Are sponsored events social pressure?

[bfc1980]

I'm a teacher and recently organised a fun run to raise money to provide free surgeries for children with cleft in the Asian country where we live. These children are the poorest in the country and don't have access to any form of medical care. It's a charity I've been involved with for a number of years.

The children were asked to ask family members, family friends etc for sponsorships for it. Kids were also taught during assembly times about the charity and the work they do including a visit by the charity board members and told that it's not just about the money raised but raising awareness of the inequalities and prejudice these children face.

The event happened and it was very successful, eventually raising well over 4000gbp. Many parents at this expensive private school were really supportive at the message we were sending to their children with some of the children choosing to donate their own savings amounting to over a hundred pounds.

However, I received an email from a very disgruntled parent who wanted to 'express concern and disapproval' that children were suppose to raise money by asking family and friends and that they only donated because of the social pressure their child was put under. They apparently used this as an opportunity to explain to her children social pressure and respecting how people want to spend their own money. Person in question works for the largest IGO in the world which I found to be incredibly ironic.

Anyway, it left a very sour taste in my mouth after what was a very enjoyable and successful event. Are sponsored events a thing of the past now and was I in the wrong to organise this type of event?

You can both be right. Some kids found it useful to learn about this and use some of their own money. While some parents feel pressure to provide money they don't really want/cant really afford to yet another school event. Like it or not, there is a social pressure to do things, particularly for kids on a class where there can be intense peeer pressure anyway.

Yes I understand what you say about some people not really being able to afford a few pounds and I would appreciate that if I was working back in the UK. However, for somebody who is on a massive salary with private school fees paid for, a substantial housing allowance and no questions asked medical insurance to say that... Well it just smacks of elitism.

See this is where I think your attitude is a bit off and you’re making judgements. For all you know they are already donating chunks of their income to numerous charities, for all you know they are already doing volunteer work or bits through work for charity.

My husband & I have charities that we donate to monthly, we also have local charities which we support weekly. You wouldn’t know that though because we don’t post or “brag” about that anywhere, and we don’t do it for credit so it’s never something I’d publicise so for all you know they could be in exactly the same position.

Every charity needs money, they all have a good cause behind them. Making a good amount of money and not choosing to donate it to the charity that YOU have chosen and advertised/arranged an event for in school doesn’t mean they are elitist or never give to charity. They are right to use it as an opportunity to teach about deciding where to give/spend their money, it’s an important life lesson. Where we live even walking down our local high street you’ll have 4 or 5 charities pulling people to discuss donations, more if you go on a weekend for the market. The lesson can’t be “give to whoever asks”, there are lots of worthwhile causes doing brilliant work, you chose one you believe is worthwhile and they are able to choose which they do.

You can make children aware of things without asking their families for money.

I think you sound incredibly judgemental. Their wealth is irrelevant, people can spend their money on what they want and don’t deserved to be judged or encouraged to spend money on one charity someone has deemed acceptable.

I want to be able to choose the charities I give my money to. I wasn’t aware teachers would judge me for this, I think that’s quite sad and not really the attitude I want around my children.

They apparently used this as an opportunity to explain to her children social pressure and respecting how people want to spend their own money.

You are definitely ignoring this part of it though. You clearly think that rich people should spend their money according to your rules. You also object to them telling you this. 20-30-100, however many parents supported you, but you've started a thread about the one parent that disagreed, and your question "Are sponsored events a thing of the past now" is a massive over-reation to a tiny minority of people that don't think like you. Accept that the other parent has a point, as others on this thread have said, and next time you have an event, maybe phrase things slightly differently so there isn't as much pressure on the kids to ask relatives for money

Absolutely not at all. I just think back to when I was at school and and such a big thing was made of Children in Need and Comic Relief. I had no idea that people had become so adverse to these thing nowadays. For the record, my own children are at the school and despite earning much, much, much less than the families that attend the school (FWIW these people are literally millionaires) we don't and would never have an issue with supporting any charity that their classes are supporting.

Even if they have tonnes of money and even if you think that they need to give some to charity, it should be up to them which charity/charities that they support.

People have become more averse to it because it's becoming very very common.

Kids are frequently coming home from school, state or private, with another request for donations for a non uniform day for this, a sponsored run for that, a sponsored silence for the other.

Honestly by the time your eldest is on about year 2 you are so,so fed up with it.

There's only so many times you can go round family and friends and get sponsorship and it really is multiple times a year.

Just look at one of the threads on here about constant requests from schools for money for this and that.

As a retired teacher from mainly an independent school background, I can see both sides of the coin.

Lots of parents at these elite schools are very wealthy and give generously. The other side of the coin, is that I've also met parents who have sacrificed everything to get their child to the school and I mean everything. They only have one child, they don't go on holiday, they don't buy new clothes and they certainly don't have anywhere near the cars or houses that the other parents have.

I think the parent that emailed you may have a slight chip on their shoulder. The parent obviously felt the burden of donating or asking extended family and thought she'd let you know. I'm sure you've seen yourself, the majority of parents can let things go, let things be, do not want to "upset the apple cart"....and then there are the few that think teachers should know about everything they think and feel.

I'd take it with a pinch of salt. The parent has given you their feelings on the matter. Other parents have supported you generously. You did a good job/brought awareness/made some money, which was your ideal outcome.

Not all parents are going to be onboard all of the time. That's just life.

In answer to your original question about sponsored events, I do think parents get fed up with them, independent school or not. It does seem to be a constant barrage of requests to donate or things to remember.

Does the same parent have an issue with social pressure to do things like give up priority seats, put litter in the bin, queue, follow rules to name a few?!

I would say you 100% support them teaching their children about social pressures. I'd also want to be really cheeky and say if they taught this idea well why did the kids still feel obligated to donate 🤔 (but that really would be professional suicide 😂)

The other side of the question is sponsorship names. If you have a small family, or are new to the area and have very few people to ask to sign up then your child might feel their list of sponsors is inadequate. Even if the parents make a big donation. I do like sponsorship events but I also think it's a minefield in schools.

This type of fundraising has always been a bit off. I don’t understand how it became socially acceptable in the first place to go around hitting up your friends and family for donations.

My approach when these things come up at school is to explain to my dd that I am not a fan of the style of fundraising, but I don’t want her to feel singled out because of my principles. I then make the full target donation she is expected to raise out of my own pocket.

Of course sponsored events at school involve peer pressure. That’s why they are so popular with charities, they bring in cash.

Personally I agree with individuals supporting ‘good causes’ as they personally see fit.

I don’t agree with schools putting children under pressure to fundraise (via their families) for a charity chosen by someone in the school. It’s awful and the sooner it ends the better.

FWIW, I would never, on principle, donate to either Children in Need or Comic Relief.
never.

I really hate anything sponsored like that, I am not comfortable asking friends and family to sponsor my child to do a fun run or whatever. I don’t want them to feel obliged. I really dislike being asked to sponsor someone’s kid too, generally you feel like you can’t say no. Luckily, my son is too young for this atm but if he has to do this at school etc. then I’ll just have to make a donation so it doesn’t look he’s raised nothing!

“generally you feel like you can’t say no”

This is why sponsored fundraising is so very popular with charities. It gets people to part with their cash, either from truly wanting to support the charity or because they feel obliged to donate, even if they would rather not.

It’s awful.

Yeah, it certainly works!

I probably got that view from my parents though, I remember at junior school having the nspcc coming in to do a talk, we all got fundraising packs and a deadline to hand them back in once we’d done our fundraising. I told my parents and they said no, we’re not going to ask X Y and Z to give you money just because you’ve been told to raise money. I remember the deadline and feeling so nervous that I was the only one not handing anything in, there may have been others who didn’t but I was very conscious that I had nothing to contribute. Horrible feeling. I totally understand it though but I won’t let my son go in empty handed because I really remember how it felt. (I should add I was at private school, so am sure the teachers considered all the parents wealthy!)

I would agree with the parent.

I've felt pressurised to sponsor people I know for causes I'm not particularly passionate about...it just makes you look bad if you're the only one in a group who is not sponsoring. I really dislike it

Yes, this is how it works!
I donate for my grandchildren, for their sake so they aren’t embarrassed/ shamed.
But I think it’s really quite despicable of schools to do this.

One of the issues is that you're not just asking for people's money, but also their time and their social capital.

I have very little free time, and I don't see enough of my friends. I don't want to spend my time chasing up donations. And I don't want to bother my friends when I don't have enough positive interactions with them.

I dislike sponsored events. I would be very annoyed at how you went about this.

In this instance you decided to support this charity because you thought it did valuable work.

You then set out to teach the children that your charitable aims are very important and that they should be taking action to meet them.

You then, having taught these children how important your charitable aims were sent them back to their family and friends to collect money for your charitable cause.

It didn't matter to you whether they felt this charitable cause was something they wanted to donate to - you feel they should have fallen in line and done as you told them to.

Your job as a teacher is not to manipulate your students into doing what you want them to - it is to allow them to think for themselves and then act accordingly.

And just because it's an expensive private school doesn't mean all the children's relatives and family friends have spare money and saying no to a friend or relatives child asking for sponsorship money is very very difficult and awkward.

But maybe they want to spend their money where they want to, and donate to the charities that they want to. You seem to know a lot about their personal finances!