Lonely teenagers. Any other mums out there no how sad it feels as a mum?

[Pippyls67]

Anyone else have a lonely teenage who finds mixing and making friends a struggle. Mine is 18 and has everything going for him -( good looking, fit, bright enough - stuff other kids might notice) he’s just incredibly shy. He’s so lonely it absolutely breaks my heart. I remember being lonely for a while too when younger- it was soul destroying. How do you cope if you’re a mum in the same position. What makes you hopeful for the future if anything? Would I be unreasonable just to trust to fate and think things will improve somehow. He’s been lonely and withdrawn socially pretty much since lockdown. He says he’d love to go out just doesn’t know how to make friends and ask to join in stuff. I feel so so inadequate as a shy mother myself. Feels like I’ve damaged him irrevocably.

I hear you – my daughter’s a bit younger, but has gone through similar phases, especially after lockdown.

I don’t think there’s anything you’ve done “wrong”...some kids are just wired more quietly, and unfortunately that can make teenage years lonelier than they should be.

I do think things can change.

Once they leave school and get into new spaces – work, uni, gap years, whatever – the social dynamics shift a lot.

My older niece was painfully shy at 17, and now at 20 has a solid little group and so much more confidence.

It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen.

Not quite the same situation, but for anyone with daughters, mine has found an app called luna helpful.

It’s geared toward teen girls and covers things like confidence, friendships, and just figuring stuff out socially without pressure.

Hope this helps anyone going through this – and thank you for this thread, has been really reassuring for me too!