It's really not that easy. Dp and I have been together 14 years. We've been through some horrendous stuff, personal to us as a couple, in that time.
Dp isn't a bad man. He is a product of his upbringing, an upbringing that's quite common where we live.
Everytime things come to the surface, he says all the right things. But ultimately, he is surrounded by people just like him and worse and that is always a justification to him.
Over the years you become worn down and it is easy to look around and realise the grass likely wouldn't be greener.
Also, I spoke seriously with the right people about this earlier this year and it really really isn't as simple as upping and leaving. I would have to declare myself homeless to be housed by out local council. That would likely mean my daughter and I, who currently have a very nice home, going into some sort of bedsit accommodation. Where we live it would likely be in amongst immigrants who don't even speak our language. It's not a situation I am prepared to put myself in. Private rents are unattainable due to the costs. Financially I would be way worse off which would be fine in council accommodation but not private. I work part time so would have to rely on universal credit to top my wages up and it wouldn't come close to covering the cost of private rent.
I can't work more hours, I have no childcare and am on minimum wage in the NHS. Having said that it's just gone up slightly but nowhere near enough to make a difference. If I wanted more hours I'd have to go to the local hospital and would need wrap wound childcare and petrol which would eat up the difference anyway.