For cutting ties

[chucky1]

My bf and I have been together for 6 months. It all started with a one night stand at a festival and we haven't stop talking since. After deciding to date, we made it official a couple months later.

He was out of a 2.5 year relationship just a month before our one night stand. He initiated the break up because he wants a family and she doesn't. But they both agreed it was for the best.

We have a wonderful relationship and aligned goals. We feel we are compatible and have fallen in love.

My BF and his ex were close friends with another couple. Let's call the other couple Ted and Beth.
Ted is my BF's childhood best friend and they are very close. Beth and my BF's ex were good friends through Ted's and my BF's friendship.

Since my BF and I have been together, Beth has been making things difficult. She clearly feels a strong allegiance to the ex girlfriend. I made sure I was respectful of this friendship and tried not to push anything as I felt a friendship between this couple and I should be natural. I did invite them to a Halloween party I am throwing at the weekend and we are friends on social media. I have also been on a few days out with them and my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well.

I noticed Beth started watching me on social media (stories) before anyone else and her behaviour became a bit strange. She posted a photo of her, her DP, my boyfriend and his ex recently from a holiday abroad a year ago. It seemed a bit random and my boyfriend was puzzled too.

I brushed over it but my instincts told me she was going to be a problem.

Fast forward to this weekend, a group of us went to an event and then out afterwards. She seemed fine and we briefly chatted. Then once they left, one of the friends came and warned me to be very careful around her because she doesn't like me and believes my BF and his ex are far better suited. Lots more was said.
My BF was informed too.

I decided today to remove her from all social media platforms. I know this is going to cause some drama, but I felt I needed to send a clear message that behaving in such a way means no access to my life at all. She's around 8 years younger than me and has a history of shitty behaviour like this. I have no intention of being around her again unless we are at mutual gatherings, in which I am happy to remain civil.

Part of me feels I was too hasty, but the friend who reported these things to us is very trustworthy. What do you think? AIBU for cutting ties?

Are you all 15?

Your bf and the gf have a very long history. You will either be dropped or have to suffer her indefinitely, but you've drawn the battle lines so will have to just see what happens next.

Bold move for a relationship 6 months old. Ted is his childhood best friend and Beth & Ted come as a package. Not sure you'll win this one OP. Future holidays, birthdays etc are going to be frosty. Unless of course you start a campaign to cut Ted out of your BFs life next.

You've definitely drawn battle lines.

I don't believe I have drawn the battle line, I believe she did. I have tolerated a fair amount of disrespect from her over the past month and I haven't said a thing. She sat with my BF's friends before heading to the bar this weekend and asked everyone what they thought about me because she said she couldn't stand me and thinks my BF and his ex were far better suited, amongst many other things. I haven't been confrontational or rude as a resort, I have just cut ties because I don't feel comfortable having someone like this in my life.

My BF tolerates her for the sake of his best friend. He doesn't consider her a friend because of her history of nasty behaviour.

How are the participants of this story old enough to go on a holiday abroad together? Were they perhaps traveling with parents and are family friends?

YANBU but they're all a close unit and as a new partner you are not in the circle and this is going to make things awkward for you. I was in a very similar situation myself a few years back, ultimately I wasn't accepted because the ex girlfriend of 10 years was still besties with everyone in the group and there was a clear allegiance. I felt so unwelcome, this made them see me as stand offish, they all thought we were ill suited and maybe that was true but it didn't really stand a chance because of the constant inteference. I was dropped after a year together, the catalyst was an awkward NYE where I didn't fit in to their gang. Quite relieved now I think about it. What a load of Year 9 style drama.

Some of the friendship group link to mine. My BF and I have a lot of mutual friends which overlap. His friendship group have welcomed me and made me feel very included in everything. It was also a member of my BF's friendship group (who is also friends with Ted and Beth) that warned us. The only person to demonstrate any issue with me is Beth and it's clear she's trying to influence others in the group too.

There are a handful of my BF's and Ted's friends who do not like Beth because of past drama she has caused.

I wouldn’t put up with her shit attitude or behaviour and would have blocked her too.

Why does there have to be so much drama? You don't need to be bosom buddies or live in each other's pockets, just be polite when you happen to see each other and don't get so involved.

Such a pain when people behave like this. You’re dragged into something shitty because of someone else who doesn’t act like an adult. I think you did the right thing. Shut her out from your life but when you do see her in group settings just say hello and be polite. She will no doubt be rude back but don’t let her behaviours change yours or who you are.