AIBU to flash my hazards for "thank you" or is it actually rude 😬

[Newusernameforthiss]

I learnt to drive very late (mid 30s) and I'm pretty nervous/cautious. I live in London, where the average standard of driving is terrifying and you have to be super aggressive to get in and out of gaps etc.

I have learnt to flash my headlights, and that this means "go ahead" if you're waiting by a line of parked cars or "go on your turn" at a junction. Or even just a pass-agg "I'm here" if honking would be a bit much.

When I let people in ahead of me in a queue/merging, they often flash their hazards once at me, so I took it to mean "thank you" so I do it too now.

When I drive outside of London, I do "thank you hazards" and people put their headlights on full or honk at me 😬😬😬 is it rude outside the M25? Is it rude everywhere??? And I've completely misinterpreted it? This stuff is a nightmare. I've only just got into the groove of remembering to bring biscuits every time I go on a playdate for the children. Obviously my first priority is driving safely but I hate there's some kind of etiquette code I have no idea about???

YABU - flashing you hazard lights is rude
YANBU - thank you hazards are a thing

@TheSilkWorm · Today 16:56

I know it's the convention but I absolutely hate it. I don't need to be half blinded by your lights, I'll assume you are thanking me with a wave I can't see in the dark.

Your post makes no sense. Someone putting their hazards on for 2-3 seconds to thank/acknowledge someone is not 'flashing lights' and there's no way it's 'blinding people.' The 'hazards' are merely the indicators/blinkers.

Do people 'blind you' every time they indicate? If so, then I think you need to surrender your driving licence.

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Round here, (not London but SE) it's fairly standard to use the hazards to thank a car behind.
Up round my parents in Lancashire they don't use it at all.

I drive a small MH as my daily vehicle.
Flash my headlights to tell lorries or cars they can pull back in in front of me.
Lorries 99% of them time show me their hazards to say thank you.
Cars never do.
I always use hazards to thank ( what I think of as) lovely road manners - usually lorries letting me know it's safe to pull back over.

This stuff is a nightmare. I've only just got into the groove of remembering to bring biscuits every time I go on a playdate for the children

Agree on hazards being normal for thanks, but what’s the deal with bringing biscuits on playdates?! Is that a thing?

"You shouldn't be flashing your headlights to anyone at any time apart from, as a PP has said, to say "I am here". I cannot think of any situation where that would apply as a meaningful stand alone action."

I flash my headlights to warn oncoming vehicles of a hazard eg broken down vehicle on their side of the road round a bend

flashing hazards to say thank you to the car behind us quite standard here in Kent. If people are cross with you then I assume it is because they felt they didn’t want to let you in but you squeezed yourself in and then had the nerve to ‘thank’ them…

Hazards (or an L R L R indicator) are definitely used as a thanks where I am, for pulling in to let another vehicle to overtake on single tracks or laybys, or if you let another vehicle out traffic. But if you pull in on a passing place to let someone pass the other way you'd say thanks by raising your hand. I wouldn't use it on motorways or duel carriage ways.

Ask yourself this. If you're flashed to pull across traffics and don't see a cyclist or motorcycle do you think the flashing driver will say "yes, I let them go"? Do you imagine your insurance will uphold any claim? Do you think if someone flashes you out and changes their mind and t-bones you is going to say "yeah my fault"?

The only person that should decide if you go is you.

All this "polite" light flashing gets on my last nerve. And that's nothing compared to the persistent flashing of drivers whose "polite" advice you've declined.

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Flashing headlights could mean, go ahead, thank you, I m about to to overtake. or there's a speed trap ahead,, on the motorwayi it could be a signal to an overtaking wagonj that it is clear of you and ca pull in or you could flash your ihazards for that

I love all the flashing lights and waves language of car driving. Makes me feel like a proper grown up.

I'd like to know what is the car light morse code for : "Oh sorry! That was really stupid of me and completely my fault".
I need to use that one.

Both are unnecessary

Flashing headlights as thanks when oncoming in dusk or darkness temporarily blinds you, I can't imagine why anyone thinks that's a good idea

And people who merge in front of you then should concentrate on accelerating away but instead waste time fumbling for the hazards to say thanks are poor drivers in my opinion.

A quick wave will do, if you feel it's needed.

Flashing your full beams in the dark means "AARRGGH!!!!". What that means is left to the imagination of the person you're flashing them at.

There’s no accelerating away where I am. It’s a slow moving queue 90% of the time so not a big deal to indicate thanks.

OK I am learning so much here, people have done the LRLR thing to me and I've been like "oh wow look children their indicators are broken" but I was actually being thanked!!! Amazing

If I'm coming to your house with twins that eat everything, it seems polite to offer up some sacrificial chocolate hobnobs

I let a police car out a few weeks ago and they gave 3 blinks of the hazards to say 'thank you'. I was quite surprised as I thought it was against the highway code.

If I'm thanking someone in front, in the dark so headlights already on, then I always briefly dip them to sidelights. Never understood people thanking someone by blinding them.

I lived in the UK for seven years and I really loved this system of saying thank you. It made me happy when someone thanked me and made the process of driving around other vehicles more humane.

I would love to have this at home in Spain, people only interact with other cars to shout at them 😔

I use the indicators, left hand one for dots, and right hand ones for dashes, and I send out thank you messages and such like in morse code.
It's a bit time consuming but now I have printed out all the morse code translations and sellotape them to my steering wheel I'm getting quite good at it.
I just have to be careful if I turn a sharp corner as the translations then appear upside down, which is confusing.
I've already had a retired Major remonstrate with me over an unintended slur. 😳

Hazzard flashing cars behind to say thankyou is the norm here!

The buses always do it too when people stop and wait for them to pull out of a bus stop when indicating.

Around here (Glasgow and surrounding areas), a quick double flash of full beams definitely means ‘go ahead’. I see it pretty much every day.

I’ll also do it to say thanks if it’s dark and the other driver won’t see me raise my hand.

And using hazards to say thanks if someone lets you in is standard here, too.

I'm surprised noone has yet mentioned thanks signified by 'the Yorkshire wave'.

A brief raise of the index finger from the steering wheel by the driver of the other vehicle as you pause to let them pass.

My kids said they both felt like proper drivers the first time they used this.

Not rude, but blinding with new style headlights. When it happens to me, the glare is so strong it takes a couple of seconds for my eyes to recover, so dangerous at night.

Perhaps read the thread title again.