Haven’t paid rent in months!

[Uppoopcreek]

I’ve just realised I haven’t paid my rent in around 6 months! I don’t know how this could have happened?
ive lived here around 4 years. All I can think is I set up a standing order a while ago and it didn’t work properly?
now, I have pretty severe MH problems. Awful anxiety and depression(probable ADHD but still waiting for an appointment to start the process). I never check my bank, I’m behind with other bills, too. I’m a bury my head in the sand type of person, but worry constantly about everything, About a month ago I hit rock bottom. Won’t go into details, but it wasn’t great.
I have 3 DC, and I’m on benefits.
Help! What do I do?! Had a text from landlord last night asking me to call him, which is what’s just prompted me to look now. I was asleep when he text.

It's coming across very like the frequent posts on the excellent Reddit DWP and benefits helps forums where people pop up to say "oh no! I didn't realise I hadn't declared my tens of thousands of pounds of savings or the change in my circumstances with my partner moving in or whatever, I thought I did but..and i've just had a call or message to explain this/ attend an interview. I have MH problems. Please be kind and help me"

Like I said on a PP, OP says she's renting a house and has 3DC so presumably, several hundred pounds a month rent for 6 months she hasn't paid and is behind on other bills but somehow didn't notice the thousands of pounds extra money she was spending and has spent it all.

On what? yes the COL is high but if it's not been spent on rent or bills..where is it?

I'm calling bullshit too, at first I thought maybe the rent is just really cheap but reading it's private landlord not the council and she has three kids so it's not likely to be a studio flat the rent must be over 900. There's no way anyone is not going to notice having almost 6k extra money in their bank account. There's also no way a landlord would allow six months rent to be unpaid and not notice most.

Things were 'hideously expensive' six months ago; if OP was spending at the same rate they'd still have (give or take) six months' rent in the bank.

As it is, they've spent the equivalent of a months rent (for a home for four people) extra per month. That's - conservatively - £6-800 per month for six months...I can't see how someone struggling with COL would not notice what must be a - relatively - massive increase in spending.

@Uppoopcreek call the landlord, apologise, and explain. Sort out your standing order, and suggest an additional payment on top to pat towards the arrears, so add £50 a month or whatever you can afford..

Right, completely understand not looking and tapping until the card stops working. I'm sure most people here can empathise with that regardless of whether or not they've experienced it themselves

Sounds like a good way to get into debt. If that’s how you manage your money then no wonder looking at your bank accounts stresses you out.
It’s a vicious circle.

I've been there. Whilst many will say it's lies or you knew what you were doing there are those of us who know exactly what this is like.

I was almost evicted twice for burying my head over unpaid rent. I never checked my bank. I didn't deliberately overspend. I certainly had no luxuries to show for it. Looking back it most definitely went on my kids. I always made sure they were well dressed (next/m&s etc) and because I was buying essential items it was just a case of handing over the bank card and praying it wasn't declined. My mental health was extremely poor but the one thing that got me through was making sure my kids didn't go without. It was almost like tunnel vision, as long as they were ok and there was noone knocking at my door, I could put everything else to the back of my mind.

10 years on I watch my bank like a hawk. My rent is always paid early because I can't leave the money in the bank until it's due because I'm terrified something will happen and I won't have it available. I still have my MH struggles but I've also added to them in some respects as money now scares me. I don't like to spend it and yes my children are still clothed well but I make sure I can afford things first.

You have to face this head on. You need extra support. Do you have a children's centre with family support practitioners? Maybe look at home start as they provide support too. There's many charities out there that can provide financial support. Have a Google and reach out to what seems most appropriate. I promise you it does get better but only if you take full responsibility of your actions and are open and honest with those you need to be (LL and guarantor)

Things absolutely won't get better of you continue to hide away and pretend it doesn't exist .

Good luck.

Perhaps its only me, but I feel sorry for the landlord and the guarantor ( if this is real)
Most of the country have MH problems and anxiety at the moment. Cant be an excuse to make others suffer.
Get a Monzo card, as others have suggested and put away your rent in a pot.

Ring landlord and be honest. Ask if you can pay what you in instalments on top of your rent .. and start paying as soon as you get paid.
Ring Stepchange for help

Has there been any update from the op yet??? Or are they hiding 🤔🤔

There’s not a chance in hell you didn’t notice an extra few hundred a month. Not one. You knew.

If I was your landlord I would be starting eviction procedures straight away.

You are likely going to lose your home, any trust in you anyone has, and nobody will guarantor for you ever again, so it’s likely you will struggle to ever get somewhere else.

@Fraggeek There’s absolutely nothing wrong with supermarket clothing.

Children dressed in Asda, Sainsbury’s, Tesco, Primark etc are still dressed well, just as well as your children were.

Are your children safe @Uppoopcreek?
If your life is so chaotic you cannot pay bills, are your children well cared for? Attending school? Being fed and clothed? Loved and not seeing the chaos?

I am a landlord, as it happens. I wouldnt evict but I would be pretty furious, and would take extra care and rent only to people not on UC. ( what I do anyway).

Not true for everyone on benefits

My landlord when I was unemployed was the opposite he solely rent out to people on benefits because the money is guaranteed every month whereas someone self employed their income can vary every month for example. That's what he told me and no I didn't not tell him when I found a new job 😂

Tbh I think op is lying there's no way someone can not notice having an extra 6k spending money. I used to think people were being paranoid when they'd say bots/trolls were posting on Mumsnet to wind people up but there's been a lot about landlords and renting in the news recently so maybe it is a troll

My rental is private, it’s £750 pcm and housing benefit covers £500 of that, so I make up the £250 shortfall. Yes I would notice the extra money in my account, but it would be very easy to “lose” £250 a month when everything is so expensive. It’s also easy to spend it thinking you’ll top it back up, but that never happens when you’ve got next to nothing anyway does it? Split down over a four week month it wouldn’t even cover a weekly shop for a family of four.

I don’t agree with what the OP has done, but I can see how it’s happened.

EDITED - I didn’t realise the housing benefit didn’t go direct to the landlord in this case, apologies!

Isn't that discrimination...?

How bitter, not to mention inaccurate.

Yep. Didn’t the law change around this recently too?

Who cares? Can’t prove it 🤷‍♀️

People saying it’s easily done I don’t get this,if you’re spending more than you think you’ve got then surely you must think you need to check the bank account.
you can’t keep going to the shop and spending you would expect the card to be refused due to lack of money.
if you get £300 a week benefits/wage and you’re spending £500 are you not asking yourself where is the money coming from ?

its been 6 months so potentially over £3000 extra (if it is really cheap rent ) and potentially over £6000.how do you not notice this extra money ?

id be expecting the guarantor to be contacted to potentially pay this off,and maybe an eviction notice,

You can contact the DWP and ask them to pay the landlord rent directly

It's unlikely ops rent is cheap as it's private and she has three kids so probably not a small place unless she lives somewhere really cheap which most people don't. Plus she hasn't paid ANY rent for six months I just don't believe anyone can accidentally not notice they havent been paying their rent for six months. Like fair enough you may accidentally not pay some of your rent but she apparently hasn't paid any for six months without noticing I just don't believe ut

@OneSparklyHelper well aren't you a delightful human being full of compassion. 🙄

Is it? I only rent to working professionals. When I was renting myself, every landlord asked to see my salary statements and a hefty deposit.
Perhaps I am a leech then.