Partners debts

[Spreadableone]

Hi,
I’m in a relationship with a great guy. We’ve been together 3 years and he lived into my house last summer. We’re both divorced with teens. He pays half the mortgage, bills and food as well a ls supporting his ex wife and kids.

I’ve just discovered that he’s £72k in unsecured debt. It’s spread across 2 loans and 3 credit cards. It’s debt that he left his marriage with, for context, he’s a fairly high earner (140k) but this means that he owes 6 months salary on non- mortgage debt!!!!

He’s up to date with everything and is on track to be clear of it by the end of 2027, but I’m just so shocked at the scale of it.

we had never really discussed the fine details of our finances so I can’t accuse him of lying.

It’s not 6 months salary - it’s a years salary really.

I’d be wanting to know how the debt was accrued in the first place ie has he got a gambling (or spending) problem.

It’s a huge amount.

Has he not managed to pay off any of this debt in the last 3 years?

Did the debt arise during his marriage? Was it why his marriage ended?

How did the debt happen in the 1st place?

The back story is relevant. Did he leave with £72k debt and its still £72k. Did he leave with £120k debt and its down to £72k. Did he need to go into devt to vacate the marriage, therefore fully understable. Those things make all the difference.

we had never really discussed the fine details of our finances so I can’t accuse him of lying

Maybe not, but that's the sort of thing I'd have wanted disclosed before he moved in

Since it appears he can afford to repay it while still contributing at yours it's probably not a major problem - providing he does keep contributing of course - but all the same I'd be wondering what else I didn't know about

So 2K per month of his income is going to pay off this debt? That is a substantial amount. It would scare me.
PSST: Why is he still paying for ex's home?

I would want to know more. Don’t marry him, whatever you do.

As pp said, if it is reducing and getting gas a plan it'll be cleared in a few years.

Why are you worried? Were you planning to marry?

When you say he pays half the mortgage what do you mean? I assume his name isn't on the mortgage or the deeds? Be careful he doesn't get a beneficial interest in the house, unless you are ok with that. If you are get some agreement drawn up.

Because his kids are still there and it’s important to him to provide for them

He was paying quite high rent until last summer which made it difficult to pay as much off.

No, it’s solely my house. I actually found out about the debt when I suggested adding him to the mortgage. He refused because he doesn’t want me to financially associated with him whilst he’s in debt. Despite my concerns, I can’t say that he’s done anything untoward towards me