Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Respond or don't respond

9 replies

mamajong · 30/10/2024 10:44

Long story short DH had a longstanding female friendship, no history of anything other than friendship, she has lived overseas for years so it's just been the odd call or text. DH and I both have friendships of the opposite sex, no issue there at all. After her long time partner left, she became quite needy, wanting to call and message DH more than he was willing or able to facilitate due to his own challenges and commitments, and giving him a hard time that he wasn't free to speak. After a good couple of years of this, he was honest and explained he felt the friendship has run its course. She didn't react well at first but has now come back saying it must be because of me being jealous and insecure and not allowing female friendships.

It's not, but I couldn't care less if that's what she thinks. DH is tempted to reply saying as he has explained its because she wants more from him than he is able to give and nothing to do with me. I feel he should just not engage any further, they both now agree the friendship is over so who cares what she thinks. I've seen all the messages, DH has handled it very kindly imo but I don't believe he owes any further explanation. What would you do?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 30/10/2024 10:53

He should just leave it, silence is an answer

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/10/2024 11:03

Yup, leave it. Ignore.

Stormyweatheroutthere · 30/10/2024 11:04

A 'who's this?' message then block....

Rewilder · 30/10/2024 11:05

I’d leave it up to the person who is actually involved in the (former) friendship.

redtrain123 · 30/10/2024 11:08

I agree that silence is golden.

However, dh may feel there’s closure if he sends one more message, saying he’s happily married, and that it was his decesion to back away from the friendship, as he couldn’t offer what she was requiring if him. Maybe dh feels he owes it to her, as she’s a long term friend.

Pherian · 04/11/2024 00:55

He should probably just ignore her at this stage. If she becomes abusive and disrespectful further this is what the block button is for.

GoldCat255 · 04/11/2024 01:34

You are spot on. Don't waste any more time with this nutjob.

FetchezLaVache · 04/11/2024 02:16

I think you've posted about this before. Can't believe she's not prepared to let it lie!! Your Dh definitely owes her nothing more, but if he feels there's a chance she'll think he's not responding because she's hit a nerve, perhaps one final message along the lines of what @redtrain123 suggested, to make it clear that he has made the decision to end the friendship himself.

mamajong · 04/11/2024 11:03

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread