Haven’t paid rent in months!

[Uppoopcreek]

I’ve just realised I haven’t paid my rent in around 6 months! I don’t know how this could have happened?
ive lived here around 4 years. All I can think is I set up a standing order a while ago and it didn’t work properly?
now, I have pretty severe MH problems. Awful anxiety and depression(probable ADHD but still waiting for an appointment to start the process). I never check my bank, I’m behind with other bills, too. I’m a bury my head in the sand type of person, but worry constantly about everything, About a month ago I hit rock bottom. Won’t go into details, but it wasn’t great.
I have 3 DC, and I’m on benefits.
Help! What do I do?! Had a text from landlord last night asking me to call him, which is what’s just prompted me to look now. I was asleep when he text.

@Littletreefrog fair point thank you. I didn't think of that 🫤

My thoughts exactly. Apols but what is COL ?

I get a small amount of housing benefit and it's always paid directly to the landlord .

Cost of living.

Usually people mean cost of living

I am a landlord, and I’m not judging you.

Your explanation of what has happened, and the COL initially sounds implausible, even though it may well be the case, if you were overwhelmed.

Your landlord seems quite patient to leave things this long, but are you sure this is the first contact he has made and you haven’t left other communication unopened?

Before you speak to him you need to be very clear how you are going to be able to pay at least your current rent. My concern would be that you have been struggling financially when you have had a significant amount of additional income because of not paying your rent, so how can you guarantee this will not happen in the future?

You or the landlord can ask the DWP to pay your rent straight to the landlord. They can also deduct a very small percentage of the remaining benefits to pass on to the landlord to reduce the arrears, but it will take years to repay 6 full months rent.

This man became your landlord when his son died, an absolutely unthinkable tragedy for most of us. He is likely fighting his own demons and the last thing you need is for him to decide that he wants to move on by disposing of the property that is your home.

I hope you can sort things out.

Can you maybe contact your benefits for an advance or do you have a company similar to PCCU that could help ?

Cost of living - of course. Thank you.

Get all your paperwork together and book an appointment with citizens advice, you need to face this head on and it will really help with your anxiety.

Speak to landlord, if there is an arrears see if you can pay a little extra monthly.

Do you work with you MH? It says you are on benefits - do you not receive housing benefit?

Agreeing to only £50 a month extra when there are full months of outstanding payments is incredibly generous, I’m not sure most landlords would agree to that!

There probably isn't one because surely they would of called the op up and asked what the hell is going on after paying the first month's rent.
Not all landlords ask for a guarantor especially if she's been living there a long time pre Covid they were a lot less fussy.

Alright ignore this I just read the ops follow up comments

good luck OP. Make that call and take it from there. You got this

Yeah I had one like this too 😂 didn't put the rent up for the five years I was there during in that time rent everywhere else went up by a LOT. And I was still renting it for half what it was worth.
Unfortunately he also never bothered to repair anything. Had to do repairs myself. Fully disengaged, I think it was his only property too

This is a mess of your own making. You state you bury your head in the sand and don’t check your bank account, are surprised you’re 6 months behind on rent, then wring your hands and pull the ADHD/mental health card.

Your 3 children NEED you to be the adult. Step up!
Contact your landlord and if necessary Stepchange to help you sort out this mess.

Do you have any of the money you would have paid for rent and bills? Are you on uc or pip? If it is utilities register as vulnerable to avoid being cut off. If any council tax is outstanding that needs to be a priority like rent. Can you get an urgent appointment with CAB to support you making offers to repay and check you are receiving all the relevant benefits?

I'm not on benefits and I don't buy coffees out or eat out or impulse buy because I can't afford it. It's honestly not rocket science that these are not within your means on benefits.

I’m surprised your landlord hasn’t noticed. Are you absolutely sure the payments haven’t gone through?

Having been both a tenant on benefits and a landlord of someone on benefits, I am convinced that the best way for both is for the landlord to be paid the rent directly by the benefits office. I didn't know it was still possible, @butterpuffed, like @ByQuaintAzureWasp, I thought it had been stopped decades ago.
I'm sorry about the mess you're in, @Uppoopcreek, I hope you can come to terms with your landlord. There is much wise advice about your situation up-thread, I hope some of it helps you.

Presume your (new) landlord is only now catching up with things after the death of his son?

Also I would think that the next thing he'd do is get onto your guarantor and get all the arrears from her. Rather than make a payment plan with you - he'd rather get all his money owed from the guarantor, and then you and your friend can have a payment plan.

Just thinking about your examples ... when I was a kid money was short. If you went for a walk, you walked from home, no car journey
There was no hot chocolate at the park, ever.
We never went to 'soft play' and I can't recall ever going out for lunch.
We didn't have the money, end of.
We need to get back to the principle that if you don't have the money you can't have 'it', whatever 'it' is.

Same here. It just didn’t happen and you had to get on with it! I think, on balance, it was a better lifestyle.

I had a small period of unemployment where I claimed benefits, just literally put in a standing order that comes out the same day.
Not everyone gets all their rent paid by benefits sometimes it's just half of it especially with rent being so expensive and benefits for rent are capped on how much they will pay.

No. It doesn't work like that. Countless people have no idea at all how much money is in their account. They often find it too triggering to look. They just tap their cards with their fingers crossed there's enough to cover their purchase. When there isn't they have to borrow from friends, use foodbanks or go without. When there is they're just very grateful.

This, and the op, is really unhealthy behaviour. It's far more likely to make issues for yourself that will cause even more stress and anxiety than checking your bank account will. There may be unnecessary charges coming out of your account, fraud, anything. It's honestly really not good to bury your head in the sand.

I also don't believe you can not pay rent for 6 months without realising. Even if your rents somehow only £200 a month that's over a grand you've spent that you shouldn't have. You don't spend that much money without realising you shouldn't have it. Maybe the first month, at a huge push two, but I'd be much more inclined to think you realised and thought oh well he's not realised maybe I can get away with more. And yes that's coming from someone with history of being bad with Money and spending talking from experience. (I got myself into a lot of unnecessary debt , thankfully I'm not like that anymore).