Am I becoming a Cinderella?

[CalmCat345]

Without the happy ending of course !
I’m just trying to see if someone else has been in similar position and any advice you might have if what I’m going through is ok.

Married for 6 years with a 15 months DC now.
I love my child and I am never bored around my DC, I can literally be with my DC all day long / going out or at home . However my issue is am I starting to lose myself in motherhood ? I have never looked more let down to be honest, I am staying at home mum now - my husband always has time for his hobbies which are gaming & gym - he doesn’t go out much it’s once in a while maybe to see his friends so he is at home but when he is doing his hobby he makes sure that I am
not allowed to ask for any help.
however today he wrote me a message that he will be busy even more now as he will be gaming 3 days a week x 3 hours( so 9hours a week, in the most crucial time when baby needs dinner and prepare for bedtime ) and plus going to gym.
it’s like a booked session so if the house is burning he will still go and start his session.

Since our DC was born he has never ever put her to bed, never woke up in the middle of the night to comfort her or to put her to bed as I’m with our DC All the time.

I’m still breastfeeding so it’s been 15 months of constant comfort & food from me
our DC never took bottle nor any other milk
I try so hard to give my DC cow milk but just refuses
I will ask for help so many times to wean DC off he really doesn’t care
i am cooking breakfast/ lunch / dinner every day
coffee/ tea / hot chocolate
when guests are coming im hosting food/ drinks/ doing shopping
im responsible for DC toys/ clothes selling/ buying so for my husband too
he might help with dishes occasionally but it’s always when it suits him
i just feel like im becoming a maid
or maybe im already one
and i feel this is all because im financially dependent on him - but it was a mutual agreement for me to stay at home not for him to take an advantage of me

As is your baby.

This thread must be very hard to read, Op. I hope that it is helping you.

Do you have access to your passport, OP? I suggest you get it and hide it now, and start making plans to move back to your family.

I’m so sorry to hear this OP. He is really horrible and selfish. Get away from him. Return to your family. Both you and your child will be better off without him in your lives.

She may have legal issues taking the child out of the country unless she gets his permission, depending on where they live, especially if it's intended as a permanent move.

You go to women's aid and ask them for advice. You will be entitled to all sorts of support from the state. There may be a place in refuge until you can sort out accommodation. File for divorce, get 50% of his assets and child maintenance, then go back to work asap.

I have been away most of the summer - there were days where he won’t even ask how his child is doing, anytime we talked it was me initiating a conversation- he was literally gaming all day long

Exactly this - It’s already hard and on the top of it this :(( ahh

I have asked both women’s and and the national one - they both suggest that I start the move out soon without he knowing

I don’t think he will stop me - he is one of those who will say “ go if you would like “
but I got it with me thank you

It sounds like he has checked out of family life and was never interested in being a father in the first place.

I would follow the advice that women's aid have given you. I don't think your husband would be fighting for custody TBH.

Good luck. You deserve better.

Sorry about your loss as well

The house is all his - but I don’t want anything from it tbh

im realizing now that he was always so well spoken in front of his family which live here in the uk but he has been yelling to me in front of my mum he has been yelling to my sibling he has been yelling in front of my dad to my sibling ….
I can’t stop crying …
he knew that he can’t yell in front of his family here the face he puts on when they visit etc ahh
I feel sick

Please do everything you can to get away. It won't get any better if you stay.

What do your family think of him?

It’s a very difficult one - if I had my family in the same country - I would have been gone tomorrow

it’s so tough
my mum never recovered since she witnessed him yelling at me in public ( he yelled at me because apparently I made us late 2 min at a show so we were waiting 5/10 min to enter as it already started)
my mum was obviously very worried since then as she thought that might have been happening every day and she got unwell very quickly after that :(