AIBU to encourage my daughter to get a part-time job while in sixth form?

[mumbunz24]

My daughter just started sixth form this September at a grammar school, and I’ve noticed that not many of her classmates seem to have part-time jobs.
I’m wondering if it’s a good idea to nudge her towards getting some work experience, or if that might interfere with her studies. I know balancing A-levels can be tough, but I also believe that part-time work can teach valuable skills and responsibility.
AIBU to think she should consider a part-time job, or should I let her focus solely on her studies?

I would leave her be. I never worked at school, more important to get the best grades she can. Plenty of time as a student etc. She will be working into her 70s - there is PLENTY of time.

I think the soft skills a pt job teaches are as important as the money, though that probably isn’t something most kids would realise at the time.

timekeeping
being dependable
accepting responsibility
working with very different people/ a range of people
understanding the importance of reliability
communication/ collaboration
satisfaction from a job well done

And one of the hardest to put into words - and I don’t mean to be rude - but when I was 15/16/17 the jobs I did were pretty hard graft, waitressing, cleaning, chambermaiding, working in a canning factory, shop assistant etc. And one of the things I took away from it is that nice as the people who I worked with were, those were not the sort of jobs I personally wanted to be doing for the next 40 odd years, and that if I wanted something different I had to study hard, get qualifications etc.

I don’t think it does middle class kids who haven’t seen “ how the other half lives” any harm at all to understand and appreciate that there are thousands upon thousands of people whose daily work life is a damn sight harder, and usually pays a lot less, than the sort of work their parents and relatives do.

Some Grammar schools actively discourage 'students' undertaking any employment during term times. DD's 2 head sent letters out to all parents of Lower & Upper Sixth parents this year.
The letter suggested that even working one Friday night or Saturday afternoon a week means an average drop of a grade should be expected.

Not that my very immature and autistic Lower Sixth DD2 is likely to work before she is at least 20 ! ( that being another story and post)

1 grade drop per subject if students undertake paid employment during term time.

DS has a job but only works about 3 hours on a Saturday morning and gets paid about £60 a week, more if he works more. He can pick and choose what he works.

He rarely spends though and is saving his wages. He gets £50 a month of us plus I pay his gym and mobile.

It depends how full on her Sixth form is. DS Sixth form is quite rigid and he's got exams next week so is revising during the week. Some of his friends are working their jobs because they have to take turns with other staff during holidays, they won't accept only weekend staff

Year 12 is quite stressful as if they don't achieve their predicted or higher grades in the summer mocks, they can't continue into year 13 so if DS didn't have his Saturday job already, I wouldn't pressure him into getting one

I only really know people who did either medicine or law at university. Most worked in high school. Most were dux of their high school.

It’s important to be well-rounded, have a good work ethic, and know some of the basics of fitting into a workplace environment if one’s academic success is to translate into meaningful work.

It’s a hard balance - I think it helps that my daughter had work experience when applying for jobs post sixth form to save for uni.

She worked in the half terms and summer in children holiday clubs & picked up a shift in the local supermarket during term time. In the Feb before exams she didn’t quit the local supermarket role and reduced holiday cover to focus on studying.

It also meant that once exams finished she could go back and pick the shifts up - it’s a long time end of June to September before starting uni! And I’m glad she worked (not FT but enough for savings and spends) It meant she paid towards car insurance and petrol as well she was responsible.

The holiday clubs one when she came home from uni she could pick up shifts as well.

Absolutely encourage your dd to get a part time job.

I think it’s really beneficial at that age. I used to work 15 hours (5 hour shifts, 2 during the week in the eve and 1 at the weekend)
It was slightly too much. I’d finish art college, then head to straight to work for my shift till 10pm. I ended up dropping one of the weekday shifts during term time but picked up extra hours in the holidays, as I was a good worker.

I loved earning my own money and the independence it fostered. I also liked making different friends outside of the school environment. It opened up my world more.
I worked whilst at uni too. It never interfered with my studies.

I taught sixth formers and the difference in maturity and responsibility between those who worked and those who didn't was incredible. She'll gain such a lot by working.

Think of her UCAS personal statement, too. I loved seeing what students had to say about their jobs. Unless a student is training in a sport etc it's very difficult to write a good statement.

@GinnyPiggie I agree it's good to work, I'm saying both mine have had jobs paying the adult minimum wage which is over £10 an hour. Paying 16/17 year olds £6.40 an hour is exploitative and I don't agree that it's ok to pay under 21's a lesser wage either. Their costs aren't all lesser, many 18 year olds have left home.

I think if you are working for less than £10 an hour, in this current CoL, and you have to travel there, you are probably paying yourself to go for work.

Young people should be safe from exploitation, and with that has come increasing regard for safeguarding, and the number of jobs available to 14/15 is almost nil, and 16/17 is less than it used to be in the past, for the reasons outlined in this thread. Not impossible, just rarer and so their experience of rejection will be higher, which is no bad thing, but I walked in and got my first job at 14 for Sun in a cafe, but my children had to make a CV, do 20 applications each just to do similar in Costa these days. Times have changed, whatever anyone says.

This is the last year of UCAS statements, the current year 12s will have to answer 4 questions and not do a statement.

And paid work doesn't mean they are better, you are really devaluing voluntary work which my DS does more of than paid.

He coaches an under 8s team and an under 11s team for free

Is a young leader and runs a squirrels group which he plans and leads every other week

He started up and runs a book club once a month

And works as a referee on a Saturday

He also trains for his own foot team once a week and plays for them once a week

Ds was thinking about trying to get a part time job and I told him it was his decision. But I’d actually prefer him not to during term time. A levels, the gym, socialising and driving lessons ( when he turns 17) is enough for him to be getting on with. He doesn’t need a part time job.

100% YANBU. I had a Saturday job in a cafe from 14. I loved the freedom it gave me and I had my own money, and as I eventually moved to work for a national chain I transferred when I went to uni and took the job with me. It taught me the importance of work and being professional from an early age. However, with A-Levels coming up I’d watch how many shifts she puts in. I used to do a Saturday full day and didn’t cover extra on a Sunday unless all homework and revision was done. Also didn’t work lots of extra shifts the holidays prior to exams, a day or two here and there but some employers would want the students to work the whole way through holidays. I remember my mum having to have a word with my manager when I got my shifts through for the holidays before my AS Levels (I went back and was directly into exams) and I had only 3 days over the two weeks when I wasn’t in work. Manager wouldn’t listen when I said I needed the time off to revise.

My 6th form DD works weekends.
I worry that it does eat into her time she should be studying as she isn't the organised sort as she has adhd and autism.
However, last year her mental health was awful and we had only 40 percent school attendance. She used to lie in bed all day and all night except for the days she had work.
There was an occasion where she was discharged from hospital after an OD and went to work that evening.
It kept her going, it gave her something to do and it told her she could keep at things even when everything was hard.
For that I am very grateful

Xx

i won’t be encouraging a part time job until uni. My son also didn’t work until summer 1 at uni, then summer 2 internship and now he’s got a graduate job offer a year before graduation. I’d rather she focussed on getting good grades

Both my dds worked through sixth form and both are still working through uni. They have great social skills, are employable and can manage time and tasks given to them.
Absolutely encourage work

Please don't push a job on her at the moment.

Most of the responders are not in your position.

Your daughter's moved from a comp to a 6th form grammar.
The pace, pressure, level of homework and expectation will be far higher, more time consuming and more exhausting. Now is not the time for a part time job.
Perhaps she'll even have a longer commute?

If she's not studying, socialising to make new friends which is vital for mental health in a new school, then she'll need to rest and recuperate from her new environment and expectations. A'levels in a competetive grammar setting where everyone is being pushed for all As and A* and the pace of teaching is lightning fast in comparison to a comp can be gruelling and relentless.

How she performs in her end of Y12 May exams will determine her predicted grades for University. Grammar kids will know this. Your daughter doesn't have time for a part time job.

Part time jobs in my daughter's grammar are rare. One girl had a retail position for some of Y12, was struggling and gave it up. Another continues as it's only a few days on the school canteen cashier till so it's easy for her to fit in. But even that can take it's toll as lunch times are needed to refuel and build important friendships.

As others have suggested, holiday work may be an option if money is tight. Otherwise it'll just be more pressure on her. All the best.

@NC1258
"Your daughter's moved from a comp to a 6th form grammar.
The pace, pressure, level of homework and expectation will be far higher, more time consuming and more exhausting."

What a very strange thing to say.

I went to two grammar schools (one up to GCSE, the other for 6th Form) and had a part time job in an independent boutique type place from a few months shy of 15. Every Saturday and then opportunity for extra work in school hols when full time staff were off and cover was needed. While sometimes irritating to not have lots of free weekend time (esp. once I turned 18 and was normally v hungover on a Saturday morning!) I’m really glad my parents encouraged me when the chance was offered. It builds confidence, you learn how to not be shy around ‘proper’ adults, and learn how to problem solve with initiative etc. It deffo helped me get other retail jobs while at uni, and taught me the value of money (e.g. if a dress/cocktail costs X, how many hours of work does that equal?).

One thing I’d recommend tho is to try and get a job in a national chain, line a supermarket. That way if the plan is uni, child may be able to switch locations and not have to job hunt in a new place!

Just to follow up, most of my year worked in some way by 6th form - in a shop, lifeguarding, receptionist etc. Some even tied it into uni hopes, e.g. the person who wanted to be (and indeed did become) a vet worked in the vets as a weekend receptionist. Only people who didn’t either had the EMA grant or loaded parents to dole out spending money…!

100% encourage a part time job! It gives them experience in a range of skills that you or school cannot provide. It gives independence and teach them about finances etc. At 6th form your still treat like a child.
At 16 I found the job I had invaluable to deal with other people etc.

I'm a nurse and quite often get students who are 18 and have never worked.....it's a big adjustment to them and some are still wanting to be treated as a child when they are adult learners.
Whereas students who have had part time jobs in the past there is a big difference. Especially in attitude to work.

My cousin who did a 4 year degree at a Scottish university for chemical engineering.... she has had x1 job over 1 summer and is currently still looking for jobs at 22....as her parents wanted her to 'concentrate on her studies' whereas work experience etc would have done her the world of good.

.. excuse me?!

I found my part time job eased stress in some ways though

It feels like such a pressure cooker when all the focus is on study. I also suspect that a huge amount of study time isn't entirely study time.

Going to the library with my mates was never productive. Similarly I wonder how much time in rooms is spent messaging and browsing.

I got addicted enough to solitaire, not sure I'd have coped with modern distractions!

But knowing you have two hours to do your work in focuses the mind. I found it forced me to use my time more effectively. I work in a university. We see it with parents who return to study. They excel because they use the windows they have. Many are working as well.

It also gives you different friendship groups and opportunities away from school. It helps to dilute any issues with friends etc because it's not so intense.

I've always found the knowledge I should be doing something most stressful. When working that noise stops.

My DD has a part time job - star tree d same week as 6th form.

She is contracted to 8 hours a week which she finds a good amount to balance with studying. Before Xmas it goes to nearer 14/15. That's too much with work really but it's for a limited period - she certainly wouldn't want to commit to that.

She enjoyed having spending money and she's saving for uni.

She currently splits her hours over 2 weekend days but will ask to swop to do all in one day I think as she comes up to last couple of months before a levels.