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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a man to move at parkrun

262 replies

brownbear201 · 02/11/2024 23:45

I am curious as to what you all think of this incident I had whilst running a parkrun this morning. The parkrun I was running was quite a narrow parkrun- it’s an out and back and you run down a track. The track itself is not very wide and faster runners come back towards slower runners on the return if that makes sense. As I was running earlier I was behind a man running with a dog. He was young-ish probably in his early twenties. He wasn’t going super slowly or anything but I wanted to go faster and overtake. However, there were faster runners coming towards me. As he had a dog I couldn’t get past him, if he hadn’t had a dog I would have been able to squeeze past. To be fair he had the dog on a very short fixed lead and was as far left as he could get but because the dog was running at his side I couldn’t get past. I said to him as I was coming up from behind him “Can you move your dog over please?” And he replied “Can you be patient like everyone else?” I ignored him saying this and I was eventually able to overtake him and I heard him muttering about impatient people and just ignored him. A short while later I pulled over to the side to catch my breath- I was out of the way whilst I did this as past the narrow section. He then ran past me again and said “You’ve gotten far considering you were so desperate to get past” I didn’t say anything back to him. Was I right to just ignore him? He wasn’t big or intimidating looking by any means and he didn’t shout but it was the way he looked at me that left me a bit unsettled. AIBU? Was I wrong to ask him to move?

OP posts:
LameBorzoi · 03/11/2024 00:23

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 00:21

@MrsTerryPratchett Because she ran past others then had to stop (not walk intervals - stop) to catch her breath. She'd be much better off doing a slower pace, or walk-run, rather than sprinting then stopping.

But she's not holding anyone else up or delaying other runners.

Parkruns are also about learning about what you can do / what you want to do /what you need to learn to do

She is if she is stopped on the path to catch her breath!

Also, unless the dog is huge it really doesn't make much difference with the overtaking

jen337 · 03/11/2024 00:24

I’ve had and seen a couple of similar interactions on park runs. For something which is supposed to be a fun activity to get people into running there always seems to be someone doing something someone else doesn’t like and a weird trying-to-appear-nonchalant-but-at-the-same-time-try-hard-competitive vibe. I guess that’s just what people are like these days, or maybe what some runners are like in general.

Jingleballs2 · 03/11/2024 00:25

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 00:13

@Jingleballs2 I mean, when you stopped you were probably causing an obstruction as well.

How exactly would OP have been causing an obstruction??

Because she's stopped still on an obviously narrow path 🤷‍♀️

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/11/2024 00:27

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 00:21

@MrsTerryPratchett Because she ran past others then had to stop (not walk intervals - stop) to catch her breath. She'd be much better off doing a slower pace, or walk-run, rather than sprinting then stopping.

But she's not holding anyone else up or delaying other runners.

Parkruns are also about learning about what you can do / what you want to do /what you need to learn to do

Hence me helpfully saying she needs to sort her pacing. I'm not saying she's a cow, but her pacing needs work. Sprinting then stopping is the worst of both worlds.

OP just have a look at couch to 5k or 10k.

Fishpieandchips · 03/11/2024 00:30

Love parkrun, love dogs but really don't like dogs at parkrun tbh
Not the point of the thread but understand your issue op.

ProvincialLady24 · 03/11/2024 00:32

I know nothing about running.

However, I always assumed that the whole point of Park Run was to track/beat your time.

If I am correct then I'd be really pissed off to have my timings compromised by a dog.

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 00:33

@LameBorzoi She is if she is stopped on the path to catch her breath!
I agree ....... but was she stopped on the path or to the side??

Also, unless the dog is huge it really doesn't make much difference with the overtaking
a dog running alongside a runner obviously takes up more room on the path than just a solo runner

ProvincialLady24 · 03/11/2024 00:34

And FYI - I have a dog. I'd never bring my dog to Park Run.

jen337 · 03/11/2024 00:35

This is what I’m talking about. Pacing? It’s running around a park not the diamond league. Equally if someone’s on a go slow with a dog, just slow down till you can get past, even if it adds a few seconds to your “time”. PSA no one cares about your “time”. Why do people even care what anyone else is doing?

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 00:35

@MrsTerryPratchett Hence me helpfully saying she needs to sort her pacing

helpfully saying 😂😂

EdithBond · 03/11/2024 00:40

It’s fine to ask someone politely to move, so you can get past. Though I think I’d have waited for a gap rather than expect him to get his dog to move. Could come across as a little demanding.

How did he look at you? Pissed off or more threatening?

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/11/2024 00:44

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 00:35

@MrsTerryPratchett Hence me helpfully saying she needs to sort her pacing

helpfully saying 😂😂

Yes. Walk-run helps build running, prevent injury, improve times, maintain fitness and all sorts of lovely things. Sprinting then stopping will make you feel terrible, doesn't do anything for your time, and honestly, probably means you won't become a consistent runner.

I am the world's slowest, shittest runner. But I don't <touches wood> get injured. Even though I'm old and was fat. And the reason is that I run slowly, then walk, then run slowly. I can run (slowly) a 10k pretty much tomorrow without walking if I had to. You feel much worse if you stop during runs. If you walk between running portions, you don't.

But the OP can learn the hard way. I'll helpfully shut up now Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/11/2024 00:45

Oh and I assume the OP is a reverse BTW.

ClairDeLaLune · 03/11/2024 00:49

Why do fucking dogs have to go everywhere? Parkrun should be humans only imo. YANBU OP.

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 00:55

@MrsTerryPratchett But the OP can learn the hard way. I'll helpfully shut up now
I think OP can learn in her own time and in her own way

i.e. the way that you have learned and the way that we all learn.

We learn by experience.... ??

.......... and she wasn't wrong if the man and the dog were causing an obstruction.

Sometimes people just are inconsiderate!!

TheSmallAssassin · 03/11/2024 01:00

jen337 · 03/11/2024 00:35

This is what I’m talking about. Pacing? It’s running around a park not the diamond league. Equally if someone’s on a go slow with a dog, just slow down till you can get past, even if it adds a few seconds to your “time”. PSA no one cares about your “time”. Why do people even care what anyone else is doing?

People care about their own time though and want to improve. If they didn't, why would there be any times recorded or published?

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/11/2024 01:05

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 00:55

@MrsTerryPratchett But the OP can learn the hard way. I'll helpfully shut up now
I think OP can learn in her own time and in her own way

i.e. the way that you have learned and the way that we all learn.

We learn by experience.... ??

.......... and she wasn't wrong if the man and the dog were causing an obstruction.

Sometimes people just are inconsiderate!!

Edited

No, I learned by joining a run group started by a runner who taught me well. She is a research scientist trying to cure cancers who thought the best thing she could do for cancer is teach as many old, fat, injured and lazy people as possible (I tick all those boxes but one) how to run.

Had I learned the hard way I would not have carried on running. Not a doubt in my mind. She taught us how to do intervals, run hills so we didn't die, slow down not stop, and when people get injuries or have a hard time, she finds a way to sort us out. It doesn't cost anything. But when we finally run a 10k, she posts donation links to cancer charities while we are on a high 

I am now that annoying wanker who bangs on about running. 10 years ago I was morally opposed to running for a bus.

Maybe OP is young, skinny and all piss and vinegar and can learn the hard way. All power to her arm.

Raquelos · 03/11/2024 01:07

No, sorry. This isn't a man thing or a dog thing. Park runs take place in public parks. People have as much right to use those parks for their recreation as people running, people also have the right to run in park runs in the way they choose, even with dogs. If you're chasing a PB choose a better environment.

He irritated you and then you irritated him and then you set yourself up for him to snark at you in his irritation. No drama, just two people being imperfect. If it's any consolation both of you are closer to perfection than I am for hauling your asses out to a run on a cold November day. I was definitely sitting on mine at home 😀

MartinCrieffsLemon · 03/11/2024 01:11

ClairDeLaLune · 03/11/2024 00:49

Why do fucking dogs have to go everywhere? Parkrun should be humans only imo. YANBU OP.

I agree dogs are too welcome everywhere now

But Parkrun is literally just running in a park. Dogs are allowed in a park. Dogs should be allowed in a park.

If they want to run in a dedicated, dog free space then hire a track

pizzaHeart · 03/11/2024 01:17

TheSmallAssassin · 03/11/2024 00:03

I think it was OK for you to ask and it would have been OK for him to say no. But he was a dick for being passive aggressive when you asked and making a snide remark when he passed you.

This^
It wasn’t a big deal for him to hold his dog and let you overtake him, it’s a Parkrun not Olympics, there was no need for all his comments.

I think you were absolutely right: you asked politely to hold the dog and then you ignored stupid comments.

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 01:22

@jen337 Equally if someone’s on a go slow with a dog, just slow down till you can get past, even if it adds a few seconds to your “time”. PSA no one cares about your “time”. Why do people even care what anyone else is doing?

I think you've missed the whole point of a parkrun?

no one cares about your “time” the person doing the "time" cares (part of the whole point of of doing a parkrun)

Why do people even care what anyone else is doing?

From the point of view of the runner with the dog - no, they didn't care what anyone else was doing

From the point of view of the runner - of course they do becauses it impacts on them and what they're trying to achieve

LBFseBrom · 03/11/2024 01:29

I never realised park run was such a big deal.

Op, why not just go for a run on your own? That would be more comfortable.

Birdscratch · 03/11/2024 01:29

His dog and the other runners were blocking you and YOU WERE ALL BLOCKING ANYONE ELSE FROM USING THE SPACE BECAUSE PARK RUN IS NOW TOO POPULAR TO ACTUALLY WORK. If you want to overtake, just run on your own at a different time like a normal person. If you want to run with everyone else, learn to deal with the crush.

setmestraightplease · 03/11/2024 01:29

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/11/2024 01:05

No, I learned by joining a run group started by a runner who taught me well. She is a research scientist trying to cure cancers who thought the best thing she could do for cancer is teach as many old, fat, injured and lazy people as possible (I tick all those boxes but one) how to run.

Had I learned the hard way I would not have carried on running. Not a doubt in my mind. She taught us how to do intervals, run hills so we didn't die, slow down not stop, and when people get injuries or have a hard time, she finds a way to sort us out. It doesn't cost anything. But when we finally run a 10k, she posts donation links to cancer charities while we are on a high 

I am now that annoying wanker who bangs on about running. 10 years ago I was morally opposed to running for a bus.

Maybe OP is young, skinny and all piss and vinegar and can learn the hard way. All power to her arm.

Show quote history

I'm genuinely sorry for what you've gone through and why you've had to go through it

............... but I wonder how it's relevant to OP's situation?

MartinCrieffsLemon · 03/11/2024 01:31

LBFseBrom · 03/11/2024 01:29

I never realised park run was such a big deal.

Op, why not just go for a run on your own? That would be more comfortable.

ParkRun is a huge deal now apparently...

We were running an event in the local park. All council approved and above board. We had to stop setting up for an hour so the ParkRun people could use the space... which meant we had to get up earlier to make sure we had enough time