Am I silly or reasonable about a mattress

[Wantachangefor2024]

This year I have battled extreme depression and weight gain. I have managed to lose two and half stone. Half way to where I want to be but I’m pleased.

However, around six months ago I decorated the house for a fresh start for my weight loss. I got a new mattress. Since then, my depression has been so bad where I change my clothes, but I shower/bath once a week. I change my bedding every three weeks. I really haven’t been looking after myself. I am doing much better and intend on keeping it up. I’m too ashamed to tell anyone this is what I’ve been doing as I’ve been so low and I live alone so no one knew.

Amazingly. When well. I have quite strict cleanliness and hygiene rules so mentally really struggling with this. I feel I can not go back to my old ways now but do I buy a new mattress and sheets etc. or just move on?

please be kind. I’ve had a really bad year and struggled. Around four months ago every night I’d wake up wet through as I’d stopped heavy antidepressants and anxiety medication. Two different ones and I was in a world of my own. I do struggle with rather bad ocd normally which is why it’s really going round my mind now. Thank you for any advice.

Sorry you have been having such a rough time, OP.
Not sure I've understood why you are considering buying a new mattress. Is it because you fear it has become dirty through not changing the sheets often enough? If so, you could probably find it a way to clean it with disinfectant powder or even bicarbonate of soda and a hoover, and then cover it with a good quality mattress protector. Washing the sheets etc will be enough to get them properly clean, they won't need replacing.
But please explain if I've misunderstood the problem.

It's so great you're doing better and keeping it up. Be kind to yourself x
Is the mattress stained or have any odours? I wouldn't buy new unless really bad. I would flip, or rotate it, spend money on a new waterproof mattress protector and a mattress topper, new duvet and pillow, and perhaps see if I could hire or get a good deal on one of those bissel things

Otherwise a good scrub, baking Soda, zoflora mixed with water sprayed on and perhaps stand mattress up to air out will work wonders.

@Wantachangefor2024

May I suggest some lovely new bedding and a new duvet and pillows rather than a mattress?

Maybe turn the mattress and air it if you feel that would feel fresher

I totally get what you mean about freshening the house up as it feels so nice.

I'm OCD in my house and have real rituals/things I do at certain times and then it feels amazing and I feel good but I'm always careful not to go overboard.

I recently bought some real luxury feeling bedding and new cushions and it really does feel like a luxury to me.

Also off topic of bedding but I recently bought an expensive but absolute amazing soap for the shower and a hand cream the same scent and it really makes me feel well and better using it.

And well done on your weight loss.
I've lost 1.5 stone since April and am aiming for another stone and it really does make you feel better but please remember coming into the colder darker months are when our bodies try to slow down and preserve energy.
I always remind myself of this when I really want to sit and chill

I'm not sure what the problem with the mattress is. Washing bedding every 3 weeks is fine and normal - even if you did it less frequently it wouldn't affect the mattress.. you could get a mattress protector for it anyway but I wouldn't replace it or any of your other bedding - waste of money as it's so new

you already got a new mattress, just a few months ago? and are now thinking about getting another new one? or am i getting your story wrong?
a mattress should last a fair few years, and certainly not need replaced so soon. you could flip it over and/or use a steam-cleaner if you feel it needs it. good idea to put a mattress protector on it if it doesn't already have one (and if it does, wash it). i don't wash my duvet cover more than once every 3 weeks, but usually have a sheet between it and me, and that feels fine.
don't worry too much about it!

If you’re concerned about the mattress you could sprinkle bicarbonate of soda on it, leave it for a few hours then vacuum off. If you want to add a perfume use an essential oil, put the bicarb in a plastic, lidded tub and some drops of the oil. Put the lid on ( securely!!!) and shake it around a bit. I use this to freshen rugs.

Or just buy some nice new bedding and/or pillows, maybe.

You won't have done any harm to your mattress , they’re designed to ventilate.

Unless the mattress is badly soiled/stained there's no need to replace it. Why not buy a mattress topper? Just wash your bedding whenever you have the energy or inclination. It's nobody else's business how often you change your sheets. Certainly don't throw the bedding away if it can be put in the washing machine.
If it would make you feel better you could get a new set of duvet covers just to cheer yourself up?
Please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed.
I hope you feel better soon. X

Hi OP, well done on everything you are pushing through. I do hope you feel proud of yourself. Depression is horrendous and coming off anti depressants can be so rough.
If you can afford it and the mattress is badly stained I would go ahead and get a new one and some nice sheets aswell. You have been through such a lot and it’s important to be good to yourself.

If money is an issue maybe scrub the mattress as best you can, there are loads of videos on Tik Tok showing how to do this or maybe flip it and buy some new sheets.

Please don’t feel ashamed you have fought hard to get where you are. You deserve comfort and peace of mind.

This is great advice.

Thank you all for the advice and everyone was nice. Money isn’t an issue but it wasn’t a really cheap mattress the eve premium one. There’s no stains at all. I do have a, albeit thin, nothing like a topper, mattress protector on.

It’s the thoughts of how disgusting I’ve been to sleep in a bed after not washing for a week and what that will have done to my mattress. I don’t feel like it smells it’s the knowing how I must have made it dirty though.

I am angry with myself that I didn’t prioritise such things. The depression was so bad I couldn’t face being alone with my body as I’m unhappy with it. And also even though I should have played a podcast or something. Being in the quiet with just my thoughts. I’d avoid. Yet i sleep with nothing in but underwear but that seemed fine as my body is under the covers. I never knew how depression can make you physically unwell too as I was often too tired to care for myself. I battled on to stay at work so I only had time to crash out once home.

Assuming you have had an undersheeton, I doubt you have done much damage. Give the mattress a steam clean or clean with bicarb as pps have suggested and turn it. Get yourself a couple of mattress toppers - don't have to be expensive ones - and change and wash them when you change your bedding in the future, then it won't matter (in terms of keeping your mattress fresh) if you have a phase where you are struggling to wash.

Let the mattress air and then vacuum it. If it's marked then turn it over.

With a mattress protector on you definitely haven’t done anything bad to your mattress. Honestly, they are designed to absorb and ventilate out moisture from our bodies.
Please stop being so hard on yourself, buy some nice relaxing bath or shower stuff, treat yourself to something you’d really like.
We’re all just doing the best we can in this world with what we’ve got ( materially, physically and mentally) at any one time. Look after yourself,
( since 3.30 I’ve had my PJs and oodie on and I’m on the sofa with a hot water bottle, it’s a grey miserable day, I might add a blanket)