Candles and Halloween

[Chimbos]

Out trick or treating with my kids this evening. I stay right next to them as they are quite little and on quite a few doorsteps there were real lit tealights inside pumpkins. I do realise that the chances are low but soooo many kids wear those super flammable dresses and it would just take a kid bending down near a pumpkin with a large mouth and a candle pushed next to it for the dress to go up in flames. Perhaps I’m being paranoid but AIBU to nudge people towards either using LED tealights or keeping the pumpkins out of reach of children?

Thanks OP. I used LED lights in my pumpkins for the first time this year after a long break from celebrating Halloween and as a result was less careful than usual in placement. One set of parents did seem anxious and told their brood to "mind the pumpkins", I told them they were LED and they noticeably relaxed.

It does makes sense when there is a safe alternative to minimise the risks of small kids + floaty polyester + flame (even if encased in a pumpkin)

Also, not having to keep running around replacing/relighting them was great!

All I’m after is for people to get the message that pumpkins can be dangerous. All these argumentative responses are helping me do this by getting more people to read the thread so thank you.

Similar here.. a neighbour with little toddlers stopped for a chat and the toddlers were grabbing for the pumpkins. One less thing for the parent to worry about.

Of course you have a right to ask people to consider something.

OP isn’t forcing anyone to do anything.

I’d say a lot of people would be glad to help protect children from an accidental burning. They simply may not have thought about the risk before.

Thanks for bringing this up OP.

Yeah hopefully people read it and realise it’s on them to parent and not try to dictate to others what they do or don’t have on their own property. Mind your own business

@JollyPinkFox

Not sure what the legal situation is but the home owner might be liable if they don’t take reasonable care?

”the occupier has a legal obligation to ensure your reasonable safety while you are in that location”

But, most of all, who would want to risk children having horrible accidents if they can easily prevent it?
I’m actually really surprised by some of the posts on here.

Yes. She is saying people are terrible for using real candles. She is not saying people are terrible for:

• buying inappropriate clothing for their child
• not conducting a visual risk assessment for their child
• not educating their child to avoid ‘stepping over’ naked flames

I wonder why people are reacting.

The sad reality is bad things happen to people everyday. Some of which can be avoided, some are freak accidents. I for one don’t put naked flames in the direct path of children coming to my house (because I’m also a parent). I also don’t expect other parents to mitigate all risk on my behalf.

I don’t see where she has said people are terrible. She didn’t even say that people shouldn’t use real candles. Her point was about not placing pumpkins with real candles in danger’s way on doorsteps where they can be knocked over. It’s a good point because I saw exactly that scenario the other day with groups of excited children bustling past. The point about flammable costumes that other people have raised is also important. It doesn’t need to be about anyone being terrible. I really don’t see why people are getting so het up. If we’re inviting children onto our property I think we bear some responsibility to keep them safe from known hazards. Same if we’re parents and choosing their costumes.

And I completely agree with your points that parents need to educate their children about taking care around flames and keeping an eye on their children. Unfortunately, we can’t mitigate every single risk, but if we can do simple things to reduce the risk I don’t see why we shouldn’t.

YANBU

I’m another one who is surprised at the voting.

We use artificial tea lights; they’re flickering ones and look just as effective. And they’re much safer.

Maybe it depends on the houses you’re visiting but lots around here have an enclosed doorway as houses are set back a little from each other and pumpkins mean that there is very little space for the children to stand in to knock on the doors. Lots of pumpkins have large mouths or they could easily be knocked, and an accident only takes a split second.

And many costumes, including from reputable places, are not fire resistant and have warnings on them. I’ve just looked at a couple from Tu (Sainsbury’s) and they say to keep away from fire.

As a PP said, you don’t even need to swap to electric candles. Just put any pumpkins with real candles away from the doorstep or path where the kids will be walking.

That doesn’t mean what you think it does.

What does it mean so?

400 people have taken the time to read this post and vote or comment. Whether or not you think I’m being unreasonable, I’m sure at least a few people will think more carefully about where to place their pumpkins next year. So thank you all ❤️

I’m shocked at the voting.

I was also horrified to see a “keep away from naked flames” label in DGS’s costume (bought from a big high street brand) this year. I can’t believe that kids costumes still aren’t legally required to be flame retardant like nightwear. The most likely occasions that young DC will be around naked flames (birthday parties and Halloween) are the times they are most likely to be wearing dress up costumes…

I never thought candles in pumpkins were that much of a risk until I witnessed it happen. It was horrendous and happened so fast. Those costumes go up in flames in seconds and turn into an evil, reigniting molten mess that sticks to your skin.

@Mipil

You’re shocked at the voting because people are reacting to the post being centred on “candles” as the problem, when fundamental outrage (as is yours) should be focused at poor quality dress-up clothing. Being more conscience of naked flames is the back-up mitigation, not the solution.

Very significant nuance, hence the voting.

😂 nice thought but read the responses.. most people are irritated because they don’t want to be told that it isn’t sensible to have naked flames at ground level when there are going to be children around with those terrible costumes on. It must have been 10 years ago that Claudia winkleman’s daughter was burned.. that isn’t a battle we can win here.