In- Law Birthday

[Tinogirl]

DH comes from a very close extended family. I think this has something to do with grandparents still being alive.

His cousin is more like a brother.

His cousin’s wife has a significant birthday coming up and is having a massive, massive party.

They have both enjoyed hospitality from us but while the cousins see each other all the time. I don’t see his wife on my own but she is friendly when we do meet.

We are not invited. A bit upsetting but I can live with it.

Cousin has confided that they are trying to conceive and this party is a last hooray but she is inviting family, friends and virtually everyone she has ever worked with who might be useful for when she goes freelance.

No expense has been spared.

So now DH has been invited to keep cousin company at this party. I am still left out.

I posted before about this couple not inviting my daughter to their wedding while my stepdaughter was a bridesmaid and more recently another cousin albeit on the other side not showing any interest in me.

I am so pissed off. DH sees why I am jealous but just sees it as keeping this cousin company.

DH is a good man and is good to me. He honestly wouldn’t bat an eyelid if this was my family.

AIBU?

How would this go down in your house?

I think the bridesmaid thing is OK. But not inviting you to a massive party where everyone is invited is just plain personal! And your DH should be standing by you and declining his invite.

Well I wouldn’t be inviting them to anything of yours anymore. She clearly doesn’t see you in a friendly way.

Sorry I have presented it wrong. She has not invited ANY of her husband’s family only HERS.

BUT now with four days to go my husband invited to keep his cousin… a grown man company.

I am jealous.

It's her birthday. I don't see why she has to necessarily invite her husband's side of the family?

However once your dh was invited, and given they've been invited to parties you've hosted, then as it's a massive party I think it's really bloody rude not to invite you too

Is she the sort of person you want to spend your time with though? I would bank the time and go out with friends another time while dh holds the fort at home.

TBH, get over yourself... Sorry. Your clarification is massively relevant! your entire IL family apart from DH excluded- you are not singled out!!

The not inviting ur dd to wedding was so wrong. This, if she doesn't want her husbands family there. It's up to her

I think that as it’s all her friends etc that her husband has said he needs someone there for him - and this is your husband.

You dont want to go anyway, it’s all her people, you’d just be there with your dh and his cousin.

BUT you always have this option in the future to play her at her own game!!

Yes, the fact that she's not invited anyone outside her own family and friends, makes this a very different situation from what I originally read from the OP.

I'm not sure why you want to go, given that you won't know anyone other than cousin and wife. This wouldn't bother me at all.

It's her party, she is allowed to invite whoever she wants. Your husband is a grown adult and free to decide if he wants to go or not. You don't have to like it but you can't change it so just move on, plan something nice for yourself that day

You now know undoubtedly she is a user.. Why would you want to be around her?
Step back.. Dh is going to keep his cousin company not her... Maybe he wil come home with some juicy gossip. Enjoy your night alone. Wish I sometimes got one!

Cant you just go?

How is she a user? She is having a party and just not inviting her husband’s family.

It would not even occur to me to invite my husband’s family to one of my parties. I like them a lot!

You’re not the only one not invited like you made it seem. You clearly don’t really like them. It’s her party she can have who she wants there. This is a massive reach and to be jealous of a birthday party is childish

I didn't agree with you over the bridesmaid issue. You said that you were in tears/hysterical about it and your first reaction was that your mutual child couldn't go without you. Did your DH relay any of that to his family? How long did it go on for (your posts were spread out, so it wasn't a matter of hours). Perhaps they've found it easier to just not involve you at all? Do you show resentment when you do go?
Fir whatever reason his family don't want to mix with you.

She is not a close relation to you. Husband goes you have a nice time doing something with your family or friends.

Jealous?

Why?

The wedding I get, as hard as it is. There was a big fall out over my wedding that involved step family but in a nutshell we were limited in numbers, and so we invited the folks we were in touch with.

Only her own family to a birthday though? And contacts for her business because they’re ttc??? Am I strange to find this incredibly odd? So the guests are only guests because she wants to ‘use’ them incase they succeed quickly. Weird weird weird!

What are you jealous of? If none of DHs family are going, it's not like you're the only one left out. I'd be quite happy for him to go to keep his cousin company and be glad of having an evening to myself to eat what I want and bingewatch true crime which my DH hates! 😂 why would you want to go to a party that's all his cousin's wife's friends, family and work colleagues where you wouldn't know anyone? Are you just possessive and don't like DH doing anything without you?

whoops--reading old posts. sorry everyone.