I know it’s my issue but can’t stop!

[Cupofteaandbiscuits]

So as not to drop feed I have PTSD and OCD that started from childhood abuse. Lots of areas of my mental health have improved however the feeling of being ‘not clean’ has stayed. It means that going on holiday is horrible for me. I don’t like how everything feels and smells and hate touching anything as it’s not my usual surroundings.

When I was younger and single it just meant I never went away. No big deal. However now I have DH and DC obviously going away is part of life. I don’t let it show to DC but DH knows and will help. So the rest of my family are excited as we go away tomorrow but I’m dreading it knowing that I won’t sleep properly, will find it hard to touch anything, hate sitting on the sofa etc.

I know I am being unreasonable and it’s something I hate so much about myself.

How can I help myself to be better and more relaxed?

Can you take a familiar blanket or throw to sit on, and a cushion that you like? Would taking a fragrance diffuser or similar that you like help with masking unfamiliar smells?

Thank you. I take all my own bedding and a spray of our fabric conditioner but I still can’t cope! I know it sounds ridiculous but just can’t seem to get past this!

Have you had CBT and tried medication? I'm assuming yes as you say your mental health is better, but it's not clear. I'm currently undergoing CBT for the first time in my life for OCD (not sure how I've made it this far), and the advice above, while well-meaning, is just a safety behaviour and isn't addressing the issue

It's not ridiculous at all. It's part of your PTSD and OCD. It's great that your DH is supportive and will help you.

If you're getting support and treatment for the PTSD and OCD then I would look at the strategies that are included in that for dealing with challenging situations.

Oh I’m a bit like this!! I am quite odd about unfamiliar smells! I take Feather and Down lavender spray and douse my bedding and nightwear, and anything I’m in contact with like cushions, or soft furnishings. Certain smells make me panic a bit like I need to get away or I’m suffocating! I think I should probably be locked away! (somewhere nice smelling😆😆)

Forgot to say, I have a PTSD diagnosis, take tablets to control panic attacks etc

Have you looked into EMDR therapy? If there are specific triggers it can really help.

Dettol fabric spray is good and can be used on most surfaces Inc fabric and hard surfaces

Are you on medication? That is a really hard way to live so try every avenue that you can.

I’m on anti depressants and had CBT several times. I want EMDR therapy but recently denied it as NHS therapies felt like there was too much trauma for the 12 weeks to they can offer 🙄

You'll have to figure out a way of paying for therapy yourself.

There’s no way I could afford private therapy and so I need to seek alternatives!