I’m just tired of being sad

[xxoverworkedandanxiousxx]

I’m sorry if this is a long post, I don’t really have anyone to speak to.

Basically the title says it all, I’m tired of being sad.

I'm a single mum of 2 and my kids only go to their dads for 1 night every fortnight usually (dads choice). I’ve asked for extra help but dad declined. I work 32 hours over 5 days in quite an intense job. I’m term time only which is helpful but at the same time a lot to handle keeping both entertained. My eldest is 11 and going through puberty and is a hormonal nightmare, a lot of shouting and storming about and answering back. My 4 year old is quite clingy and has always been a whinger. I’m just feeling very overwhelmed, if I’m not at work then I’m at home with the kids, I feel like I never stop cleaning and tidying yet it’s always a mess. I’m always skint and always have to turn down invites for anything.

I know there are a lot of people a lot worse off than me and I hate being a miserable cow, I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this black cloud. I’m on antidepressants. I can’t really call on anyone to help me as my family all work full time and have their own kids etc. I just crave some alone time to just go for a walk or even do the food shop alone 😂

im sorry if I sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself, I’m just very down

Oh OP, I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time, it's a lot. I don't have any immediate advice for you, but just want to say that you're heard and sending you so many good wishes. Remember, this particularly difficult phase won't last forever. Sending hugs xxxxx

This sounds really tough OP and you sound in desperate need of a break/some time to yourself, if your family have kids could they not take yours for a little while sometimes on a play date? I’m sure if you explained they’d want to help you out?

You are entitled to a whinge!

It sounds hard - it is hard when they’re younger. All I can say is I have four dcs (now in their teens and 20’s) and I’d do anything to go back to the younger years. They grow up so fast and they don’t really need me anymore 😢

Before you know it they’ll be out all the time and you’ll have lots of lovely spare time on your hands, I promise. In the meantime could you swap babysitting duties with anyone?

Maybe some after school clubs for both DC if you can manage to get both into one on same day? Just to give you that extra time after work to yourself..weekend clubs? My local community centre have things like cooking club where you drop dc off for 2 hours..cost £5 a class but it's worth the freedom. Your family/friends with their own dc..could you ask if they would do an exchange once a month..you have there kids and yours for a few hours then the week after they can return by having your kids with there kids for a few hours..could you ask your parents if you could drop dc around for an hour on the weekend just so you can get out for a walk alone? Could their dad not even take them for the day on the weekend they don't stay over? Are you critical with bed time and making sure they're both in bed by a decent time so you have a couple of hours to relax before bed?
Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and sad. Sending hugs🫶🏼

Did you really only receive 4 replies to this? I don’t understand why. @xxoverworkedandanxiousxx

You aren’t being unreasonable. It’s super tough to find time just for some quiet when it’s like that.

Do you have a fairly set routine, if not that might help. Will dad not even be receptive to having them one other night?

Try to remember it’s just like a cloudy day and will pass… hang in there x