How to people afford to live separately

[Catnap25]

To make this short, me and my partner want to separate. Children getting a bit older now, we'll probably wait until oldest has finished gcse though.

Our incomes are very average, I earn less than 2000 a month, partner in the same situation. We are okay financially together as the mortgage is relatively low but how do we manage to live separately? He says he won't be able to afford to rent and give maintenance so we might as well wait until children are both 18.

Just wondering how everyone else does this? Apply for a council house? Rents for 2-3 bedrooms are about £1200 a month and that's before council tax and bills!
TIA

Sell the house, split the equity as your deposit each and get as long as mortgage as you can to make it as cheap as you can. You both need to speak to a mortgage broker. The houses will be smaller. Colleagues have had to take money from their parents to be able to buy out and stay in their house.

Well first of all he doesn’t get to decide if he can “afford” to give maintenance- he has to, and CMS decide how much. They don’t care what his rent is, he still has to pay towards his children.

The real answer is that it is harder, money is tighter, and you have to make changes to lifestyle to adjust to becoming a one income household. It’s hard and there’s no easy way unfortunately.

We separated in 2015. I moved to rented with our son as I earned more. He stayed in the house which was actually mine but he'd lived there for years.

After three years we sold at my request, I gave him half the equity which he used to clear his debts..he then rented a flat. I had a better job by then and used my equity to buy the house I'm still in six years on. He moved to another nicer rented flat three years ago.

Son is in yr12 and will hopefully get an apprenticeship next year so maintenence will stop then. I don't think ex will buy until his dad passes if at all.

Equity was about 35k each but I've still got a pretty hefty mortgage which runs to age 74 which isn't great.

I'm inclined to think that with things being so expensive these days, the only way you can split AND keep a roof over both your heads, is if you're still able to get on OK, and are able to agree to live separate lives in the same house. Would that be a possibility in your situation OP? Another thought is, would it be possible to split your current home in some way, so that you can both have your own separate parts? For example, in my old house, we had front and back doors, and could, with a bit of work, have adapted it so that one lived upstairs and one lived downstairs, but of course not all houses lend themselves to that. Another thought, and again, this would only work if you're able to be civil to each other, is would it be viable to have an annexe of some sort built in the garden, so that one of you could live in there? These are just all ideas that have sprung into my mind, but at the end of the day, if things aren't amicable, then it's going to be a lot harder for both of you.

A lot of people in this situation sell and use the equity for a shared ownership property with a small mortgage. Others have the NRP in a studio or 1 bed.

You're right in that neither of you would be able to afford rent on a property with multiple bedrooms in most areas. In some couples who are splitting, one buys the other out.

It’s a nightmare.
75% of the council tax, all bills, overheads and utilities, maintenance, boiler repairs, insurance, heating, all paid out of one salary.

And if you stay single all that out of one pension.

Birdnest? Keep current house which has a fine/small mortgage if I’ve understood correctly. Rent/buy a 1 bed flat/crash pad. Keep everyone’s stuff and the kids in the house. Parents alternate where they stay. Just might be a good idea if you have a small mortgage (and therefore some spare cash?) and are on good terms (you’re happy to stay together til kids are 18 so it can’t be too toxic to birdsnest?)

Its a lot harder for people to split and continue the same sort of lifestyle as they had before.

One option that could work IF you get on is for you to keep the house and then rent a small 1 bedroom place nearby. You then take it in turns to stay with the children whilst the other stays in the flat. Could be a compromise until the kids leave home when you can then each buy a smaller place as wont need to accommodate the kids.

You should also look into what benefits you would get once split and each on a lower income. you may be able to get some of your rent paid for etc.Not sure how it all works but worth investigating.

Would you be entitled to UC?

I'm a lone parent renting. I am fortunate to have a housing association property and I get UC as a lone parent. When DC starts full time work and I Iose UC he will need to contribute to bills and rent unfortunately. I will also likely have to downsize to a 1 bedroom place when he moves out.

A council house is rarer than hen’s teeth round here. I don’t know the answer to this- I suppose housing benefit would go some of the way towards private rental if you qualify for it.

You won't get a council house. Partner pays maintenance via CMS (not optional) and you cut your cloth to fit your resources - 2 bedroom flat each, bought or rented, kids share a room, or 1 bedroom flat and you use living room as 2nd bedroom.

Those are both quite low incomes so I am not surprised that you can’t afford to rent separately. Most people who can afford it either get benefits to assist or earn more. Could you hold on until the youngest is 18 so there’s no CSA liability? Or could both of you take steps to increase earnings?
A lot of people seem to assume you own your home but I’m guessing not.

It’s tough. Slightly different as I didn’t do it following a separation, but I lived alone for a few years when I was single, before my boyfriend and I moved in together.
I was coming out with around £2300 a month after deductions and my rent/bills/council tax came to around £1400.
It left me with enough to live off each month but saving to eventually buy a house was impossible.

You make the most out of a bad situation. Rent one bed, bunk kids into a bedroom and have a pullout couch in the sitting room. That's how I grew up with a single mother and it was pretty normal for most of my friends as well. My friend and her husband lived in a one bed flat for 15 years with kids sharing before they were able to upgrade to two beds. They still sleep in a sitting room but kids have a bedroom each now.

I stayed in marital home with DC until youngest was 18. I worked four jobs to pay mortgage. XH had to pay me 20% of his net pay as CM, He rented a tiny flat which meant he could only have one DC overnight on sofabed which was fine as older DC refused to stay over anyway.

I also got tax credits.

He quickly found a recently divorced woman with a large unmortgaged house to move in with.

Don’t worry about him, that’s his responsibility. Sort out you and DC.

Have you got legal advice yet?

Welcome to single life where you get fuck all help and get taxed more and more to help other people other than yourself yet have all the risk.

It'll be tough, might even have to get a house share ( for him as it'll be more likely to happen)

Oh sorry just saw that you do own your own house. It will need to be sold either now or when youngest is 18 to free up the equity for division. How much equity is in your house? You might be looking at small flats for each of you, maybe even shared ownership. That might be cheaper than renting, as rents are crazy these days.

She says "the mortgage is fairly low" so it's a fair assumption to make that they own their home.

Yes I just saw that

Also if you’re not married you can only delay sale really if he agrees to it - otherwise court will order it.

£2k a month is not an average salary. There’s your problem. It’s not enough to run a house and family. You’ll need a flat or even a house share. I wonder if there’s another women with kids who would rent a house together with you.

I think a lot of people just stay together bc they can't afford to live separately.

That's why there's a bigger strain on social housing now.
When a couple split, 2 homes are needed.

It basically is really, average UK salary is 34k which is around £2200 a month after tax & NI, not factoring in pension which would reduce it further