This makes me feel like shit

[Dontknowwhattodo223]

My sister has never had to DIY herself or work out anything difficult house related because she's been with her husband since she was 18 and he does everything.
I find DIY difficult, I don't have any experience and I'm just not naturally good at it. When I find things hard or confusing she is really dismissive and acts like I'm being stupid, I was telling her about something yesterday and she was looking at me while i was talking with this horrible smirk on her face. I'm going to stop talking to her about those things but it just makes me feel awful.

How often do you talk to her about DIY? Maybe she’s just not interested. Plenty of people don’t do any DIY, husband at 18
or not.

Do you often talk about DIY?

I bought my first house a couple of months ago so I probably talk about house stuff more often than the average person...

I'm sure her husband doesn't do every single difficult house thing ever!

She possibly just doesn't want to hear DIY tales?

I mean that's probably why there's such a market for handymen! As you've said, just don't talk about DIY.

Don't talk to her - talk to your brother in law (ie the one who actually knows what he's doing).
He might be perfectly happy to help and not give criticism.

If she is judging you she's got no self awareness and is an arse.

YouTube is your friend for DIY.

Sure, you could do that, or you could answer back and tell her "wipe you smirk off your face you silly cow, you know jackshit about DIY and it is always Steve (or Ethan or whatever) who takes care of it".
That could be fun.

Can't you say to her: "Why are you smirking? Can you do this DIY-thing?"

You need to push back! Tell her the smirking and superiority are very unpleasant, so she can either knock it off or leave.

Yes my sister was the same.

Used to smirk at my DIY efforts and enjoy my discomfort.

People can be really horrid.

He does...she doesn't do any decorating or DIY.

She has no idea how lucky she is!

I'm sorry you had the same thing. It's horrible isn't it. What did you do? I think I am going to say something because it's really upsetting.

😂😂very tempting!!

Innocently ask how she would approach DIY problem. She'll either bluster or say oh DH handles all that stuff. Then you can snigger and say oof, you better hope he never leaves you or gets run over by a bus you'll be completely stuck!

I wouldn't normally be so nasty but I have a similar smug sister and she has absolutely nothing to be smug about. She stopped the sneering once I tried this approach.

she was looking at me while i was talking with this horrible smirk on her face

Unless you're a mind reader you have no clue what she was thinking. Could have been hiding her boredom over your umpteenth DIY story by vaguely smiling.

You're a new home owner (congratulations!) so this is something you think about frequently, but most people don't talk about DIY projects all that much.

Think about this...my wife's sister married a man who was a lazy slob. She (and her mum) believe that women can't do diy. The slob died a few years ago, she's in the house they bought 30 years ago with wall paper coming off the walls, living with someone else's decor from the 1980s.

My wife wasn't brilliant at diy, I've lost count of the times I had to cut paint out of her hair...but because of the nature of my job (and the fact that she had no patience so even if I planned to take a week off she'd decorate) . But she's decorated every room in our house at least 3 times in 30 years. The lounge gets a touch up every 2 years.. During lockdown we decorated the whole house between us.

In other words...your bil may be great but if they split or dies (God forbid) then she will be asking you to do.

btw no one spots the errors...I've got a mate who is in his 80s and a time served painter and decorator and he says that as long as you are fairly straight with the join between ceiling and wall it will never show.

YouTube is brilliant for how to vids...always watch 2 or 3

Honestly - when I am in the middle of rennovation projects I am really really REALLY boring about them. It consumes me. I know I’m being dull but I can’t stop myself.

I try and restrict myself to talking about it to people who know and care.

suspect your sister doesn’t really get it if her husband has always handled it. Pick your audience!

Are you talking about your house a lot, did you previously dismiss conversations about houses and DIY? I'm wondering if she just feels you've changed your tune now you have your house?

One conversation about DIY a year would be more than enough.

You sound jealous, tbh.

Ask your sister straight out to either help you or explain how to do it. That should wipe the unpleasant smirk off her face.

Maybe she just doesn't want to talk about DIY? Ask her why she's smirking.

It sounds like she married a man who is similar to my DH, who can do absolutely anything DIY related. I bet she has to listen to him blathering on about reciprocating saws and jointing compound all the time too. Like I have to. There is only so much DIY talk a non-doer can take.

You must feel proud when you do something and it looks alright and holds up well though. You certainly should be!