DH commenting on how much I eat

[Butmaaaaam]

AIBU to be annoyed with DH for commenting on how much I eat (eg “I can’t believe you’ve eaten that big bag of nuts already”)?

A bit more background: I’m breastfeeding and 9 months post partum. My BMI is c20 so well within the healthy range, although I’m still a bit heavier than I was pre kids.

i do eat quite a lot but I’m active and generally eat very healthily.

A simple rule of thumb is don't comment on what other people eat.

It's no one else's business. You eat whatever you need to.

Has he always done this?

If you're not the type to keep moaning about your weight, he should mind his own business.

Tell him to get lost.

Piss off!! would be my answer you are breast feeding post partum !!

Even if you ate a whole bag of chocolate he can keep his opinion to himself

Someone smarter than me here will be able to tell you how much energy and calories your body needs to produce milk for an ever increasing baby

You know it's making me feel really uncomfortable when you keep commenting on what I'm eating or how much I'm eating. Can you stop doing that?

I think the above is absolutely fair to say and should be said. You will only get an idea of his intent once you've been honest and then gauge his reaction and follow up behaviour.

If he's making a dig about your weight when you've just had a baby, he is an absolute beast in my opinion. Let's just see how it goes when you have an honest chat.

Didn't you need a new patio?
Tell him the baby needed the nuts.

Tell him if he carries on, you'll be adding two extra nuts...

Context counts. If he's just gone to get some nuts and the 1kg bag he bought yesterday has gone then the comment is valid.

If you're short of cash then it may be a dig at the cost of the food you eat.

Pp gave an extra reply, tell him how it makes you feel and ask him to stop.

I rarely comment on my weight and he never does. I think he’s just shocked how much I eat sometimes (and how expensive that is when it’s things like nuts).

But it makes me feel uncomfortable and want to eat in secret so I’m not judged, which is obviously not a healthy attitude.

I’ve told him that but he still makes comments on occasion and it really irritates me.

I make similar comments to my cousin but I know it doesn't bother her, she's tiny and eats like a horse, walked out of hospital in size six jeans with each of her 3 children. She laughs and often makes similar comments about herself unprompted. If she ever mentioned it made her uncomfortable it would never happen again. Have you said to him, I'm a healthy weight, I'm breastfeeding and your comments upset me. If you have he's an arsehole.

The nuts are only for me so it’s not like he’s missing out. They are expensive but money isn’t tight and I feel like I need the energy running around after toddlers and breastfeeding.

I don’t eat meat so things like nuts are an important source of fat and protein.

Just kill him.

Yeah but then she’s got a whole other issue and thread. Far easier to tell him to fuck off.

Tell him to read this
It talks about the need for extra calories when breastfeeding and mentions nuts as a good source of protein.

The title is enough to make me angry but then reading that you're breastfeeding?? Absolutely fucking not. I'd make it very clear - like, so angry it leaves him a bit shocked clear - that this is unacceptable. Food is not moral - it is not inherently 'good' to eat less - and as long as you feel okay that's the only thing that matters. If it makes him feel good to eat less then he can do that himself and shut the fuck up about you.

What the first poster said

Don't comment on what people eat unless it's to say, that looks good

I’ve told him that but he still makes comments on occasion and it really irritates me.

"Honey I grew an entire human being from scratch with your microscopic donation in a matter of months. Now I'm growing that same human to six months, again using nothing but my body. It's a fucking miracle and BTW one you can't do. If I need fuel to grow an entire human being, I'll bloody eat what I need. Kindly never mention what I eat again."

You sometimes have to go nuclear.

Or tell him, if he carries on, he will be losing two nuts!!

You're sustaining your and his little human! Doesn't he understand that this requires more energy, and more 'fuel' to do it? Stupid man!

"Honey I grew an entire human being from scratch with your microscopic donation in a matter of months. Now I'm growing that same human to six months, again using nothing but my body. It's a fucking miracle and BTW one you can't do. If I need fuel to grow an entire human being, I'll bloody eat what I need. Kindly never mention what I eat again."

Perfect

I was hungry all the time while BF. Ate loads of nuts!

Well if you’re not putting on weight then you’re burning it all. Ask him what he suggests should be happening?

Breastfeeding requires more calorie intake. Cream cakes, oranges, protein and lots of fats. It also makes you more thirsty than when you were preggers.

He's a bit thick?

He should be making sure you've got plenty of those nuts at all times, without asking, and any other regularly eaten foods; and asking what else he can go out and get you to eat.