Should I have been missing them more?

[DanInTheMirror]

DH took the young DC to PIL for a couple of days this half term. They've been gone from Tues lunchtime to Thursday lunchtime. I've been working that whole time but On Wed evening I went out drinking with a female colleague.

He has come home and is off with me as "all I've done is work and drink" and then made shitty comments I hadn't sorted Halloween stuff. I mean they have costumes and I took them trick of treating but he said minimal effort

He said I didn't seem to miss them v much and I've just "been boozing".

If your H took your DC off for a couple of days would you be pining the whole time? I missed the kids a bit but I was working the whole time and then a few drinks while they're away....it's not a big deal is it? The house does still look the same and I didn't do housework.

They were away for 2 days and 2 nights in total. Daytime - I was working. One evening I did some laundry and went to bed. The other evening - I went out. I don't know when he thought I was going to clean the house from top to bottom!

What an arse!!

What happens when you take the DC away without him?

I love my kids and look forward to going back home to them/them coming back to us but I don't miss them terribly or give think about them all that much while they're away.

Your 'D'H is being an arsehole and trying to play on some guilt he'd like you to have for... having a drink with friends while you have a break. Bloody hell.

He can fuck off

He is being very unreasonable.

and also I suspect a total hypocrite - if you went away with the kids for 2 nights, would he clean the house ? I bet he wouldn’t.

he seems to resent you enjoying 1 evening out. Which is pretty shit of him tbh

How dare he. I bet you very rarely take any me time if that's his reaction. I bet he had to do feck all at his family also!

Call him out in it now. You are a human being and need some down time. He either apologised or I would definitely make his me time a pain to even the playing field.

Ring fence and maintain me time weekly nobody can give from an empty well. Do not give in to this attitude.

And it is perfectly normal not to miss or pine they were barely gone and you were bloody working. Are we meant to be robots?

He is pissed off he had to actually parent his own kids for 2 days.

Sounds like he is spoiling for a fight so he can flounce off and have some me time. Quickest way to big himself up is to put you down.

I hope this is a one off @DanInTheMirror

Er, no. It’s an ongoing joke that I love it when he/the children go away for a couple of days! It’s my time to do my own thing and he has no expectations that I’ll be rushing around doing chores in the evenings (although I sometimes have a good tidy-up when they’re away). He has no problem if I go out with friends.

He’s being an arse, tell him to stop.

He's jealous. I wouldn't miss my kids if my husband took them for a few days. Fuck me I deserve the break. He however would come back grumpy and exhausted from being the primary parent for a few days.

The out drinking comment would annoy me it’s one night out with a colleague after work. I bet you packed for dc too?
What was he envisioning beyond costumes and trick or treat. If he wanted decorations etc then he was the one off work to sort it.

He's trying to start a fight, probably feels he's had a tough few days because you usually do all the parenting. He can't say that without looking pathetic, so he's nitpicking to start a fight where he can get his frustration out.

Surely Halloween decorations are done with the kids, I don't know many adults who sit carving pumpkins on their own. If anything he should have carved some when he was off with the kids and you were at work.

Don't feel bad, don't rise to it, think about whether he has any redeeming qualities.

Every one needs a break from the kids now and then if possible.

He sounds ridiculous! Of course you didn’t need to be pining, esp as it was only a couple of nights. That’s nothing!

I can quite easily be working the entire time if the kids are at their Dad and not get round to any housework. Esp if I dare to have one night out - which it was a good opportunity for you to do!

Re the Halloween “effort” what does he want you to do? I thought sorting costumes and going trick or treating was all there was to Halloween! 😕

Good god. My kids were away for a week earlier this year and I was fucking delighted to get some peace.

I actually felt awkward when people said 'bet you're missing them' because...no?

I've looked after their every need for 15 years solid, can I just enjoy my six days of not doing so please, without being bloody mum-guilted into doing otherwise.