To find it annoying and entitled when men start demanding photos?

[Lyannaa]

It pisses me off when someone starts chatting to you and they demand photos in an entitled way. You know they're probably also talking to 100 other women which I don't particularly care about but I also don't feel particularly invested to send them a whole bunch of photos of me in different situations when I will probably never meet them.

I'm always happy to do FaceTimes if people genuinely want to check I exist. But I don't feel like giving them to-order photos. AIBU?

Its possibly a good thing, saves you wasting time on them before you dump and block

Well I'm a woman and if I was online dating/chatting to someone I fancied on FB, I'd want to see more photos of them too.

Preferably holding today's newspaper instead of a fish 🤣🤣

I think the predominant attitude is, "if you don't ask, you don't get."

And, one of the things that the internet makes easy, is the possibility of sending the same message to hundreds of different people - and so then they don't need a high success rate.

Certainly would annoy me too.

I think it shows their true intentions

And, one of the things that the internet makes easy, is the possibility of sending the same message to hundreds of different people - and so then they don't need a high success rate.

You hit the nail on the head!

I have six recent photos on my Hinge profile and refuse to share anymore until after a first date, and only if we like each other and a second date is on the cards.

The additional photos tend to be of my day though - like a nice sunrise or a cute dog I've seen, as opposed to my tits post-shower.

Does anyone on MN actually know what entitled means?! It is bandied about like a baby at a Christening. To use call someone 'entitled' because they requested a picture is ridiculous, as is many other uses of the word (my MiL is being entitled because she wants to see my child', my DH is entitled because he breathes in and out')

Yes, this.

Whenever I’ve received friend requests from men I don’t know or messages wanting to “chat”, I ignore or block.

Why would anyone engage with probable scamsters/letches?

I know. I was being sarcastic. They can't be arsed so..or else they just want wank fodder.

Err when I was on the dating scene (couple of years ago!) I found that guys asking for ‘photos’ didn’t want your usual selfies and you doing things..they wanted sexy photos (I assume wank fodder!). Honestly if this guy has ‘slid into your DMs’ as the kids say, starts requesting photos, I would suspect yuck - block him and move on!

I‘ve never heard anyone use this word outside of mumsnet. It’s the go to insult here.

How exactly do they “demand photos in an entitled way” OP? Hard to judge without more context. Could be innocent - I would want to know what someone I’m chatting to looks like too. Could be sleazy.

I’d find a Facetime call with someone I’ve never met really awkward. I’d much rather see a few photos and then meet up in person.

Do you mean a stranger randomly messaging you on social media ? Saying that your posts made him interested in getting to know you? That could easily be a scam and if not do you really want a video call with someone who is casting his net that wide? I always block them.

A random bloke that you don't know from Adam, have never met before, have no mutual friends with and is rarely even on the same continent as you who slides into your DMs is unlikely to be a good match/catch.

These messages aren't worth the seconds you spend reading them. They're just good old fashioned internet weirdos.

Except, that's not even what I said. The tone is what is entitled. And I think men are entitled, generally when it comes to women. Not all, but a lot.

He didn't just pluck me out of Facebook - we were both commenting on an article and then he messaged me.

Anyway, my point was never that I expect to meet a keeper this way.

I agree and I find it really gross. It can feel like harassment. When I was OD all of them and even the well mannered and respectful ones would be demanding photos and then chasing you up if you didn’t do it immediately.

Fuck off; your entitlement to be endlessly titillated isn’t my problem.

Be it tone or action, you were using it inappropriately
Saying all/most men are entitled is rather ridiculous and unfair

@ClytemnestraWasMisunderstood you may think that you're the authority on what words mean and how to use them.

I know what entitled means. And men are entitled, quite often. They expect an unequal dynamic in their favour.

I did not say all men. I said often.

No you didn't.
But crack on

What? She literally said ‘not all but a lot’. OP, I know someone who is happy with someone they met via social media but this Facebook random bloke sounds dodgy as hell and is already annoying you. I’d knock it on the head.

I agree, there is a lot of emotive language in this post: entitled, demanding, owe... In reality, this is probably more to do with OP's own biases and perceptions. I struggle to see how anyone can "demand" anything online. "Send me a picture right now or else.."? Is that what's happening? Or is it a simple request which you are free to disregard at will. The latter, I would imagine.