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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask why dropping fertility rates are always blamed/measured on women?!

102 replies

Unreconstituted · 28/10/2024 17:47

It takes two, you know! Where is all the handwringing over men not having children?!

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/10/2024 20:13

Unreconstituted · 28/10/2024 19:28

WOMEN do not procreate! MEN and women do!

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The party weren't targeting men with their benefits manipulations and limits though, were they? On a very generalised level, as the CSA/CMS had been consistently an utter failure, there was nothing really affecting the men 50% responsible for children - but making the women and their existing children suffer seems to have been extremely successful, particularly when you consider the rate of terminations also rose steeply as soon as the full extent of financial penalties directed specifically at women started to hit.

Aimtodobetter · 28/10/2024 20:21

WearyAuldWumman · 28/10/2024 18:24

I'm childless - not by choice.

My uni boyfriend was prone to making pronouncements about what he'd expect of a wife, based - he said - on what he saw of his parents' relationship.

According to him, his mother never worked - just brought him up and had a part-time business! He gave me to understand that any wife of his would be expected have to one child and to go straight back to work.

After 3 yrs, I dumped him. (There were many reasons, but the final straw was when - after we had both graduated and were working - he told me that his dream was for us both to have our own flats in the same city.)

I got married in my 30s. When children didn't come along, I was given a laparoscopy which showed that everything was in working order. Not until after that was done was my DH checked out. He wasn't infertile, but we'd have had more chance with assisted conception. By then I was too old for NHS intervention. If I'd paid privately, all the money I'd saved for my non-existent child's future would have gone. Bit of a Catch-22 situation.

I did conceive naturally, but lost all three pregnancies, one to an act of male violence at work.

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I’m so sorry that happened to you - it sounds horrible. I hope your obvious strength of character has allowed you to build the fulfilling and joyful life you deserve despite those experiences.

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