Firstly, I’m not devastated by this story, but had to share it here because I’m shocked.
I met a lovely italian guy 6 months ago. We started dating but it was a rocky start because he’s quite typically italian and romantic, and I’m a bit british stiff upper lipped.
He likes to give a lot of compliments and to receive them, which wasn’t natural for me at first and he was open that it hurt his feelings.
Recently, I really tried hard to meet him where he’s at and to be open about how I feel and to say nice things. I was making quite a conscious effort because I do really like him.
I didn’t change any of my other behaviour. Didn’t call more, didn’t ask to see him more, didn’t declare my undying love. I just made an effort to give (genuine) compliments. He seemed really pleased about it!
Just little things “it’s super sexy that you made me dinner”…”wow, you look great in that shirt”…”I love seeing how good you are to your grandma”.
This weekend, I knew something was off, particularly after 2 failed attempts at sex.
To my shock, this is what happened next:
Him: so, you really like me, hey?
Me: yeah of course!
Him: it’s a bit gross
Me (thinking he was joking): I know. Super cringe that I’m now saying nice things.
Him: no, seriously. It’s not really attractive when someone acts so clingy.
Me: clingy?? Because I said nice things?
Him: yeah. Sorry. It’s really sweet of you but it’s really not sexy to know you’re so into me. Men don’t really like that. It’s too much.
Me: wait, is that why you couldn’t get it up?
Him: yeah…I just don’t find you as hot now I know you really like me. It’s really put me off.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s entitled to be put off by whatever he likes, but telling me he doesn’t find me sexy now he knows I really like him, was a shocker. I’ve had some rough dating situation but this might be a new low!
Needless to say I made a hasty exit.
Where do I submit my resignation from the dating pool?