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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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13 replies

Mrssmith3 · 01/11/2024 07:37

I have a long term friend who over recent time I’ve noticed jealous/odd behaviours.In the past few weeks she asked to meet and I didn’t reply.
A few examples she often turns the conversation to money and trying to question how I will pay for something.
If I talk of something I want to do that will give me more experience/qualifications she will try and talk me out of it.
Will question my children’s experiences whether they need health treatment for a condition. It seems she does not believe they have it.
She will bring up past relationships of mine in front of my husband. I have wondered if she thinks I made bad choices in the past.
Our children are primary aged and younger and I feel like a useful play date. But there was an occasion recently where we were surrounded by people we both knew and she was arranging an event and was verbally inviting people we were standing with and very obviously didn’t ask me.
she messaged for this school holiday asking to meet with the children and I haven’t replied. I wondered what others would do in this situation.

OP posts:
TheDuck2018 · 01/11/2024 07:39

Literally what you are doing...nothing at all. Just ignore her.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 01/11/2024 07:43

Anyone who mentions previous relationships in front of your husband is not your friend. She’s trying to cause trouble and clearly doesn’t like you.
Ignore her and get on with your life.
She sounds vile.

tuvamoodyson · 01/11/2024 07:44

‘Sorry! Lots on at the moment, another time perhaps’

Member984815 · 01/11/2024 07:52

Just ignore her , she doesn't sound nice . Be busy and out of contact

Attelina · 01/11/2024 07:55

Ignore and block.

MSLRT · 01/11/2024 08:07

I was listening to something on the radio about after seeing a friend would you rate them as a +2 (so you feel good after seeing them), a 0 (so the time was pleasant but a bit meh) or a -2 (where you come away feeling negative feelings or irritated). She definitely sounds like a -2. You don’t need her in your life. It has made me really think about the people I see and whether I want to waste time on people who make me feel crap.

HelplessSoul · 01/11/2024 08:09

Long term friend?

Long term cunt more like.

Block her sorry ass and live your life with happiness, not with parasites like that.

toomuchfaff · 01/11/2024 10:47

MSLRT · 01/11/2024 08:07

I was listening to something on the radio about after seeing a friend would you rate them as a +2 (so you feel good after seeing them), a 0 (so the time was pleasant but a bit meh) or a -2 (where you come away feeling negative feelings or irritated). She definitely sounds like a -2. You don’t need her in your life. It has made me really think about the people I see and whether I want to waste time on people who make me feel crap.

This.

Time shouldn't make a difference in whether you keep someone around. She sounds absolutely delightful, definitely a -2. If she were a new acquaintance would you strive to make her a friend? No, then ditch her toxic and move on.

Rosesanddaffs · 01/11/2024 10:54

@Mrssmith3 I would continue to ignore, she will eventually get the message.

You don’t need to hang around with shit people who make it their mission to bring you down xx

ffsgloria · 01/11/2024 10:56

This person is not a friend. Friends do not treat you like this. Ignore.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 01/11/2024 11:00

Well she’s not really your friend is she? The longer you go without any contact with her the more clearly you will see it. Just quietly move on without her, you won’t regret it.

Stormyweatheroutthere · 01/11/2024 11:02

I had a similar friend.. Always available when it suited-when she had nowt else on or needed a lift (her pre driving years) ... . Dumped us during the school holidays - actually dawned on me she was quite envious of my (quite) well behaved dc while her 2 were manic. I just stopped messaging her full stop. Been 9 years now.

Candystore22 · 05/11/2024 12:18

What exactly does this friendship bring you? Be honest. Is she actually a friend or someone you’ve known for a long time and shared experiences with?

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