Double standards or not?

[Earsburning1]

When my husband and I met we both had all our exes blocked on social media as we both believe in clean breaks.

about 1.5 years ago a man who is a friend of mine, who is married and who never showed any romantic interest in me text me late one Sunday night socially. Dh said that was inappropriate and I had no further contact with the man. Wasn’t a close friend and it’s made no difference in my life having him in it or not.

tonight my husband got a text from an old friend (female) who asked how he is etc. this is a friend he knew for years and who, on the last occasion they spoke, said she found her husband and life so boring. I said this was a bit weird of her to say and was admittedly was pissed off they spent hours texting on his birthday.

when she text tonight I referenced the time he was pissed off about my male friend texting me. I genuinely don’t care about him texting an old friend, she lives hours away and they text maybe once every few years for a catch up so it’s no skin of my nose. I am annoyed though for the double standards.

or am I being totally unreasonable? Happy to be told I am. I’m 12 weeks pregnant and a tad hormonal and stressed in general.

I think a friend who's been in your life consistently for years messaging every now and them for a chat is different from someone reaching out to renew an acquaintance out of nowhere, late at night.

Yes it is double standards OP.

Definitely agree it’s double standards!

Definitely double standards.

But I also think it was very controlling of your husband to say it was inappropriate for you to reply to an old acquaintance.
Is he controlling or manipulative in other areas? Eg with the amount of contact you have with your friends and family?
I sense there could be some red flags in your relationship.

Think you're both being bloody silly, you're allowed opposite gender friends

The whole thing sounds immature and unhealthy. You have every ex blocked? That's really OTT. Who's idea was that? Are you both jealous and controlling or is it just him?

It's a double standard, but you both sound paranoid. It's perfectly normal to text people of the opposite sex.

You’re both bonkers. I’ve literally just given my husband the number of a woman from church who is in the same profession as him and has been asking to have a coffee with him for a while, because I think they’ll get along and it’ll be nice for him. But then I have a secure marriage.

You're both being ridiculous.

Double standards and controlling

You both should have the friends you choose.

You shouldn't have stopped with your friends. He was being ridiculous now.

Likewise, you shouldn't offer an opinion now on his friend.

Draw a line move on. We all need friends of either sex.

Jesus this is all mad! Why would you both block exes on social media for no real reason, it feels very 14 going on 34 to me. I regularly grab a coffee with an ex, it's nice to catch up. My husband has no concerns, he gets on OK with his too. We both have friends of the opposite sex, there's no reason not to. We trust each other not to cheat, we don't need to remove any of the options because of the trust we have in one another. So he clearly doesn't trust you because he is controlling you, it sounds like maybe you don't trust him that much either...
Honestly, I'd reasses the level of control you have over each other - it sounds like you're actually OK with him having female friends but he's not OK with you having them - maybe discuss what is and isn't OK for you both and double check you're both happy with those mutual boundaries... my view is nobody else has any say in who you text or are friends with.