To not want to hear about a holiday?

[briot]

Am I horrible? Colleague sent me an IM on Friday and said let’s go out for lunch on Monday as I need to tell you all about my holiday.

Now I’m more than happy to ask a colleague “did you have a nice time?” And hear a max 5 minute speech on what they did to be polite.

I don’t particularly care though. I wouldn’t wish them a horrible time and I’m pleased to know they enjoyed it, I just don’t find it interesting (as I’m sure they wouldn’t find my holidays interesting either) - I especially don’t find it interesting enough to give up my lunch time.

aibu?

Definitely.

Probably the type to be all sweetness and light to her colleague's face, when inside the opposite is true.

I think she probably doesn’t mean she intends to talk about her holiday for the entire duration of your meet up. Just a figure of speech you’ve taken literally. She probably means she will tell you about her holiday, which might take five minutes, but obviously will be talking about other stuff too? That’s what I would take from the comment.

hahahahaha have you never met one of THOSE people?

It’s just a lunch. I don’t see it as a big deal.

I'd find it odd that she (according to what she's said, so why not take her at her word?) wants to set aside time for the express purpose of talking about her holiday. That's a bit presumptuous and hardly the same thing as a conversation springing up naturally.

I might go anyway, since you can always just eat lunch, make a few polite comments, and then more or less zone out. If she monopolises the conversation, perhaps you can just nod and make the right noises until the clock runs out. If she realises she's boring you, that might be for the best, anyway. But if I could get out of it politely or invite a third person to act as a buffer and take some of the pressure off as far as politely pretending to care more than I do, I'd prefer that. A one-on-one lunch with a colleague-not-a-friend sounds very tiring to me, even without the threat of a play-by-play recounting of her holiday.

I would have no interest in listening to a colleague I am not even close to go on and on about their holidays for an hour over lunch...

She sounds completely self-absorbed.

Just decline and say you have other plans for your lunch break.

That sounds awful. No one wants to know beyond a sentence about the weather and one vaguely interesting thing you did or saw. Maybe one photo of a landmark to prove you went.

Schedule the lunch for a day when you have a meeting to get back for. If she is normal and just wants to chat in général then you can always arrange a second lunch.

Geez. The only nasty people on this thread are you two. Who smugly accuses someone of being nasty whilst actually being pretty vile themselves.

Of course I’m nice to all my colleagues. It’s a professional setting. If you’ve never felt annoyed or irritated by a colleague then you can’t have worked with that many people over the years.

I have a colleague like this who performs monologues for ridiculous amounts of time and even when people try to change the subject/ try to get a word in edgeways she will plough on until her monologue has concluded. I feel for you!

I'd ignore this. Of course it's fine to be 'sweetness and light' to a colleague, part of being a professional is the ability to get along with people you don't like! Doesn't mean you have to be best friends with them all or even friends at all outside of work if you don't want to.

gosh, how insightful.

I'm with you, that would be torture for me.

You don’t sound cold or miserable at all OP. I’m with you. Other than ‘how was your holiday?’ ‘Great thanks’ thats as much conversation as I need to have with a work colleague.

Even close friends an hour with a full breakdown of every day of their holiday is too much - and I wouldn’t dream of giving anyone a blow by blow account.

In your shoes I’d politely decline

Have you actually agreed to go to this op?
Could you easily get out of it?

YANBU to cancel due to something coming up.
This sounds like a waste of your time.
Lunch hours are sacred imo, not to be wasted on these kinds of shenanigans.

You must be a lovely colleague if she specifically wants to tell you about her holiday, otherwise she wouldn’t have targeted you surely. I’m a lovely colleague but will absolutely not want to sit for an hour listening to someone drone on about something I’m not interested in!

Bin it off!

"I'm actually a lovely person" - does anyone really describe themselves as a 'lovely person'! . It seems a very odd and arrogant way to describe yourself.

Anyway .. meet her or don't meet her, you don't have to justify yourself to her or to anyone, I avoid certain people if I know their conversation is dull or tedious .. as I am sure some people avoid me for the same reason. So long as we are polite and courteous you don't have to engage in boring conversations.

She sounds self-indulgent and clueless. One of those people who never asks someone questions about their life but who drones on about themselves. I would never tell somebody that I was going to share my holiday details with them over lunch, even a close friend or family member.

Ignore those bitchy comments. They are being mean for the sake of it and don’t appear to understand the issue.

She sounds rather insufferable!
I love hearing about other people's holidays! I'm keen on holidays but haven't been for many years, various reasons, but still like ideas for when I can get away. I'm a complete geek about other countries however and ask so many questions they stop talking about it after a while ( strangely enough)
Don't go to lunch with her though, she sounds self centred and why encourage her .