Apologies, this is long.
My STB ex left me earlier this year, when our youngest was 4 months old. It’s been pretty awful since then, e.g. he’s been in the house when I’m out to root through my things, he’s threatened to withdraw financial support/hide money from CMS, he’s called me an incompetent mother because my mum was coming over to help me (he watched on ring doorbell but wouldn’t give me the login info, so I replaced it with my own and he covered it with tape after coming back here when I was away). When I tell him these behaviours are out of line, I’m labelled insane or controlling, I get the “see, I was right to leave” line. I also get accused of stopping contact with the children when I’ve allowed him here all the time to see them, and invited him along to special occasions, parents evenings and days out. He’ll often ignore messages about the kids and plans with them. In all this time, I’ve had contact with some of his family but none with his brother.
Anyway, I was out with the kids and my sister recently, and we crossed paths with his brother. The brother approached us on the same pavement, turned his entire body as far around as he could, and tried not to look at us. I said to eldest DC (4), say hello to uncle X, and she shouted hello. He muttered hello and carried on walking, not looking at her. If I’d not said anything, he would’ve not acknowledged her. This is the third time something like this has happened with him. The second she was calling out to him from the car and he ignored her, she balled her eyes out as they have always had a good relationship. Each time I’ve told my ex, and been told I’m trying to cause conflict and am lying. I’ve said if he can’t keep his opinions to himself in front of her and is willing to upset her, they shouldn’t have any relationship at all as she’s young enough to forget him. I’m also pissed off that ex sees this as a me issue, when he should be sticking up for DD. AIBU, and if so what would you do?