Changing DS surname and new baby

[Fruitloaf3]

Hi MN
I’m not sure if I’m posting on the right place but here goes

I’m a young mum and when I fell pregnant with DS (3) me and dp weren’t together long and he was flakey. He buried his head and did the bare minimum during the pregnancy. From advice given on MN, I gave DS my surname. Dp was upset by this and asked if he proved himself to me, and the baby, sorted himself out would I change it to his surname. Surnames seemed to mean more to
him than me. I agreed and 3 years later, we still haven’t changed it. He’s been amazing. But we only got as far as calling the registry’s office who confirmed I can re- register birth certificate to change surname to natural fathers. I’ve got the form but I just feel silly. We now have a new baby on the way and I’m happy to give dp’s surname but what should I about our first? I don’t plan on getting married. It all seems such a faff and I feel like an idiot, like I’d have to call the nursery and doctors etc to let them know he’s got a new surname. What should I do ?

Keep the children’s surnames the same ie yours

if you and DP are together for the long term, why don't you want to be married? it gives you more financial security.

but if you aren't married, I'd give the new baby your surname with DPs surname as a middle name so that he is included but doesn't dominate.

Get married? Change them/ double-barrell then?

Give the baby your surname too or give the baby his. Dont change the older child’s. It is his name.

Get married. Especially if you work or are going to work part-time. It puts you in an incredibly vulnerable position if you don't, then you can make all your surnames the same (he can change to yours).

I wouldn’t change your child’s name. While it might be allowed legally, ethically, I don’t believe you should be able to do so unless there are extraordinary circumstances like adoption. The name now belongs to your child and only your child should be able to make changes.

If you're not married yet make sure that your surname is in there too. Don't change them to DP's name only.

He could walk out on you tomorrow and your kid would have his last name not yours. Do you really want to do that?

I'd leave DS & also give the new baby mine.

hard for DP maybe, but that's the best thing for you & the kids. DP can change his to yours if he wants you all to be the same.

look at your finances/stability as to whether getting married is in your best interest or not. It's not about matching bridesmaids & cake!

DP can change his to yours if he wants you all to be the same.
This. If it is that important to him, he can change his name.

Leave it. Your partner can change his name to match all of yours if he wants them to be the same.

Children should have the same surname as their mother. Give the new baby your surname too.

If he wants the children to have the same name as him then he can change his to match.