything for me , I don't have a huge group of friends, maybe 3 close friends and no sisters

So upset lately thinking about this and feel like I have missed out on celebrating big milestones in my life

AIBU?

Celebrate at your wedding

You will get to celebrate on your wedding day. I don't know anyone who does engagement parties

Oh I feel like this! I'm the planner in my family/friendship groups and it SUCKS nothing gets done for me. Or if I hint it, it needs spelling out and overseeing and ends up being a load of hassle 😂

Can you do several small events? Or host any evenings in with Prosecco and a takeaway you invite your friends to? I get it's not ideal though :/

You could have got engaged before having children, you have a wedding planned or will do I presume

I'm going to be harsh - you're being very passive.

If you want to have parties then have parties. People usually organise their own birthday parties. They don't just feel sorry for themselves because no one organised one for them.

There's no reason you can't have a daytime engagement party with the kids present. It's up to you to arrange to celebrate your own milestones.

If you feel you don't have enough people to invite that's a different issue but also something that you can tackle going forward.

YABU to be moping about it. If you want a party, organise one. This goes for baby showers/weddings/birthdays/house warming etc.

I do get that. I've never seen anyone organise their own baby shower though? I don't know I think I might also be jealous seeing other people be spoiled and made a fuss of for occasions and I've never had that. I might just need to get over it though haha

I wonder if perhaps because you never throw parties, your friends don't think you're a party person and didn't realise how much you'd have liked a baby shower. You might need to tell people in future.

Apart from a baby shower and a hen night, the rest of the celebrations are your own responsibility. Don't let your engagement pass by and become another thing on the list of what you feel you should have celebrated.

Honestly that could be it. I did become very introverted after having my kids. I'm already worried I'll end up organising my own hens! Will definitely have to have a word with the bridesmaids and let them know I'll be leaving it up to them

I organised my own Hen 🤷‍♀️

I'm with you OP. I organise my own significant birthday dos. Nobody has organised a party for me, nor baked a cake, or hung a banner even. I didn't have a wedding either. It sucks.

I am with you about an 18th or 21st birthday celebration. Baby showers should be consigned to history.

Make up for it with a lovely wedding.

I think most people organise their own birthdays. If you want a party have one! You’ll have your wedding coming up and the whole day will be about you and your husband. Then have another big party for your 40th or something. Most people I know had a hand in their hen do, quite a few organised it themselves (most to be honest), why risk getting something you don’t want?

I have celebrated myself (usually very small tame events) all my life. My 18th, 21st, 30th, engagement, hen party, baby shower, 40th, etc. Every single one I organised, sometimes with the help of a family member at my request. No one ever organised anything for me. Stop being silly and organise your own life. If you want a party throw a party.

Chiming in with PPs! I organised all my own except engagement party - which fiancé arranged as a surprise, and it was all his friends 🙄 Organised my own hen do, and am currently organising my 70th birthday. Who did you think arranges these things, the party fairy?!

Get on with it! If you're strapped for funds, ask people to join you down the pub to help celebrate your engagement.

In the olden days, if you wanted a party, you organised it yourself. People might help, but you got the ball rolling and had overall control.

My SIL & BIL recently celebrated their ruby wedding anniversary. They organised their own party. We helped with setting up and clearing up but they set the date, invited people, organised and paid for catering. This is normal for our age group.

This is a new thing, this expecting people to throw parties, organise hen dos and baby showers for you. Is it a social media thing?

You can do something to celebrate your engagement if you want to, but you should do the work of organising it. I actually think you shouldn’t dump all the work for your hen do on your bridesmaids either. They’re not your employees.

No need for engagement party wedding is fine