To think I can find somewhere like London outside London?

[Cheezywotsitforbrekkie]

We are considering a move outside London for the bigger house. Would have to be commutable, and not TOO far. As a result, a city like Birmingham is out of the question.

But I love London. I know I won’t get the big city feel if we aren’t in a city, but I’d at least like to feel like I’m living in a vibrant suburb that’s just a bit further from London.

currently thinking somewhere with a Brixton/ Herne Hill vibe.

its also the people, so want to move somewhere that attracts a fair number of quite arty types. ( we also aren’t loaded so don’t think we’d be able to go anywhere that attracts the banker crowd)

we aren’t particularly edgy ourselves ( like to think we are 😁) but friends who moved to Tonbridge wells came back with their tail between their legs…it was too dull for them and they aren’t wild!

so looking for places that are cheaper than London, a bit arty, community feel and with the obligatory nice coffee shop. Any ideas?

Surely, that entirely depends on your lifestyle and income, London has a huge population and varies wildly across the city in terms of excitement. There's definitely somewhere else like it, if you live in flat in 80s block and Lidl is around the corner. Nothing wrong with those things but statements like yours make it sound like everyone is living like the Jones family in Paddington Bear!

"But I love London. I know I won’t get the big city feel if we aren’t in a city, but I’d at least like to feel like I’m living in a vibrant suburb that’s just a bit further from London."

I think you have to be a bit less vague, to yourself as well as to MN! What exactly constitutes "the big city feel"? Is it -

Access to major art galleries?
Theatres?
Nightclubs?
Sports facilities?
Sports venues?
Restaurants?
Public transport?
Parks?

And if you have to commute into London, what's your maximum time spent travelling? How often do you have to commute in?

What are your NEEDS:
Schools?
Sports facilities?

Cities have lots of things, not all of which you will need, want, or even notice if they weren't there.

Narrow it down a bit!

Sorry the surname was Brown in PB

What exactly constitutes "the big city feel"? Is it -
Access to major art galleries?
Theatres?
Nightclubs?
Sports facilities?
Sports venues?
Restaurants?
Public transport?
Parks?

Thing is, all of those are available in other UK cities (large & small), often without the huge costs of cash & energy & time that London requires. And if you save on all of those, you can go to London for the weekend, and then come home to quiet & fresh air.

Horsham?

Stroud

Kinda my point, Southsea is much nicer than Brighton; it has similarities but with improvements - by the sea, quirky, no obviously visible homelessness and street drugs issues..

I agree , Brighton isn't that nice which is why I said like Brigton but nicer !

Yeah…. That might be it!

That and I can’t afford to buy in my local area as full of London Types coming here for artsy hobnobbing in independent coffee shops and hipster bars.

Just move to a cheaper part of London. It's a no brainer. I'm at the edge between London postcode and another county and I love it. It's affordable and 20 min to London. A place like London outside of London doesn't exist in my opinion and I have looked. :)

Hull.

Well. If you will live in cloud cuckoo land, you may as well add to the economy by living there.

Southend
Clacton
Dagenham

This .

Hastings is pretty ' arty / bohemian especially the old town . House prices very reasonable aswell

Not a popular comment I am sure, but there is nowhere like London, and definitely not somewhere similar which is commutable to London. That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of other towns and cities which are nice to live in, but you need to be realistic.

Probably the best thing to do is think what, specifically, you would miss most if you moved out of London, and think of places which can at least offer that, even if it can’t offer all of what London does. Put those places on a list. And then think about things you don’t enjoy about London and see if it’s something that you can avoid by moving to the places on your list, and narrow the list by that. Then look at what’s left, and consider if they offer something better than London (maybe being near the sea?) and by that stage you will likely have only a couple of places on the list. That will hopefully find you places you would be happy to move to.

I could never leave London because what I love the most simply isn’t available elsewhere. And yes, I have tried!

Oxford: Jericho or Summertown areas, just like London. They are crowded, old worn out buildings and grubby. Buses are crap compared to TFL though.

Derby is nice. It has many good features and my DD and her DP live there, in a large Victorian terrace in a conservation area, looking over the river Derwent and in walking distance of the town centre. There is a fairly decent theatre, some nice restaurants including one doing authentic dosa while the Silk Mill's 'Pi cubed' is very well worth the effort! There are several museums and galleries (one with a very good cafe), the PIckford Museum being most unusual with a collection of toy theatres and puppets. The town centre is attractive in places (though the Assembly Rooms are a bit Curate's Egg and soon to go or be revamped anyway) with several nice pubs (I like the Five Lamps, the Flower Pot and - slightly out of the way - the Furnace, all of which sell cask ale so one can avoid nasty keg) and several interesting churches, though the cathedral we all find a little dull. True, the Derbyon is an excrescence, and the ringroad a nightmare (I always end up in the Cockpit, which is no fun!) and the outlying housing estates are nothing to write home about - but you could say much of that of any city in the UK or Europe (have you seen the hinterlands of Venice?). It's within driving distance of the Peak District and there are an abundant number of National Trust properties. My late DH liked Derby for the pubs (Camra member) and also its nearness to places such as Buxton (various festivals and sprightly architecture) and a wide range of industrial and farming villages such as Shardlow, an inland port (6 good pubs, including one that does Christmas dinner for £93 per head if your taste runs that way) and an annual port festival. It's also 15 minutes from East Midlands airport and 45 minutes from Birmingham. What more do you want? DD and DP call it Derbados, for the grotty bit of 'beach' under the bridge near Handyside (local entrepreneur) Street, but chose it for the amenities listed and that they can walk into town and have a large park nearby.

Yawn.

If you substituted the word “London” in this sentence for almost anywhere else in the world people would rightly pile on you to tell you not to be a bigot.

Not in the UK.

Although I've heard Bristol described as "like London in the 60s"!

Hastings... Have you ever visited Hastings? It's not the vibe you're hoping for! It's been "up and coming" for at least 20 years and never quite managed it. One of the grimmest places I've been.

I would never live in London again even though I was brought up there and lived there in the 90s. Unless one has a six-figure salary that doesn't begin with'1', most of its amenities are out of reach, and living in e.g. Northolt or somewhere similar is not living in London at all. Anyway, it's dirty, messy, difficult to get round and generally an expensive and monstrous heap. Nowhere like it, indeed!

isn't Brixton london?

Ex-Londoner. Yes, Brixton is London (been gentrified, nice cafes) and so is Herne Hill.

St Albans?

Grew up in Tunbridge Wells wouldn't say its London like at all! Nor Lewes!

Brighton has the hustle and bustle of parts of London

What a pointless comment. Why do you feel the need to say this? The OP says she likes it and wants to live somewhere similar. I was simply making the point that there isn’t anywhere similar. I also made the point that there are plenty of nice towns and cities to live in which aren’t London.

Your opinion and experience of living here is wholly irrelevant to this discussion. I really do find some ex-Londoners a weirdly defensive bunch with respect to their choice to move away. I’m glad you’re happy with your decision. Why can’t you be equally happy with others’ decision to stay?

This has just made my day 🤣🤣. Admittedly I haven't been back to Aldershot since about 2005 but it must have changed a lot if it gives a London vibe 🤣🤣.

I am perfectly happy for you or the OP to like London. I am expressing an opinion, that London is not the bees' knees these days. It is a valid point for anyone seeking to live elsewhere to bear in mind that London may not be all they believe it to be - and OP seems to think Brixton and Herne Hill are not in London which suggests she lives somewhere like Nottinghill (one of the areas where I was brought up).
I am the real thing, too, with ancestry in Bethnal Green and Whitechapel.