Am I thinking too much?

[BusyMaker]

Just signed up after hours of looking on google for people in a similar situation. No judgement please 😭…. I’ve been with my partner for 4 years, I have children from a previous relationship and one to this man currently 35 weeks pregnant with his second child. My heads doing overtime lately, all my kids are winter babies so birthdays start from November from January. Of course Christmas in between all of that. Don’t know why I’m only just feeling this now but hey ho somethings came over me. Hoping I make sense for everyone to understand and give me some advice…. So he is down to be staying at his mothers but stays me with me the majority. Please no judgement 😖 I’m trying to figure things out 😖 yes he helps around the house at times and is good with the kids but I can’t help but feel like he’s leeching off me. I pay for absolutely everything. Gas electric petrol food anything that comes into the house I pay for. He gets UC and doesn’t contribute one bit. It’s a touchy subject with him as I’ve tried to mention it previously but he just shuts me down by saying well you get paid for the kids and I do my bit for them so there you go. 😖. Yes okay I am on benefits and I am also very sensible financially. I have been decorating the whole house and I paid for it all to look nice with abit extra I had saved and had put away. I have been buying birthday presents Christmas presents since august as I like to start a little early and I cannot for the life of me shift my brain from thinking he is a taking the piss basically. It’s always my card that is being used. I feed him wash his clothes take him to appointments just everything in general basically. He just wants his bank balance to build he says because I have more than him (whatever is in my bank goes towards the kids needs and the house) 😭 draining me even thinking about how to bring it up in conversation without him commenting on my benefits which are totally for my kids and our home to keep running. The kids do not go without and our house is a happy home. I suppose I just need some advice from others because I am losing my mind talking to myself over it all. He tells me he loves me and I do believe it but still, there’s just no input. Am I being used 😔

Don’t worry about upsetting people on here!

Yes the man is using you?!

he doesn’t pay or contribute towards his living costs let alone his children’s - seems like he is unemployable

Your workload would be lighter with him gone - he has clearly been taking advantage of your kind nature

You're committing benefit fraud. Get him out now.

don't ask him

tell him you want him out
don't give him a choice
if you have to make some lie that you heard the lady down the road is being investigated
and stand your ground be firm
tell him he can visit but not stay overnight and he can eat and wash at his mums

Just want to give you a hug. Life sounds hard enough without a man playing with your head.