Going no contact with parents

[mc971]

I've recently cut contact with my parents. It was mostly a build up of issues over time, which led to some home truths being told which resulted in a huge argument. There's a hell of a lot that's happened for it to come to this point and I felt I had no choice but to go NC with them for the sake of my mental health.

However, I do have young children which inevitably they will want to see but I don't know how to navigate this situation so I'm wondering how others have gotten through it.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Well what were the issues? We can't really advise until we know more info. For example if you fell out with them that's one thing maybe the kids can still see them somehow but if they are abusive or a danger to the children then they can't see them and that's what you'll need help navigating.

My birth father is dead and my birth mother enabled my horrific childhood abuse so will never see my children as it is not safe.

I went nc with my dm and she certainly doesn't see my dc either.... If she isn't great for your mh why offer up your precious dc to her?

I don't see or speak to either of my parents , they are toxic and abusive. My son will never see them again and by the time he's old enough to be curious they'll be long dead

If you can’t be around that person, your kids definitely shouldn’t. We have gone NC with FIL, he wants to see the kids as is his ‘right’ (it’s absolutely not). Clearly that’s a straight up NO.

It's just a such strange feeling suddenly not to have your parents in your life. I feel so confused but I know it's for the best

I'm NC with my parents. My parents don't see my kids. Ever.

Sometimes you have to put yourself and your mental wellbeing first - doesn’t have to be permanent. Take some time for yourself, and your children. Then maybe you’ll be ready to talk to them or get someone’s opinion you respect and can work on what’s right for you.
Maybe you don’t need a full on relationship with them and more distant relationship might be better in the long term. It’s what right for you, when it feels right x

If it’s not safe for you to have a relationship with them, it’s not safe for your children. Your kids wellbeing needs to be protected first. I am NC with my family. I stopped contact with my children about 2 years before I fully went NC myself (hoping it would provide a bit of time when they could get some therapy and address the dysfunction in their lives). It was the absolute best decision. My youngest doesn’t even remember them now and oldest very rarely mentions them.

I recently went NC with my 'parent'

A lot of changes were happening and family messiness came out at the time. I explained to my DC that "X isn't a very nice person and we don't have any contact. I was very unhappy as a child and I won't want any part of that in your lives"

If they are assholes , why would you want them in your kids lives? I doubt they will ever change. My mother certainly did not. She will never see my son.