What gives some people appetite for life / purpose?

[dreambig24]

Reading a book today about a very specific area of wildlife conservation, with contributions from a wide variety of incredibly knowledgeable professors, scientists and conservationists of all ages and backgrounds. These are people who live, eat and breathe their work. It consumes them to the extent that most of their friends and social circle consist of people who work in the same field or live a similar way of life. They all appear to be very happy about it. They don't begrudge the investment it requires of them, and you get the sense that there simply isn't anything else they could imagine doing with their lives that would feel as rewarding.

These are people with friends, spouses and children. Their personal relationships are obviously very important to them, but it is their work/passion/hobby that gives their lives meaning and causes them to wake each day eager to continue working on a new project, experiment or paper.

I know plenty of other people who have a similar appetite for their relevant professional industries. I also know people who feel pretty indifferent about their jobs, but who spend every minute of their free time learning how to do their chosen sport or hobby to a professional level, becoming to most amazing chefs making incredibly intricate meals, or who constantly have a trip booked somewhere to explore a different part of the world.

All of these people appear to have a genuine appetite or zest for life.

Then there's me, who doesn't feel especially strongly about anything in life. My job is fine, but if I won the lottery I'd quit immediately. I like to read a bit and sometimes I might go for a run, but these are all things I do because I feel I should. I've tried learning musical instruments, cooking, playing sports, taking up singing etc and they're all just...fine... Nothing really sticks. I have no areas of expertise, nothing I'm really good at, and nothing that I desperately want to be better at. There's nothing I'm excited for when I wake up in the morning or when I finish work. I just feel pretty meh about everything.

Tell me, if you're one of these lucky people who have a genuine passion for something, what does it feel like and how does it affect your life?

Was anyone once like me, but then they found their calling late in life?

I have ADHD so I can never stick to any passion for very long.

I have huge contentment and joy in just being alive. There is boundless happiness in my family relationships. I also look at trees, birds, the sea and so on, and my inner person just goes "ohhhhh yeahhhh this life is amazing." I am very happy with myself as a person so maybe that is the foundation of joy?
I do have hobbies that have given me heights/moments of joy (mostly outdoor pursuits) but these are small injections of pleasure in my whole life. The joy comes from people I love and an appreciation of the earth itself I think - the sights, smells and so on.
It's hard to put into words!

I have a lifelong passion for horses since I was about 2 yrs old. The cost of them motivates me to keep working! They are a lifestyle not a hobby and everything revolves around them.
I find humans hard work so am much more comfortable with animals.
I also have working gundogs who make sure I get up early every morning and am out in all weather 365 days a year.
Lastly my DD

It would be so lovely to be like that! Have you always been that way?

I find I’m pretty good at just enjoying most aspects of my life and wanting to be better at them. I like my job and enjoy pushing forward with my career. I have a pretty standard job (teacher) but with a specialism I LOVE and am very good at. That is my real focus and I find it exciting to think the path my career may take because of this.

I also enjoy family life. I love renovating our house and designing it and organising it all and getting samples and colours and creating mood boards. I love the bits we’re doing now and look forward to future plans with the house - even fairly distant ones!! I also love watching my kids get older and all of the things that come with that - new experiences and relationships; grassroots football is one aspect of family life I’m obsessed with but if you’d have told me this before I had kids, I’d have fallen over in disbelief. There is nothing like standing on a line in the rain watching your kid and chatting to friends you’ve made through the sport, and spending hours of your weekend unpicking the match. I love spending time with my husband - even just a bottle of wine and a film, but we also love travel and exploring new places.

This has turned into a post of all the things I love and I haven’t even exhausted that list 🤣🤣🤣

I get very passionate about things for a short amount of time then it eases off. I'm your classic jack of all trades. I sound clever, superficially. I guess if anything, my passion is for learning. I want to know things. All the things. And I'm lucky enough to live in a period where I can find things out just by scrolling.

For some people, the most important thing is relationships.
They live for their marriage, children, friends, and/or wider family.

For others, it is not 'one big thing' - their life is lots of different things, lots of stuff tried and given up, but the common theme is self-exploration. It is about getting to know themselves better and growing as a person.

For some it is about money - they may not enjoy the job to earn it, but feel the need to amass a big 'pot' for security and to pass on to children. That is their life's work.

I don't think you need to have a passion to be happy. I enjoy my job, I love my DH and DC, I like socialising with friends, I like reading and running. I don't have one great passion for anything but I'm very happy with my life and wouldn't change a thing. Maybe that could be the thing to aim for OP? Just feeling content and positive?

I am very similar, I am accomplished in many areas of life but there isn’t one thing I would describe as my passion. I think I’m a breadth person rather than a depth person and I’ve never really had a clear idea of what I want to do so I do lots of things that take my fancy. I am not sure if I’d be happier or not with a passion but I guess it would be easier to express happiness if I had one as I see lots of pps doing upthread 😊

I don't have a passion. The very most I can summon up is a fairly keen interest. However what I realised is it doesn't matter. I meander through my life calmly and placidly, enjoying everything a bit and some things a lot, Jack of all trades, a little knowledge of a lot of things. To be honest I find the thought of having to be passionate about something quite tiring. All that bouncing out of bed. And also, if it's always the same thing with the same people...a bit boring?

Horses

Yes I think so. Now I'm thinking about why, I honestly think it must evolve from having absolute peace with myself, so I think I don't really think about myself much? So I look outward at relationships and environment instead of worrying about things. I don't know really.
*By peace with myself I mean I am happy with who I am, I feel I have great worth (equal to everybody else), and while there are things I could improve there is nothing I dislike about my character or my body. I think maybe being at ease with the core of who you are is key to contentedness and joy.

Sometimes it's depression OP - people drive themselves into a cause and try to make things better but there is a background of struggle with mood.

I'd love to be able to experience life as one of these people who finds pleasure in the smallest of things. I've tried reframing my thoughts to be more positive, but I think I'm genetically just someone who is prone to depression. I find life middling to a bit shit most of the time. I do have hobbies and think life is better with dogs in it, but I'm not sure they bring me joy as such.